What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
CSI Dodge City
I love music—always have. As I mentioned last week, I spent a lot of years writing songs and playing bass in rock and blues bands. Personally, I enjoy all types of music with the exception of rap, and I might even enjoy some of it if I could understand the lyrics and they weren’t about slappin’ yo mama (or something worse). Some folks are not so tolerant, as you will see in today’s story.
This week’s Friday Flash Fictioneer photo is courtesy of Roger Cohen. To read other stories, or learn how to participate, visit our hostess, RenettaWisoff-Fields blog, http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/ and click on the little blue InLinkz critter to find links other author’s blogs.
BIG BASS IN COW TOWN
“Any information on those two prisoners, Marshal?”
“Yeah, I just got a telegram from the Sheriff in Wichita. They’re known as Texas Red and Brown Bart.”
“Any serious crimes?”
“Naw, same as here, Festus. Switching sheet music when the piano player isn’t looking.”
“What kind of music, classical?”
“No, even worse—Jazz.”
Marshal Dillon faced the prisoners.
“Boys, you may get away with this kind of thing in New Orleans, but this is a western town and we listen to western music. If I catch you around here again we’ll string you up. Now, get the hell out of Dodge.”
27 Comments on “CSI Dodge City”
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What's So Funny? 
GREAT story. Made me giggle. My mom loved James Arnes! Great memories watching Gunsmoke as a kid with her. Thanks for stirring those memories in my mind with your words. Well done. I wonder how many will actually know those names?
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I think even those unfamiliar with Gunsmoke will still get the humor. Although “get the hell out of Dodge” may not mean as much to them as is does to us.
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I know they will get the humor! But you forgot to slip Miss Kitty in there! 🙂
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Hahahaha! Cute, Russell! You got that Gunsmoke thing down PAT, too!
(“Well now, Matthew, it’s gonna be a two-toed turkey-tailed TUBA-loo!”)
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Dear Roscoe,
Slip the piano player some Klezmer that will give Dodge some real culture and make it a hora story.
Entertaining as always!
shalom Y’all,
Renetta
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Enjoyable as always. I was going to mention Miss Kitty, too, but….
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Loved this – switching the sheet music made me laugh out loud – is that actually a crime?
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haha lovin’ Marshal Dillon ^^
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Hi Russell,
This actually happened to me once and I ended up playing Claire de Lune on my pedal steel at a biker bar. I still walk funny. You, though, write very funny. Ron
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Ron! You didn’t! And you lived to tell about it????
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“If I catch you around here again we’ll string you up” Ok, this got a laugh out loud.
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That was so accurately Gunsmoke, Russell, I’m not sure if it’s parody or homage. I’ll call you a deal and say let’s call it pamage.
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ahh… Festus and his mule. Must a been the red-eye!
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Hahaha, this is great! Not JAZZ, *gasp*!
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I can still remember Chester limping along behind Matt Dillon – “Mr Dillon, say Mr Dillon”.
Nice take on the prompt and thanks for the memories.
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I missed all the Gunsmoke references – am I too old? Too young?? But great writing all the same. Do jazz musicians even use sheet music??
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No, but they were tricking the piano player, who was probably bangin out “The Camptown Ladies.
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Even the title made me laugh! 🙂
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From the pieces I’ve read so far today, seems like the fictioneers are mostly anti-musicians; even when they are pro-music. Your players need to learn to play without sheet music, Russell!
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This made me smile as I imagined the faces of the boys 🙂
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Can’t play Western music on basses? And Jazz is unforgivable. Great story.
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I remember Marshall Dillon all too well, and not just because of watching him again on cable these days. He always shot a guy at the beginning of each episode; now we know that they were all musicians, if not actually instruments. Hard for cellos to get out of Dodge fast enough! Now, Russell, can we revisit Rawhide and Wagon Train in future posts too?
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Don’t forget the Lone Ranger & Tonto. Maybe one of us should do a geriatric take on Rowdy Yates.
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hahahaha, my husband, who appreciates very few stories, but loves the old western tv shows, liked this one. I did too!
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Dear Russell,
Not sure how you do it every week, but this one had me chuckling out loud. Festus, indeed. Where was Miss Kitty?
Aloha,
Doug
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“Boys, you may get away with this kind of thing in New Orleans, but this is a western town and we listen to western music.” picky note: “may” is correct, but i doubt this character would speak correctly. he’d probably say “might.” also, in this context, “western” would be capitalized because it refers to a specific location and not just in a westerly direction. forgetting all that picky crap, very well done. but i’m afraid i don’t know what “festus” is. help me out?
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Thanks for pointing out the picky stuff, Rich. I won’t getter better without honest feedback.
Festus was Matt Dillon’s deputy on the Gunsmoke tv series.
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