What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
My First Date
Welcome to another installment of Friday Flash Fiction. This week’s thrilling episode is the work of guest blogger, Rachel Crofton, the internationally published author and creator of The Food Triangle, the critically acclaimed and scientifically balanced approach to weight loss.
Thank you. ~ When Russell came crawling on his elbows and knees, begging me to fill in for him, I knew something was up. He’d seen the Award Winning photo from Beth Carter (one of my favorite authors) and was having a brain fart. The old cuss started opening closet doors and drug out the skeleton of Delbert Leroy Watson (known as Junior), the first boy I went on a “real” date with. Sure, I’d held hands and claimed to be “going with” a boy or two, but had never been alone with one in his own car. Daddy wouldn’t let me date until I was fifteen. By then, the best of the crop had been picked over. Junior was beanpole with greasy hair and a buck-tooth grin. But he had a car and ten bucks. That was all I needed to know.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, our chaperone and person in charge of monitoring hanky-panky in these stories, is the incomparable Alexandra Wisoff-Fields. To learn how to participate, in this weekly exercise in madness, visit her blog, http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/ after which, scroll down to the blue In links critter and follow the links to other author’s blogs.
After a thirty-point inspection by my father, Junior escorted me to his car.
“It’s a convertible.” He grinned. “I made it myself.”
“Yes, it’s very . . . unique.”
We rumbled up College Avenue to the 71 Drive-In. The old lady in the ticket booth peered over her glasses and smacked her gum. “Five dollars,” she barked.
Junior bought popcorn, cokes, and some Dentyne. Half way through the movie Mr. Cinnamon Breath leaned over and kissed my cheek. I squirmed in the boat seat.
“These seats recline. We could lay down.”
I smiled. “Oops.” My icy coke flooded his lap.
44 Comments on “My First Date”
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What's So Funny? 
I guess he should be happy it wasn’t hot chocolate. Cute 🙂
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Ice works better on raging hormones.
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Yes but heat leaves lasting memories. 🙂
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Bought Dentyne gum! Classic. Nice work, Rachel.
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p.s. was it a cherry coke?
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But of course 🙂
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Very nice! At least the drink wasn’t hot!
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Good use of the Coke! Your guy came out of his date at the drive-in in much better shape than mine! Great minds and all that.
janet
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OH? I’d love to hear your drive-in story.
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My story for this week, not mine personally. 🙂
janet
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Loved this. The buying of ‘Dentyne’ certainly set the mood for what was to follow.
A wry smile remains….. 🙂
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Thank you , Carolyn. That was the intended result.
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Clever girl 🙂 Hopefully he will come up with a new line before his next date. Took me back to drive ins, school and friday nights. Nice.
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“It’s a convertible.” He grinned. “I made it myself.”
That takes pride in ownership to a whole new level or at least to the middle of the barrel.
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I wanted to say ‘he was good with his hands,’ but the 100 limit and the PG-13 rating kept me from planting that visual image.
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Glad you worked your way around the censors.
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If only I’d had the cool car and moves of Junior when I was young. If only I had them now! Although I’d hope something other than icy coke would be flooding my lap. A nice little American Graffiti type story, sure to please at least one of your two fans.
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Thanks, Perry. It had the old Westinghouse buzzing.
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Great story. I liked this. I could really picture the whole story as I was reading. Nice. 🙂
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a different one for sure:)
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🙂 Thirty point inspection? He got off lightly I’d say. Nice one – I could practically feel the teenage angst…
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Nice ending. Now, was it intentional or not? It was an effective mood killer, in any case.
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just a polite way of saying, “No thanks.”
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Effective, at least. I think I’d rather a woman just say “no thanks” to me. 🙂
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Great comedy!
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Very funny story. Poor Junior, I do feel a bit sorry for him!
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Well, well Russell (I mean Rachel). I can’t believe an internationally known author knows who the heck I am!! I got so excited at first and then decided you just have multiple personality disorder.
Back to your story. Love it. Especially liked the character’s name–Junior–and the 30-point inspection from her father. Classic. And what a way to difuse the situation and send a clear (okay, cold, dark Coke) message.
I’ll definitely print this out to share with the owner once I determine who he is.
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thanks, Beth. I hope you had time to click on and read “The Food Triangle.” I’m surprised Rachel hasn’t been invited on the daytime TV talk shows to discuss the benefits of that program. If that happens, I may have to ask you to fill in for me on Dr. Oz
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Full admission. I googled Rachel! Lol. There is one on Facebook who has a potty mouth. You had me worried for awhile. I’ll be happy to fill in for you/her on Dr. Oz but the docs on “The Doctors” are cuter. Can you get Rachel on that show instead?
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Yeah, one of the girls I work with Googled Rachel too. I hope that potty-mouthed one doesn’t tarnish our image. If the cute doctors call, I’ll send you an email.
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At least it was icy Coke and not hot coffee! Very nice job getting us back to the time of drive-ins.
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/eye-of-the-beholder/
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I love the introduction almost more than the story itself. And the story was great.
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Thanks, Bjorn. Writing the intro is as much fun (sometimes more) than the story itself.
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Good girl, that’ll cool him off.
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I enjoyed how the car evoked character . . . with the excellent climax a bonus.
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oh, I could see that ticket booth lady, and I loved the story.
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Dear Junior,
I think the intro was a sneaky way to wedge in two stories. Certainly glad you had a guest writer this week. I was really tired of you-know-who’s stories.
I’d say it was Coca Cola put to good use.
shalom,
Alexandra
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Thanks, Alexandra. You-know-who loves to ramble and the intro is just the place for a ramblin’ kind of guy.
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Hello
humor is hard to write – and even harder to get right – good job. I — Bill
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that’s one glorious “accident.” well done.
i think cokes should be capitalized, as it’s the name brand.
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I thought you were against capitalization, rich. in our region coke is a generic term for sodas. in minnesota everyone calls them a “pop”
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What a memorable date that must have been. I like Mr. Cinnamon Breath and the boat seats. Very funny.
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This date would become a cocktail story one day… or maybe not! Hilarious!
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Love that last line.
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