What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Lily Livered Limbo
It is not uncommon for teenagers to experiment with alcohol before reaching the legal drinking age. In fact, many of the backwoods hillbillies I ran with skipped the test tube and beaker steps completely and went straight to the consumption phase in their quest for scientific knowledge.
*One note of caution; when conducting these experiments it’s a good idea to have one person remain sober to serve as the “control sample.” This breathing petri dish is responsible for documenting the behavioral changes among the test group and ensuring that all members of the panel make it home safely.
This week’s photo from Lora Mitchell shows just how far young people will go to satisfy their cravings for alcohol. If you are new to Friday Flash Fictions, the Dean of our College of Contributors is Professor Raphaella Wisoff-Fields. To learn how to participate, in this weekly exercise in madness, visit her blog, http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/ after which, scroll down to the blue In links critter and follow the links to other author’s blogs.
Underage drinking has reached epidemic proportions in today’s society. Teens can be very resourceful when acquiring alcohol.
“We’ve always kept our liquor cabinet locked,” said one mother. “When I found the bottles under Cindy’s bed, I questioned her, but she refused to reveal her sources. My husband set up a video camera. This is what we found.”
“I feel horrible,” said Cindy’s father. “Here I was blaming Hugo, the neighbor’s St. Bernard, when all along it was Lily sneaking booze to our kid. She betrayed our trust. It was like being stabbed in the back with a plant food spike.”
31 Comments on “Lily Livered Limbo”
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What's So Funny? 
I guess becoming a vegetable is quite natural for underage drinkers. I assume this happened tp Lily
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No Bjorn, Lily doesn’t drink. She is into pot.
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😉 that will make you a veggie to
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I think I had a baby-sitter like Lilly growing up, but I can’t remember.
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Yep, they don’t call it a “sippy cup” for nothing.
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Doesn’t surprise me when a “death” flower delivers alcohol.
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/03/13/friday-fictioneers-who-woulda-thought-genre-fiction-rated-pg13/
Scott
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“Into pot!” Hahaha! You had me with your title.
janet
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Yea I found the pot comment hilarious. I was kind of slow but I got it. The plant was sharing all the liquor it accumulated from the wakes.
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makes me wonder if you were thinking of time when you were “under the influence”-just kidding-thats what I tell my kids about todays “cartoons” sobeer people dont think like that-very creative!
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Well, call me dumb today! I had to read this a second time to get it, but it was worth it! Brain engaged, story enjoyed, laughter ensued.
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As usual, I just chuckled when I read this. I loved the St Bernard and I loved the Plant food spike!
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this was good thinking:) and fun reading
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Nice imagery here. Loved the reference to the St Bernard. Well done, as usual.
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Dear Rudyard,
You should be locked up….for making me groan. The pot comment should’ve been worked into the story. To the back of the bus and give Clarabell back his seltzer bottle. Funny stuff as usual.
Shalom,
Raphaella
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Yes, Ma’am. You’re right as usual. I didn’t think to include the pot until Bjorn’s comment. Maybe Perry will sneak us in a couple of beers.
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Interesting take on the prompt
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Lily sneaking booze? Lily was no friend to me! She owes me many rounds of drinks to make up for it. Hold her til I get there, Russell!
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I will Perry, but I can’t promise there will be anything left by the time you get here (hiccup).
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Russell,
I think I want some of what your smoking…I’ll talk to Lily about it! LMAO! You out did yourself this week!
Tom
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Wow, that’s cool dude. Wanna a hit? – Lily
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puff puff pass…
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Thanks. I was beginning to wonder if you were going to bogart that joint, my friend.
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Everyone always tries to blame the dog. But it is never the dog, just like you can never assume it is always the butler.
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When you run around with a small keg attached to your collar folks are going to jump to that conclusion, but it could be buttermilk–NOT!
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I’m with the other commenters – the pot line needed to make it into the story!
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The dad shouldn’t be so hard on himself; I would have blamed the dog too.
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Hi Russell: Oh…soooooo…witty. How about re-writing the story and adding the “pot” line?
I’m the last one on the totem pole.
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the hillbillies who grew up around me were not big fans of scientific method.
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Hi Russell,
A rainy Sunday afternoon and I’m finally getting to your story. Glad these parents finally go to the root of the problem. Many drinking problems stem from the inabiility to leaf it alone. Perhaps she should branch out to other drugs. Fun and funny story. Ron
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Witty story .. !
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Okay, I couldn’t resist reading just one more tonight. LOL Russell, you really are a sick puppy 🙂
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