Russell Gayer, author speaker
I have a blog buddy in NYC who often volunteers to usher at theaters. The primary perk being that she gets to see a lot of great performances (and occasionally a bad one) absolutely FREE. One of the reasons I enjoy her blog is that she shares her theater experience, including the interaction with obnoxious idiots, with her readers. She also takes us on excursions around the city to show us statues that pigeons have crapped on, fascinating architecture, and favorite local watering holes.
The last time I exposed myself to art, I was arrested for indecent exposure and destruction of public property. Who knew that a 300 yr. old marble statue could laugh? When I threw open my trench coat in front of the sculpture it cracked up—literally. I’m just glad the Mona Lisa wasn’t there. They’d still be trying to get that toothy grin off her face.
If you are new to Friday Flash Fictions, the curator of Literary Art is the esteemed Claudette Wisoff-Fields. To learn how to participate in this weekly exercise in madness mosey on over to her blog for instructions. After which, scroll down to the blue In links critter and follow the links to other author’s blogs.
Lucinda unlocked the back door and entered the kitchen. The furnishings had been rearranged and the oil lamps were burning. An eerie glow filled the room.
She took a quick inventory of her belongings. The only thing missing was a large invisible box she kept next to the refrigerator. Who would steal that?
The police dispatched Detective Lowry to investigate the crime. He checked for fingerprints. They must have worn gloves. After taking Lucinda’s statement he started to leave, then noticed a white smudge on the mirror. It was face-paint.
“Damn those mimes,” he muttered. “I should have known.”
Poetry, Horror, Psychological Thrillers
Stories From Within
Finding ways to make words sparkle
This is the blog of a woman who is seriously on the edge and I mean right ON the edge…no, not there… just a little bit further… further than that…no, further still…just a tiny bit more… just move slightly to the right a little…no, that’s too much…just move a tad to the left…that’s right, just there…now you’ve moved too far to the left… Damn, what part of the ‘on the edge’ do you not understand? Oh, and her matricidal boy genius, come devil spawn.
Or the three people I guilted into reading this blog, whatever.
Growing older is inevitable. Growing up is optional.
I may make you feel, but I can't make you think.
All the Blogging That's Fit To Print
AS I TOLD THE GIRL THAT I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO, THANKS FOR LAUGHING AT ME HERE TODAY.
A Humor Blog
Stylistically Abusing Language for the Betterment of Mankind
Straight up with a twist– Because life is too short to be subtle!
An author's perspective of mystery and more.
And the worst things. And all that weird stuff in between.
😆 The ‘invisible’ box is missing. Must be some cracker jack detectives. Nice tie in with the mimes. Creative story for the photo prompt. My second job as a young 18 year old was in the movie theater. That was a fun job.
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Thanks, Kim. You should visit her site. You’ll love it.
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I will a native NY’er of course. 🙂
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You do know that actions speak louder than words, don’t you? He could ask the other mimes, but no one’s talking. OK, I’m done.
janet
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Yeah, it’s easier to squeeze blood out of turnip than to get information out of a mime. But they are great at charades.
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Ha, I love the ending to this piece!
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What comes to mime is clever job and goofy as always….
Dude
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I’m pretty sure that I’ve tripped over that invisible box a time or two after visiting my favorite watering hole. I’ll now remember to blame the mimes for putting it there. Thanks for the shout out Russell!
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Yes, I’m sure there’s quite an infestation of mimes in NYC. I’ve tripped over a few invisible boxes myself.
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Russell you had me at the invisible box..must admit my eyebrow lifted and head was tilted..but you had me there till the end, one word sounds like… dove
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clever twist it was
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Clever and funny is good. Well done – I don’t know where you get your ideas from but you manage something different every week.
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I have an open account down at the Crazy Idea store. They send me a new one every week, kind of like the jelly of the month club.
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🙂
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Dear Rustafarian,
I used to do a lot of mime myself, but alas, mime didn’t pay. Funny stuff.
shalom,
Claudette.
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Mime never does. Glad to see you gave up the life of mime and got on the straight and narrow.
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I had to mime-walk back in and commend you for thinking outside the box.
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Groan!
🙂
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A missing invisible box.. 😉
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You got me with this one, for a moment I thought it was going to be a serious story. I should have known better! You had me laughing out loud at the last line. 🙂
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Ha! Ha!
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/03/27/friday-fictioneers-darkness-comes-genre-horror-pg/
Scott
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I knew there was a reason I never trusted mimes! Better go lock up my invisible car before they get it.
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Love your story and your use of the ‘missing invisible box’
Still smiling, very cleverly done
Dee
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How do you come up with these things?
Your intro had me laughing already before I got to the main story.
You are a star Russell 🙂
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Oh u have a criminal ‘mind’ to make us laugh.. The invisible box ! 😀
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Those fellows are none for being silent but deadly! Well, okay, silent and stealthy I guess in this case.
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I thought it was gas that was silent but deadly – Oops, that’s another story.
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Wonder if anyone has found that invisible box yet… Great story 🙂
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That’s great. I’ll bet they escaped by going down that invisible staircase too.
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I love that an invisible box was missing. Fun story!
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LOL. A bunch of awesomenss, as always. And I loved your intro as well as your piece. Well done. Funny.
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As usual, totally hilarious! who would have an invisible box? and who would wear gloves, except mimes and Mickey Mouse???
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Hahahahahaha! Hilarious and a pleasure, as usual. You really “mimed” the gold from that one!
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Even with the title and the invisible box, I was fooled until the very end. Criminal mimes – what a funny concept! I’d like to hear more about their exploits. Thanks, Russell!
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Me too, but they won’t say a single word.
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Maybe if we tickle them.
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Pure brilliance! Got a good laugh out of this one 😀
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Clever idea, very well told.
Loved it.
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Hi Russell,
A mime stealing an invisible box. That happens to me all the time. In fact, most of my most valuable possessions are invisible. I get in trouble when I wear my invisible tux. And I’m rich in invisible money, but it’s impossible to spend it. This story was out of the box, way out. Ron
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My money is invisible too. It must be contagious.
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The only thing missing was an invisible box – Russell, this is my new favourite line from you. I’m still giggling!
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Another gem from Russell. I enjoyed Ron’s comments re. the invisible money. I’m a late-comer to FF this week. Still learning how to navigate WordPress.
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Gotta love a mime who barely leaves a trace.
I’m really enjoying reading as well as writing for ‘Friday Fictioneers’.
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Good. I’m glad you joined our little group.
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Little…Hmm. I think if Pinocchio said that his nose would be growing…
And if you like humor you might enjoy:
http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2013/02/wwp-142-charmed-and-lucky-too.html
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Uh yeah, it was obvious. 😉
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I’m just now getting time to get back to Friday Fictioneers, and I have two past weeks to catch up on. So I’ve just read this today. It is HILARIOUS, Russell! Great job. Almost no one writes this kind of humor these days — pieces that are created just because they’re such darn fun and for no other reason. You do it very well.
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