Russell Gayer, author speaker
Poetry, Horror, Psychological Thrillers
Stories From Within
Finding ways to make words sparkle
This is the blog of a woman who is seriously on the edge and I mean right ON the edge…no, not there… just a little bit further… further than that…no, further still…just a tiny bit more… just move slightly to the right a little…no, that’s too much…just move a tad to the left…that’s right, just there…now you’ve moved too far to the left… Damn, what part of the ‘on the edge’ do you not understand? Oh, and her matricidal boy genius, come devil spawn.
Or the three people I guilted into reading this blog, whatever.
Growing older is inevitable. Growing up is optional.
I may make you feel, but I can't make you think.
All the Blogging That's Fit To Print
AS I TOLD THE GIRL THAT I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO, THANKS FOR LAUGHING AT ME HERE TODAY.
A Humor Blog
Stylistically Abusing Language for the Betterment of Mankind
Straight up with a twist– Because life is too short to be subtle!
An author's perspective of mystery and more.
And the worst things. And all that weird stuff in between.
Poor fellow. Great story. I’m still giggling.
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Dear Rump-Roast,
Quite a tale from the bottom side. Starting my day with a laugh.
thanks
Shalom,
Dr. P. J
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PS. Love your proct-tagonist.
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I hope he didn’t use candles.
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If any of Dave’s humor rubs off on you (I should probably pardon that expression, given the nature of your story), you’ll be humorously un-Barry-ble. Much fun!!
janet
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Hope our own Rump-Roast doesn’t become the butt of all jokes.
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How did we get to posterior humor from plantar warts, which I know for a fact do NOT grow on bottoms…other than the bottoms of feet? 🙂
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Ask Mr. Roast. Sure I don’t know.
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Obviously, Mr. Fingers doesn’t have a clue what plantar warts are. He has only heard the term and misinterpted it as “planter” and assumes it’s a condition that effects those in agriculture.
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Judging from tha picture the rusty new fangled farm machine wasn’t a very easy ride. It might have bee-hooved Mr. Fingers to get a tetanus shot, too. I hope you bond with Dave!
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I’m excited about it, WV. It’ll be a big time in the old town tonight!
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My friend in Boston attended a reading with David Sedaris last weekend. She said that afterward he took time to speak to everyone personally and it wasn’t “Hi, bye, next!” He REALLY talked to everyone individually. She was blown away that someone so big would be so kind.
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My daughter, Greta, met him at Nightbird Books in Fayetteville last year. He dropped in to sign some books prior to his reading at Walton Arts Center. She said he was extremely personable and a lot of fun to be around. I’ve read three of his books and enjoyed them all.
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Ye-uk! I would hate to be a doctor, although the salary would be useful…
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I’m laughing out loud, as per usual. Another masterpiece by one of my “go-to” authors. I’d like to meet the guy who inspired that character. Wouldn’t want to shake his hand …
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Oh, come on, Kent. You know you’re dying to shake his hand and will sniff your fingers afterward just to see if he lives up to his nickname.
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The things you come up with! Have fun tonight!
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That was very funny, though I’m now feeling quite squeamish…!
Sometimes I wish my imagination wasn’t so ‘literal’…!
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EWWWW! lol
On the other hand..way cool about Dave Barry!
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all this time, I never knew I was a farmer…. wait, this isn’t on the internet is it ?
made me laugh!
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I’m just sitting here shaking my head at ya Russell. You’ve come up with another rib tickler. Hope you never reach the bottom of the barrel of humour.
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You’re clairvoyant, Mr. Fingers! Just this week I had a plantar wart and had it removed by liquid nitrogen. It is hurting like a hemorrhoid right as we speak. There, I’ve shared my medical condition on the Internet! Now you share yours ….
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I went to the ear, nose, and throat doctor. Sometime was trapped in my ear hair. Come to find out, it was a Bengal Tiger. There, are you happy?
I’m so embarrassed 😦
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Well, you’re not “behind” the times with this little “grape” 🙂
Excellent story 🙂
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I was really enjoying that until we got to Mr. Fingers’ nickname. (I had to look up plantar warts, so now I know.) Another funny story that made me smile.
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well, he couldn’t help it.
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Very funny, right down to the details!
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Your characters always have a great voice. This is awesome.
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Thank you, David.
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Oh my goodness, what a twist at the end.
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