What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Rapunzel’s Sister
Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock for the last two hundred years, you’re probably familiar with the Bros. Grimm fairy tale “Rapunzel.” As in most stories of this genre, the damsel in distress is terminally pretty and the hero brutally handsome (i.e. ~ Eagles lyrics to “Life in the Fast Lane”).
What you’re about to learn is the story of Rapunzel’s lesser-known sister, Carlotta—better known as Whollata in fast-lane circles.
If you are new to Friday Flash Fiction, the Fairy Godmother in charge of transposing everyday photos into miracles of literary art is “Magic Wanda” Wisoff-Fields (fastest wand in the Mid-West). To learn how to participate in this weekly exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To read stories by other FFF authors click here.
Carlotta stared at her reflection in the mirror and flashed a picket-fence smile. She spun in a tight pirouette, admiring her linebacker figure and scarlet, Brillo-pad hair.
How could fate be so cruel? Poor Rapunzel sported long, beautiful tresses and the body of a centerfold, but only attracted one man.
Carlotta, on the other hand, was overrun with suitors scaling the fire escape of her Upper West Side apartment to sample her pleasures. The lack of air conditioning only fanned the flames of their desire.
“Take my advice,” she told Rapunzel. “Hang something out the window other than your hair.”
26 Comments on “Rapunzel’s Sister”
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What's So Funny? 
where’s that ladder!!!
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Don’t worry, Janet. I’ll hold him back until you get here.
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It’s a long drop when he gets up there and finds out I’ve taken out Carlotta!
janet
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What a delightful fairytale! The Brother’s Grimm would be proud.
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Oh, I love it. What a delight this is. Carlotta. I wonder why I’ve never heard of her until now!
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I thought I had the only apartment on the Upper West Side lacking A/C Russell! Or is this the Upper West Side in that alternative universe?
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This is one of those noisy neighbors you mention in your book.
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I appreciate the clarification.
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I loved the ‘picket fence’ smile. Another good one Russell. 🙂
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“linebacker figure and Brillo-pad hair” LOL Russell, where do you get these lines from.
I was starting to get worried about you; you’re usually one of the first to post for Friday Fictioneers.
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They held my nose to the grindstone this week. I was lucky to squeeze a post in at all. Thankfully, Janet supplied a photo that was easy to work with.
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Linebacker figure? She must have borrowed one of her sister’s dresses to hang outside. Look, I’m gonna pass on Carlotta and see if I can get Rapunzel’s number. I think I hear her calling you though, Russell! Go to her, lad!
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Too late, Perry. She’s already signed a letter of intent to play for Havertown U. I don’t know if it’s for football or wrestling, but she’s expecting you to be her personal trainer.
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If this is what she did for a living, she seemed to have better business acumen than her sister.
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Dear Homer,
I can only imagine what she’s hanging over the balcony. LOL. Don’t know about the Eagles song but this put me in mind of Jim Croce’s “Roller Derby Queen.” ¡Viva Carlotta!
Shalom,
M. Wanda Wisoff-Fields
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Good advice!
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Carlotta sounds like a cool gal, I’m heading over.
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Bravo Russell!! Haha! Carlotta knows how to have a good time and doesn’t take herself nearly as seriously as that stick in the mud sis of hers!
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Yes, the girl just wants to have fun.
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Wicked funny!!!! But I guess that was the whole idea… 😀
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Great flash – loved the end line.
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You had me at “linebacker figure”. 🙂 I try never to miss your stories.
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Great story Russell, I’m still chuckling at your last line
Great humour, enjoyed reading this
Dee
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I wonder if a dress will pull the suitors in. Great story and lots of fun.
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Russell I know we can’t vote and probably shouldn’t, but I have to say I think is my favorite of the week. Carlotta is having alotta fun. i know, that was so bad, but I just couldn’t help writing it!
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Thanks for the kind words, Joe. I appreciate you stopping by and leaving a comment.
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