What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
blunder grill
Evidently, the average American television viewer is enthralled by all things Redneck. The satellite airwaves are filled with reality shows of southern folks wrestlin’ gators, whittling duck calls, and surviving months in the wilderness on two cans of potted meat, eight ounce of grits, and a fifth of rot-gut whiskey.
Those with necks of other colors (including blue-bloods) are fascinated by the determination, ingenuity, and bathing habits of the simple-minded Redneck. Have you ever wondered why there are no shows featuring Yankees doing dumb stuff? That’s because they lack the creative flair and daredevil attitude to start a sentence with, “Hold my beer while I . . .”
If you are new to Friday Flash Fiction, the head chef in charge of menu creations is Sunny-Side -Up Wisoff-Fields. To learn how to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF “Menu of Authors” click here.
Bubba got elected to congress on the Aginner ticket, vowing to oppose any legislation involving change.
Celeste came to Washington in pursuit of wealth. She was young, beautiful, educated, and most of all—willing. Her part-time job at the Union Station gift shop paid only a pittance, but provided exposure to potential Sugar Daddies.
Two bites into his Cowboy Burger, Bubba saw a young woman clutch her throat, gasping for air. He rushed over and applied the famous hind-lick maneuver. An olive shot from the throat of the startled girl.
It was a life changing event for both of them.
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With college football season starting this weekend you’ll need plenty of food.
Here’s something that’s sure to be a hit at your tailgate party.
22 Comments on “blunder grill”
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What's So Funny? 
Wish the video showed Bubba’s “hind-lick” martini olive dislodging maneuver instead. Now I need to scarf a roll of Tums just looking at bologna bowls.
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This is a PG rated blog, so you’ll have to use your imagination. I just wish I’d been there to hold his beer while he performed the procedure.
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Hi Russell,
I think not only are us Southerners backwards, ignert, and inbred, we’re also proud of it. I don’t see much humility on all those redneck reality shows. I think your story this week may have been an actual bio-epic on Bill Clinton. I’d right more, but my lunch of potted meat and bbq vienny sausages is in the trough. Ron
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oh, to have seen the hind-lick in process!! Now THAT would have been good reality TV 😉
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Great story, and the recipe is priceless! How the heck did he discover that bologna will curl up like that? Forget it, I don’t want to know….
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‘..hind-lick maneuver.’ – such a great image, but I’m glad I didn’t have to witness it. I hope these two will be very happy together.
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Now if Bubba caught that there olive between his teeth, that would have really been something to see….
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Just another jolly moment at the old Blunder Bar and Grill. If only we could watch them all…
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The two strippers at my bachelor party did the hind lick on each other while the boys caught the ping pong balls. Good stuff. Yankee’s do stupid things like move down south….LOL
All good.
Tom
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I’ve always suspected Yankees do stupid stuff too. They just ain’t figured out how to make a career of it.
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Dear Russell,
I loved your story, intro and all and the Bare Nekked Chef vid too. You have captured the spirit of the south in your writing. Do you know the Heineken maneuver? (I don’t know, looks like he’s chokin’. Guess I’ll have me another beer.)
Aloha,
Doug
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We cain’t eben say Hiney-kin, but I’ll hold your beer while you try.
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Dear Bubba,
The video left me speechless, if not nauseated. I feel like I’ve just been to Arkansas where many family trees don’t fork. Funny stuff as always. I’m never disappointed. Think I’ll go get me a beer.
Shalom y’all,
Sunny-Side-Up
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Get one for me while you’re at it.
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I agree with Doug – your entire set up gives a richness to the story and makes the key maneuver (the hind- lick!) have even greater impact on the reader. Almost like getting hit square in the eye with a gin soaked olive.
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oh god, i hope i never choke infront of that guy. that’s a first meeting they’ll never forget, a story to tell the grandkids ^^ hilarious, as always 🙂
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You have to give Bubba credit. He’s a man who’s willing to do whatever it takes to save someone from choking.
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hind lick maneouvre – you have me in stitches every week. 🙂
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That’s hilarious. I think the words “hope” and “change” have been anathema in some areas of the country now. Although I’d hope not.
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You had me at “Hold my beer”.
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A great story… life changing indeed, and for such a pittance 🙂
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Oh, Russell, you’re crazy! LOL
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