Russell Gayer, author speaker
Poetry, Horror, Psychological Thrillers
Stories From Within
Finding ways to make words sparkle
This is the blog of a woman who is seriously on the edge and I mean right ON the edge…no, not there… just a little bit further… further than that…no, further still…just a tiny bit more… just move slightly to the right a little…no, that’s too much…just move a tad to the left…that’s right, just there…now you’ve moved too far to the left… Damn, what part of the ‘on the edge’ do you not understand? Oh, and her matricidal boy genius, come devil spawn.
Or the three people I guilted into reading this blog, whatever.
Growing older is inevitable. Growing up is optional.
I may make you feel, but I can't make you think.
All the Blogging That's Fit To Print
AS I TOLD THE GIRL THAT I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO, THANKS FOR LAUGHING AT ME HERE TODAY.
A Humor Blog
Stylistically Abusing Language for the Betterment of Mankind
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An author's perspective of mystery and more.
And the worst things. And all that weird stuff in between.
Of course, this story is all accordion to you! Are you going to OWL in Nov.? I’m going to make a guest appearance (Well, I’m going with Rochelle and Kent, and trying to figure out whom I might get to meet.)
I’ll look for the skunk cover. I hope it won’t be dead in the middle of the road!
janet
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I’d love to make it to OWL, but grandson turns 6 on the 15th, so the odds of me making it to Branson are slim. We might come up for the Friday night event as it’s only an hour and a half from home. I’d love to meet you in person!
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Either way, you’ll be having fun.
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Trixie’s sooo disappointed. (
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Too bad YouTube took down that Moonshine Barrel Polka video with all those church ladies bopping with their hymnals. But I appreciate that you illustrated this post with such an inspired alternative you skunk-living rascal.
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I was shattered too, so I had to go with my 2nd choice. Do you have skunks in Central Park? Obviously not as many as Washington D.C., but you’re bound to have a few stinkers.
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Do we have skunks on Manhattan island! Last week a guy standing next to me on a crowded uptown express 2 train reeked of one. Or maybe it was his coat. Or his aftershave.
http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/uptown/skunks-rock-heights-article-1.1469007
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We are on the same track this week, Russell, although I haven’t released my story yet. I saw a squeezebox too, not a disassembled keyboard, and wrote accordingly. (accordioningly?) But I think I stick out like someone wearing shoes at a cow patty stomping contest because I don’t have a clue about the Moonshine Barrel Polka. But love the Who here. Or here, Who?
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I love to hear the Who too. I don’t suppose they have much moonshine in Quaker country. By the way, do you live near the guy on the oatmeal box?
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Dear Rocky,
Thanks for the anniversary encouragement. I still have that joy buzzer, but you’ll have to make to OWL at the same time to get it back.
Another gem. Can’t wait for the scent of your bestseller. I have a can of Febreeze at the ready.
Shalom,
Trixie
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PS My nickname at work is “Rocky”
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Dear Russell,
Have you ever noticed how alike yours and Rochelle’s names are? You might be next in the driver’s seat. Then we can call you Trixie.
Great story, Sir. have fun at OWL.
Aloha,
Doug
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No, thanks. I’d have my bus driver license suspended after one week. Just call me Ed Norton.
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I can’t wait for those “specially scented hard copy version” and to “experience the world’s first olfactory thriller”
As usual, i found your introduction so hilarious. 🙂
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Hi Russell,
I’m going to have to side with Pa on this one, even if squeeze and a blonde’s chest does conjure up a pleasant thought. Glad you survived in the woods. It’s open season on hunters and I hear they’re pretty good eating. Taste just like Tyson chicken. Ron
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Who ever told you that is sadly misinformed, Ron. The chickens go through a couple of baths and are very clean. I’m not sure you could wash the smell off most hunters, especially those who catch skunks.
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Pretty funny – although I always hated that image – I won’t go into it now, of the squeeze box. I know it had it roots in Bayou Blues, so that hill billy best be picking up the mandolin, right, white boy? oops, However, your little Who video is a flash from the past…Now, they really were white boys. As far as Ron above is concerned, he’s right, deep fired hunter is pretty good eating! Also, just warmed up and buttered….
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There’s also a song about Buttered Buns, but I won’t go there 🙂
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You’re still squeezing out the laughs, Russell 🙂 cute story!
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Good one! I love this song!
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That’s awesome. That’s one resourceful guy.
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well, i liked that he didn’t mind sticking out like a sore thumb, and in the end, he rocked. also couldn’t help but laugh at the different names you give Rochelle every week ^^
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Oh first bag-pipes and now accordion.. … funny as always, and I’ll get me a copy of that book … great christmas gift for some relatives of mine,,,
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I couldn’t stop laughing, Russell. You’re such a hoot. Trixie now?! I think I remember that one. Your story is really brilliant. I like the keyboard used for the accordion and your dialogue is fabulous. The video was hilarious. I’ve had a good time here at your blog!
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Thanks, Amy. I appreciate the kind words.
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Very entertaining piece, sir.
AnElephant loves it.
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More than one way to skin a skunk? You are a man of many talents, Russell. It should be easy to find that book at Barnes and Noble! Maybe you could play the accordion for us at your book signing.
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A blind man should be able to find that book 🙂 Just don’t judge a book by it’s odor.
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This is the second story I have read that tagged The Who; what’s up with that?
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Russell! Bravo! This was as entertaining and fun as all get out! I really hope your serious about your skunk book! The concept alone would sell millions . . . thousands? Hundreds? A buck forty? And I am a huge Columbo fan and speaking as an expert watcher of the show, Marriet Hartely is a lousy belling dancer.
And finally, attaching a keyboard to a old blacksmith’s bellows is about the smartest thing I ever did hear of!
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