What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Open House
As a kid, I watched The Rocky & Bullwinkle Show religiously. What a great cast of characters, especially Boris and Natasha. One of my favorite segments was “Fractured Fairy Tales.” At the time, I never thought about the writers who created the story line, but looking back, I realize what a sick bunch of twisted individuals they must have been, and the impact they had on my young, impressionable mind.
Now, it’s fifty years later and you poor souls (my faithful readers) are being exposed to the fallout from the nuclear explosions that happened in my brain so long ago. I’m not apologizing, mind you, just a little background information for those of you who studied psychology in college.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the Fairy Godmother of our weekly tales is Queen Lurline Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
“Hello, I’m calling about the cottages for rent.”
“Yes, Ma’am. We have two units available.”
“Where are they located?”
“These are portable units. You can lease a space from us, or set them up on your own lot.”
“They sound nice, but I’m a single mother with a large family. I’m not sure I can afford it.”
“Don’t worry Ma’am. There’s government funding available to help elderly women in your situation, and the more children the better.”
“My kids won’t eat their broth. Any suggestions?”
“Spank them soundly and put ‘em to bed.”
“Shoe Apartments sounds like a perfect fit.”
34 Comments on “Open House”
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What's So Funny? 
Hi Russell,
No need to apologize to me. Like you, I was a fan of Rocky and Bullwinkle and also Fractured Fairy Tales. I still like to write parody. So we are completely simpatico in this area. As for your story this week, if the shoe fits . . . Ron
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Russell, I would like to join. Mike has a URL and I’ve already written a 100 word story. If this is right – and you did ask me to join – I would LOVE it! Thanks, Reply if you want. Nan
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That would be cool, Nan. Go to Rochelle’s site (Queen Lurline link above). Her instructions will walk you through it step by step. Be sure and add your link on the InLinkx page (the little blue critter) so that others can click on it and be led to your story.
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Oh boy! Russell, it’s way too early in the morning for me to be groaning in agony. You truly are a master of the unexpected. I also loved Rocky and Bullwinkle and Fractured Fairy Tales. The Fairy Book Master would be proud of you 🙂
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“Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!” “Sorry, wrong hat.” That’s what my life has been like too. I think in some ways watching Rocky and Bullwinkle was meant to prepare us for life far better than Captain Kangaroo ever did. And R & B influenced so much that came after. Think Peabody and Sherman where the dog is the smart one and then fast forward to Peter Griffin and Brian. Now for your fractured fairy tale, Russell, don’t refer to any character as elderly who’s probably younger than us! Or me anyway. I’m not ready for Shoe Apartments. Unless they have the Hallmark Channel.
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I contemplated using the word “senior” instead of elderly. I know you prefer the term “boomer,” but it doesn’t roll off the tongue well when you say, “There was a boomer who lived in a shoe.”
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Dear Bullwinkle,
Don’t forget Dudley Doright and Little Nell. “Get Moose and Squirrel.” I’ll take an apartment in a size 15 D width. “Illie beanie, chili beanie, the spirits are about to speak.”
Thanks for the trip down memory lane. Another R & B fan here. I hear the voice of Edward Everett Horton now. Ahhhhhhh.
Shalom,
Queen Lurline or “Your Majesty” will suffice. 😉
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Don’t forget Snidely Whiplash. What an outstanding name for a villain.
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I always preferred Boris and Natasha to Rocky and Bullwinkle. I quite enjoyed your fractured fairy tale.
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Thank you, Adam. And thanks for the photo. All I could think of when I saw it was The Old Woman Who Lived In a Shoe, so I ran with it.
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Hello, remember me, black Celestine from way down Africa? I’m lost here. But not so lost that I cannot appreciate your story. A great one! 🙂 Incidentally, there is a nice nursery rhyme in one of our local dialects based on ‘The Old woman who Lived in the Shoe.’!!!
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I sure do, thanks for stopping by. You may not be familiar with Rocky & Bullwinkle, but I’m glad you recognized where I was going with the nursery rhyme.
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Another fun trip down memory lane! Bullwinkle for President!
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Oh, Patti. You’re much too young to remember those cartoons. I did have a beer in a bar called Bullwinkle’s in Minneapolis once. He gets my vote.
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Well, I’m not as old as you and Perry. ;p
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My apartment is about the size of a sneaker, Russell.
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Rocky and Bullwinkle – ah, how I loved that show! Rocket J. Squirrel – lol. Wasn’t there a boy named Sherman and a dog named Professor Peabody? And what about the way-back machine… or something similar. Thanks for a ‘blast from the past’ – good memories of sitting in front of the parents’ old black-and-white TV with my kid sister. It was always fun to hiss at Snidely Whiplash!
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Love the reference to the fairy tale. This was clever and a lot of fun!
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Another clever one, Russell. I bet the old woman just put them to bed because she didn’t know what to do! I don’t remember all the names mentioned here, but they sure are great ones!
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That’s exactly why she put them to bed. I bet it got loud inside that shoe.
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Though am not familiar with this show(American?) I did come across the phrase “fractured fairy-tale” this very week in one of the entries and looked it up.However,being fed nursery rhymes in my childhood and later feeding them in turn to my daughter made me see the picture perfectly and enjoy this tale thoroughly dear Russel-thanks for the laughs,as always:-)
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Good. I’m glad it worked for you.
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🙂
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🙂 Don’t forget the Roadrunner and not-so-Wiley Coyote for those of us prone to violence.
janet
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lol nice one! that nursery rhyme was one of my faves. enjoyed this. being a twisted individual myself, i love love love fractured fairy tales, Russel… in fact, i have one for you – http://hellnotes.com/horror-in-a-hundred-little-girls-games-by-k-z-morano hope you like it 🙂
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That was a hellicious little tale. I always felt for the villain in these stories.
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me too.. thanks for reading it 🙂
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“Spank them soundly and put them to bed.” Those were the days! 😉
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Indeed!
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Love it. A lesson in show not tell.
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You and I were of a similar mindset this week, nursery rhymes/fairy tales. I enjoyed your take on the prompt. Living in a shoe sounds better in your story. “The more children the better,” no one has ever been accused of saying that, I think. 🙂
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Funny! I like it – a touch of hunour for my fist week on FF.
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Nan Claire Duggar Falkner, Funny Funny. Ann
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Thanks for sharing – that was neat -fun to shop there
Quoting Ann James :
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