What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
For Whom the Bell Clangs
This has been an interesting week. I’ve had more stuff throw at me than Bill Clinton at a sorority panty raid. Now that you have that visual image in your head imagine this; when I opened my email Monday morning the first thing that caught my eye was a message from Tales From the South informing me that my recent submission had been selected for their upcoming road show at Arts Center of the Ozarks on Sunday March 16th (color me elated!).
Then I got a packet from Pen-L Publishing regarding a marketing plan for my book, which means we’re moving closer to a release day. ~ I think April Fool’s Day would be appropriate, how about you?
Lastly, our core team from work has spent all week training on a new software system. This may sound like a nightmare for those who have suffered through such an experience, but getting this program is something I’ve been dreaming of for twenty years and to see it finally come to fruition is quite gratifying.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the driving instructor for our vehicle of entertainment is Coach “Get-it-Write” Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
Morris Gump was nothing like his older brother, Forest. He lingered in the shadows for years while his brother became a football star, a war hero, and CEO of a thriving seafood business.
Despite the natural sibling rivalry, he secretly envied Forest for cashing in on his ignorance. Things started looking up when a TV producer proclaimed Morris “sharp as a marble,” but the reality show failed miserably.
“Morris,” said Mama, “For some people life is like a box of chocolates, but for most it’s like a box of Ex-Lax. No matter which square you eat everything turns to poo.”
35 Comments on “For Whom the Bell Clangs”
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What's So Funny? 
It sounds like everything is turning into chocolate for you this week, Russell. Congratulations! I can always say I knew you when were yet another yarn spinner on the web. What exactly is happening at this event on March 16th? I clicked the link and wasn’t sure what I was looking at and all I’ve been quaffing tonight is spring water.
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Tales From the South is a weekly radio show that airs on NPR. It’s normally recorded at the Starving Artist Cafe in North Little Rock. This marks the 2nd time they’ve taken the show “on the road.” The show will start with live music (blues) followed by 4 or 5 writers reading their stories. From what I understand, the program airs around the globe in 88 countries.
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Whoa, that’s great Russell! Your dulcet tones are going global!
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Poor Morris. But lucky you! Glad things are going so swimmingly for you!!!!!
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Hahahahahaha! Smooth move for Morris. Like the plumbers say, “Everybody else’s %#*& is my bread and butter.”
I’m sure, though, Russell, you’ll be mining for GOLD instead. Congratulations all-around, man! “Cuzzin’ Shelly” will undoubtedly drop by to say same to you.
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Very Humorous. And congratulations regarding your writings.
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Congratulations Russell on all your successes. This story was again hilarious and especially well done. It’s no wonder you’re doing so well.
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Bravo Russell! You are so very clever – and Mike & I are so proud of you! Thanks for letting me know about this club. By the way, I love Morris, sharper than a marble! Where do you come up with these million-dollar phrases? Tell Connie Hi. WONDERFUL and Congratulations! You deserve it. 🙂
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You have found your niche with this group. I love your stories.
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Well done Russell! Can’t wait to see your book in print – or in electronic particles, which ever form it will take. And for the road show triumph. Oh poor Morris, you have to feel sorry for him, his Mama should have kept the Ex-Lax in a locked cupboard. “Sharp as a marble”? Hmmm…
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The book will be available in both print and eBook format. I’m a little anxious myself.
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Dear Morris,
I’ll never look at Forest the same way again. Sounds like bells an whistles going off for you in the publishing realm. Yay!
My father used to say “Sharp as a matzo ball.” As always I exit laughing.
Shalom,
Coach GIW
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I love “sharp as a marble” and all the rest. Congrats on all your accomplishments!!
janet
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Thanks, Janet. Like they say here in Arkansas, “even a blind hog finds an acorn once in a while.”
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I like your version…Morris Gump. ha, ha.
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Those are some wise words. I don’t think I’ll ever forget them in fact, although if I use it at parties, I’ll be sure to credit you. 🙂
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LOL this was too funny. momma’s advice was pretty hard to swallow. but damn, that was clever. CONGRATULATIONS, Russell! Well-deserved.
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Congrats, Russell;. You really are having a chocolate week. I really like Mama’s advice though. Sad, but that is also part of life.
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Lol, I laughed out loud, love it 🙂
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You are a riot. Congrats on all your doings.
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Funny story, Russell. It proves you’re channelling Forest here rather than Morris.
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Sharp as a marble…ha ha. That’s very clever, Russell. Congrats on all your good news!! I couldn’t be happier for you.
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Great news for you, Russell–for Morris, not so. Congratulations!
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Congrats on your flying high Russel:-) As always,you made me laugh with your fun take on the prompt 😀
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Morris Gump deserves his own Wiki page or an Uncyclopedia entry. Made me laugh.
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What a w9onderful week, well deserved. I believe it was you that laughed at me when I used poo in one of my stories? No shit. 😉
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I know, I debated whether to use the acronym for Ship High In Transit, but wimped out. After all, this is a PG rated blog.
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Lol..I wouldn’t use it in mine either., I am much more brazen in your comments 🙂
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Russel, first: MAZEL! What a glorious week for you. I’m so happy that things are going so brightly! Wow. This story is absolutely delightful! I don’t laugh out loud easily, with reading… on the last line, I truly chuckled. I would not have been able to resist saying: No matter which square you eat everything turns to *shit*,” but you nailed it. Mama would certainly say “poo,” and that made me lol. Bravo!
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Poo-r Morris… loved story… and congratiolation for a great week…
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A wise mother. Congratulations on your successes.
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I’m new here, but I’m really happy to hear about your upcoming book. That’s so exciting. And congrats on having your work selected for the radio program. Will you be able to post a clip to your blog?
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Yes, there’s usually a YouTube video of each writer reading their story. Here’s the link to one of my previous readings on Tales From the South http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jm3KRXBzem4
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Everything turns to poo! How true, this had me laughing out loud on the inside 🙂
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It sounds like everything is coming up acorns for you!
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