What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
G-String Boogie
One of the interesting things about playing in a band is the people (and behavior) you see on the dance floor. Mix one part pounding beat with four parts alcohol and inhibitions waltz right out the door. What’s left resembles the mating ritual of flightless birds as they attempt to entice a mate prior to breeding season.
Once the birds were paired up, we slowed the tempo and played what we referred to as “belly-rubbin’ music.” These slow, romantic dances generated a great deal of body contact between the participants including groping and bumping of beaks. After which, many of the pairs would immediately leave the club in search of nesting grounds.
Occasionally, a couple of the males would get their feathers ruffled while in competition over a female with particularly attractive plumage. Sometimes a third male would swoop in and steal the prize while these two idiots battled for testosterone supremacy.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the conductor of this Orchestra of Keyboard Clickers is Maestro WillamenaWisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
Eureka Springs, AR – Police and emergency personnel responded to a 911 call last night at the Rowdy Beaver on Hwy 62. One of the patrons collapsed on the dance floor and appeared to stop breathing.
“It was scary,” said bartender, Anita Drink. “The band was going into the chorus of Mustang Sally when this guy went down like he’d been shot with a gun.”
Evidence collected at the scene indicates the guitar player may have been responsible for the incident.
“It was an accident,” swears guitarist, Fret Boardman. “I hit C-major and Bam!—down he went—struck by a chord.”
40 Comments on “G-String Boogie”
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What's So Funny? 
Reading the intro, you very easily could have written for Hawkeye on M*A*S*H. But, I digress …
I love that guitar man’s name — Fret Boardman. Classic! Fun stuff again, Russell. Six guitar strings!
I saw the website for The Beav — place looks cool and the food looks terrific!
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It’s a fun place, Kent. They also have one in Branson.
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I’ll look it up. I’d like to go!
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Dear Russell,
Let’s meet there.
Another classic from you and the band, man. Good job.
Can’t wait to meet Anita.
Aloha,
Doug
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I hear she’s coming to a bar near you soon.
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Dear Russell and Doug,
I have it on good authority that Anita has reserved a special corner table just for you. Save a chair for me.
Shalom,
Willamena
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You’ve done it again, Russell. Hilarious. XD The Rowdy Beaver sounds like it really rocks. Do they make their own special house beverage nearby? Also, that’s the first time that I’ve ever heard of death by chord. XD
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I have a feeling his injuries were only minor. Next time he won’t stand right in front of the amplifier.
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The Rowdy Beaver is a real place? I think Anita Drink too!
Great story, and love the title 🙂
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Yes, the Rowdy Beaver is so popular it has multiple locations AND you can buy your very own Rowdy Beaver t-shirt too.
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Oh dear! Russell, it’s too early in the morning (5:30) to be LOLing 😀 Yep, I agree with Kent, you could have written the intro as one of Hawkeye’s monologues. Your chosen character names – in both the intro and the story – are impeccable as ever.
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It’s never too early to laugh, Lyn. I’m glad your day started off with a smile.
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very funny. been engaged from the first sentence to last. well done. 🙂
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Love the intro, and the names, and the terrible pun at the end, Russell. You’re on form this week, again!
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Thank you, Jenn. I started with the last four words and worked backwards this week.
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Anita Drink? There’s the chick for me! And the Rowdy Beaver sounds like a place you and me should go to. I’m sure if we hung out with Fret Boardman, we could get his spillover! Very fun this week, Russell, and also love the scholarly dissertation on bird mating rituals as well.
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I think you’d like Rowdy Beaver, Perry. Maybe you could talk the owner into opening one in Havertown.
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boy, anita drink! was having a bad day, so thanks for the laugh 🙂 🙂
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See, I can write scary stuff too.
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Dear Fret,
Sounds like a fun place. I want a T-Shirt. Love your intro. I leave laughing as always.
Shalom,
Willamena
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Music that kills… interesting concept. When I saw the song, “Mustang Sally”, I instantly thought it was some erotic experience that killed him…but a C-major chord… hahahaha that was perfect! 🙂
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I love the names (and the rest), but I thought I’d read the story before I finished the intro. 🙂
janet
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Well, you know me, Janet. I just don’t know when to quit typing.
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Russell, you never cease to amaze me! Anita drink every afternoon at half past 4 (I fudge a little). Your story is so clever and there is a bar there called the Rowdy Beaver. Who went down on the floor – anyone I know? Tell your upper-class other half hi for us! Nan 🙂
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The name has been withheld to protect the innocent.
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Russell, this was a real treat to wake up to. And I love the piece before it – dancing like mating birds, the fights, the nesting. Thanks.
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Glad you enjoyed it, Alicia.
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I own a hoodie sweatshirt from The Rowdy Beaver! Probably not appropriate attire for work?
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Nah, more of a pub crawl shirt. Thanks for commenting, Lindy.
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Anita Drink! rofl Bartending must have been her calling in life. As usual, a lovely introduction to your lively FF story.
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I’d say she was born to pour.
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I didn’t notice the first read that I could click on Rowdy Beaver and bring up their website. I thought it was a fictional place until I thought about the other comments and went back to read it again. That place looks great, especially the food!
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Yes, their food is good and so is the music.
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Killed by a chord.. that has to send a dischord into the music industry.. thank your for the recommendation for a place to hange out.
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LOL! I think you’ve just put the real fun in bar hopping. Thinking up names for the patrons. We need a hashtag twitter game!
And I agree with Kent. You could have written for Hawkeye Pierce. Or should I say Cock-eyee Pierce.
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Bartender; Anita Drink…slap my knee!
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What’s music without the dancing?! Am I right, Russell? I love your choice of names. Ha ha. Watching the mating ritual on the dance floor can be uncomfortable!
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HI there 🙂 i am nominating you for the sunshine award For more details, please view this post http://twenty1619.wordpress.com/ 🙂
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The poor guitar player, getting blamed for the incident 😉
Great read as always
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Thanks, Siobhan. He appreciates your support.
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