What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Spin Cycle
This weekend, I’ll be rubbing elbows with talented writers, editors, and publishers at the 48th Annual Ozark Creative Writers Conference in Eureka Springs.
I think I’ll go incognito and dress as Hemingway, Faulkner, or Stephen King. They seem to have grown tired of my impersonation of Jackie Collins, except for that one guy who keeps pinching my rear.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the ring leader of our Merry-Go-Round of stories is Nell Fenwick Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
Reginald Hansen twisted one end of his handlebar moustache. This had become an auto-reflex when he was deep in thought—and lately he’d been thinking a lot.
A notorious liar, his mother urged him to take advantage of his talent and sell used cars. His father, a banker, insisted he study law and become a politician.
Defying them both, Reggie ran away to join the carnival. Normally, he worked as a barker, convincing people to play for stuffed animals in a rigged game.
Tonight, he’d check another item off his bucket list. So what if it was a kiddie ride. (100 words)
___________________________________________________
What happens next? You pick the ending. Does Reggie,
- Tie a girl to the railroad tracks
- Make-out with the Bearded Lady in the Tunnel of Love
- Pee in someone’s popcorn
61 Comments on “Spin Cycle”
I'd love to hear from you
Purchase ‘One Idiot Short of a Village’
Purchase ‘The Perils of Heavy Thinking’
What's So Funny? 
#3 goes with your track record of “bodily functions” in a story, so it may be the ideal choice….but #2 goes with the character 🙂 Fun story!
LikeLike
Hehe, it appears you have a built in sensor for the bodily functions in my stories. I was really leaning toward using #1, but hit the word limit. You’re right, #2 does fit the character.
LikeLike
I’m sure that’s cheating! 😉
Good piece.
LikeLike
All’s fair in love, war, and 100 word flash fiction. Want some popcorn?
LikeLiked by 1 person
No, can I have the bearded lady instead?
LikeLike
Sure, but don’t smear her lipstick.
LikeLike
Dear Dudley,
Now I’m twice as sad that I’m not able to attend the conference this year. 😥
I go for tied the girl to the railroad track. (I’m outta here!)
He would make a good politician at that.
I will miss you this weekend. Give Snidley Whiplash my regards.
Shalom,
Little Nell
LikeLike
Dear Nell,
I was hoping to see you in Eureka Springs. Please stay as far from the train tracks as possible as Horse will be unavailable to save you this weekend. Snidely is reportedly heading your way.
Your Royal Canadian Pain-in-the-rear,
Dudley Do-no-Right
LikeLike
Hilarious, Russell. I thought you might say, “He decided to become a writer.l” If you lie and you’re a writer it makes you a better writer, because with fiction you’re making things up anyway. Who could tell the difference. I would say that either #1 or #3 fits the character best. I’ll prorbably think of #3 every time I see buttered popcorn now. 😦 Well done. 😀 — Suzanne
LikeLike
I don’t think anyone decides to become a writer, Suzanne. It’s more of a curse.
Right now, the popcorn ending is in the lead. Let’s see if it can hold up.
LikeLike
All of the above, Russ. Have a great time at the conference.
janet
LikeLike
It’s always fun. I look forward to this one every year.
LikeLike
What’s unusual about making out with a bearded lady? I’ve seen some of your blind dates. But I think the answer is 3) Pee in someone’s popcorn. I’m sure it tastes better than that buttery stuff they put in popcorn anyway. Think I’ll order that way from now on.
LikeLike
I think you’re going to have to fight Mick for the bearded lady. With your dating record, getting anyone to go inside the Tunnel of Love is a challenge. There are not a whole lot of blind, deaf/mute girls attending the carnival this year, so your picking are going to be slim.
Just wait until you hear what Reggie did with the candy apples.
LikeLike
What if he increased the spin rate of the carousel to such a speed that it forced all wallet shaped objects to be sucked into an internal spinning vortex that led to his wagon/caravan? Make it an adults only ride and ply them with sly grog before they take a ride 😉
LikeLike
That sounds pretty complicated, Lyn. It made my head spin just reading it. I would take a swig of that grog if you have any left.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sorry Russell, Feds just confiscated the rest 😦
LikeLike
Reginald strikes me as the wanna be lover not a fighter type. So, I’ll go with choice two, Reginald in the tunnel with the bearded lady. How’s that for a game of clue(less)? I hope the conference is all it’s cracked up to be.
LikeLike
Right you are, Honie. He doesn’t call himself “Hot Lips Hansen” for no reason. I hope she doesn’t give him whisker burns.
LikeLiked by 1 person
1 and 2 might be bad for his career if he intends to become a politician. Hilarious as usual 🙂
LikeLike
So, you vote for3? Want some popcorn?
LikeLike
I say ‘none of the above’ 🙂
LikeLike
I think he nearly made-out with the Bearded Lady in the Tunnel of Love. It was a close shave.
LikeLike
Oh, you don’t see him going all the way?
LikeLike
Definitely the bearded lady. He’s got game.
LikeLike
And swagger
LikeLike
Anything except the last. Popcorn’s fattening. Enjoy your conference.
LikeLike
I think option 1 would be to your liking, Sandra. Murder on the Kiddie Train Express
LikeLiked by 1 person
That was funny and very imaginative! I’d choose # 2.
LikeLike
Good choice. I hear bearded ladies are great kissers
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha! What’s a little facial hair between friends?
LikeLike
How true
LikeLike
I think the bearded lady would be a great option… But in the end why not banking? I think he would come out honest in comparison
LikeLike
True. It appears there would be an unlimited number of career options for someone with his skill sets.
LikeLike
That’s a story with a nasty undertone. Well written even though it#s not the laugh we usually get from you!
LikeLike
As a writer, sometimes you hit a home run, sometimes you’re lucky to get a bunt single.
LikeLike
I’d go for #2. Good thing I’m not fond of popcorn though, it’s hard to get that possibility out of my mind. Reggie has yet a career as insurance salesman ahead of him.
LikeLike
True, although I think he would have been a natural at selling used cars.
LikeLiked by 1 person
i guess none of the above. he just wanted to be taken for a ride. 🙂
LikeLike
That’s a possibility, but I think he rather take someone else for a ride.
LikeLike
Such a fun story, Dudley! And I’m going for number 2… the others are far too concerning. 😉
LikeLike
Even that one’s a little strange, but hey, it’s his bucket list. Who are we to judge?
LikeLike
Gotta be #2 – We’re all hanging out for the steamy follow up story, the sticky cotton candy kisses, the suggestive corn-dogs, the erotic tangling of facial hair…
Wait…people don’t want this?
Ah, yeah. Me either.
KT
LikeLike
You paint quite a visual image there, KT. Although, I’m not sure everyone wants to see it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Laughing, as usual… I think you and the Bearded Lady would make a lovely couple…
LikeLike
Me? I quite content with Connie’s smooth face. Now, if I can just get her on the boat ride through the Tunnel of Love.
LikeLike
I’ll go for #3 Russell. I think this guy is in it for kicks! #1 seems too severe for him. So #2 is my second choice. It’s the kind of thing that probably happens eventually with the carnival. Fun read. I hope you have a wonderful time at the conference!
LikeLike
It’s certainly fun to provide options and let the reader choose how they want the story to end. Originally, I was headed for number one. I could see this guy as a Snidely Whiplash character, which didn’t really fit with what I try to provide each week. The other two options provided the flexibility for a humorous twist.
LikeLike
Is the bearded lady dressed like Jackie Collins? 😉 Beware men with handlebar mustaches at the conference, they may have an agenda! Have a great time, it sounds like fun. Great take on the prompt, as always!
LikeLike
There were a lot of romance writers at the conference, but none would confess to having a bearded lady in their novels–not even the writers with handlebar mustaches.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t think the handlebar mustache goes with the railway tracks, nor with peeing – ever, so I’ll opt for making out with the bearded lady. Hope the mustache doesn’t get caught up in the beard.
LikeLike
He keeps it waxed. There may be a little slip-sliding, but tangle free.
LikeLike
It’s all been said, RG. I enjoyed it immensely but I always enjoy what you write for these prompts.
Your great … no one said that. 😁Enjoy the conference … and … have a great week !!!
Isadora 😎
LikeLike
Thanks for the kind words, Isadora. I had a great time at the conference and even won a couple of contests.
LikeLiked by 1 person
oooopppsss …that shoud be – you’re great. There might be a spell checker behind that mask.
lol
LikeLike
That happens to me all the time. Usually, I wind up leaving out word and the sentence sounds like it was written by an illiterate child.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😄😄😄
LikeLike
#2 Seems the least likely for any permanent damage.
LikeLike
I don’t know, the popcorn might seem a little salty, but after a couple of beers . . . .
LikeLiked by 1 person
#3 all day!
LikeLike
Gee, that beard thing sure is tough! 🙂
LikeLike