What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Finding Cinderella
Rachel Crofton stopped by last week. She’s been busy editing and adding bullet points to last year’s Black Friday Shopping Tips. I will be posting those points here a few days prior to Thanksgiving for those of you willing to risk life & limb to save a dollar-two-ninety-eight.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the Trail Boss who herds these cats down the 100-word path is Rowdy Ronda Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
Joan had planned to go Christmas shopping, but a torrential downpour of sunshine forced her to abandon that notion. Besides, what would she wear?
After throwing one of her favorite slippers at a candidate during a political rally, she was down to only twenty-two pairs of shoes, none of which seemed to coordinate well with her floral moo-moo and zebra-striped purse.
Today was Friday. Her boyfriend would be coming for dinner. He wasn’t much to look at, but had a great sense of humor. Sometimes they went bowling. Tonight, she just hoped to keep his mind out of the gutter.
44 Comments on “Finding Cinderella”
I'd love to hear from you
Purchase ‘One Idiot Short of a Village’
Purchase ‘The Perils of Heavy Thinking’
What's So Funny? 
I am laughing so loudly, I’m surprised my neighbours don’t come knocking! You are more than a hoot this week, Russell!
Love this!
LikeLike
Oh, Dale. I’ll give you thirty minutes to quit saying stuff like that.
Tell the neighbors I said “Hi.”
LikeLiked by 1 person
Will do!
LikeLike
Great entertainment Russell, thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Mick.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Wishbone
Serving up more stewed bilge this week. Tasty, too. 😉
Joan certainly is the fashion maven, isn’t she? I used to live next door to a woman who wore floral moo-moos. She had to have them made by Omar the Tent-Maker. A nice coordinating zebra-striped purse is sure to match any ensemble. Well done touch of crass that just went ahead and made my day.
Shalom,
Rowdy Ronda
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Rowdy Ronda,
Joan is ready to break out and start her own fashion line. It’s debuting in Bug Tussle. She looking for models. Are you interested?
I’ll have her reserve a spot for you,
Wishbone
LikeLike
Down to twenty two pairs and nothing fits.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hate when that happens, don’t you?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Don’t ‘do’ Black Friday (well alright, sometimes from the comfort of my laptop & Jammie’s) but love the tent maker, shoe changer , laugh out loud posts!!! Thanks for the chuckle(s)
LikeLike
Thanks for stopping by, and the lovely comment. Chuckles are good.
LikeLike
Chortlability 1 Boredomosity 0
LikeLike
The score was close. I’m glad it didn’t go into overtime.
LikeLike
ha ha . Good one. Twenty two pairs aren’t sufficient to go with a moo-moo. You need to be a woman to understand the pains in coordinating outfits.
LikeLike
Perhaps polka dot house shoes would have worked, but don’t ask me. I’m not a fashion expert.
LikeLike
And once again, you make me chuckle. Thanks for that! 🙂
LikeLike
Hey, you’re my second chuckler this week. I’m on a roll.
LikeLiked by 1 person
With a girlfriend like Joan, her boyfriend would certainly need a sense of humor. She sounds like one-of- a-kind. With a floral moo-moo, can anyone see her shoes? Again hilarious and well done, Russell. The characters you’re populating the world with all seem to be one-of-a-kind types. 😀 — Suzanne
LikeLiked by 1 person
She is a one-of-a-kind, which is why he’s so infatuated with her. Girls like her don’t come along every day.
LikeLike
seriously, what gutter? he was blinded by love. and after feeding him fatty stuff, the more he couldn’t see even with his glasses on. 🙂
LikeLike
I think it’s safe to assume he’s visually impaired. Although, I don’t think he’s much of a catch either.
LikeLiked by 1 person
There’s obviously more to Joan than the floral fabric and zebra stripes would indicate. If she’s throwing shoes at politicians, she’s got depth. Thanks for the laughs.
LikeLike
Thanks for picking up on that, Margaret. More people should throw shoes at politicians.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Moo-moo’s are a bad idea at best, but with a zebra-striped purse they become the bee’s knees. Another great laugh today, Russell.
LikeLike
Bee’s knees is a new expression for me. I like it. Some girls just can’t help but make a fashion statement.
LikeLike
She is in a bit of a frock quandary, isn’t she.
So she wants him to keep his mind out of the gutter and firmly in the gutter; bad girl.
LikeLike
I think they’re both a couple of gutter balls.
LikeLike
I got a little curious about that boyfriend of hers.. wonder how he was dressed to match her..
LikeLike
I doubt he’s too fashion conscious himself. Probably wearing camo.
LikeLike
Love it! You say so much in so few words. And your mind is rarely from from the gutter.
LikeLike
This is a family-friendly blog. Sometimes I wander into PG-13 area, but I’m not aware of any youngsters that follow my work.
LikeLike
Just what coordinates with a floral moo moo and zebra-striped purse pray tell? Rain boots maybe? I can’t think of a worse outfit. Great story. So jam-packed with laughs!
LikeLike
I’m no fashion guru. Perhaps something in plaid.
LikeLike
but how does a girl succeed in keeping a boy’s mind out of gutter?
LikeLike
I have no earthly idea. Food works for short periods of time.
LikeLike
If Joan is into shoe flinging, I imagine her twenty+ pairs of shoes are all quite similar (hefty and with good aerodynamics). No wonder she had a difficult time matching a pair to her flashy mu-mu. Lots of shoes don’t mean you have variety. The shoes in my closet look depressingly similar. 😐 Purses, on the other hand (or arm) are quite a different matter. No two purses are ever alike–it’s in the Women’s Handbook (along with How to Confuse Men)!
LikeLike
Now that you mention it, I notice my wife has several pairs of footwear that are sadly similar.
It doesn’t take a whole lot to confuse us men, but sometimes you ladies take it to another level.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I imagine that some women try to befuddle their men; others of us don’t, but manage to confuse our sweethearts anyway. Oh well…
LikeLike
I hope she threw the shoe at Donald Trump. If she had thrown it at Dr. Ben Carson, he still wouldn’t have ducked yet. Her boyfriend sounds like me: not much to look at (that is, not much to look at now, because I WAS cute) but with a good sense of humor. Only thing is I can’t bowl!
LikeLike
Yes, we’ve all heard how you WERE cute, but I think that was just your grandmother talking back when you were a toddler. I’m glad you picked up on the fact that I modeled the boyfriend after you. No one said you had to be good at bowling, just help her with her shoes.
LikeLike
floral moo-moo and zebra-striped purse…yikes!
LikeLike
I hear they’re both on sale this weekend.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I wanted to comment on the shoe throwing, too, but Margaret beat me to it. This is the moment when Joan started to impress me. Then I had to look up moo moo, pictured it with a zebra purse and thought some polka dot slippers would fit nicely. Joan still impresses me, althought I admit i’m silently screaming inside, or at least my eyes do. Thanks for the good laugh.
LikeLike
I think you may be onto something with the polka-dot slippers. Yellow and black?
LikeLike