What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Stairway to Kevin
Well, it appears another Powerball drawing has come and gone without leaving me a billionaire. Too bad, cause we had already earmarked every penny for something we couldn’t live without. Plus, I spent all week polishing my letter of resignation, ready to hand it in this morning.
I guess it’s just as well. I’d hate to be saddled with the burden of wealth. Had I won, no doubt Donald Trump would be calling this morning begging me to be his running mate in November. I hate to sound shallow or vain, but I just can’t see me teaming up with someone whose hair looks like that.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, beautician who clips and details every photo prompt prior to posting is Vidal Sassoon Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the fashionable hairstyles of the writers in FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
“Hurry! Come quick. I’ve found it.” Amy struggled to catch her breath.
“You found what?” Dawn tiptoed around a broken statuary in the abandoned garden. “Another gazing globe covered in poison ivy?”
“No. The pathway to enlightenment. I knew it was here. I just knew it.”
“Are you sure it’s the right path?”
“Duh. There’s a sign on the wall next to the staircase.”
“Okay, but you know sometimes words have two meanings.”
Cautiously, the girls made their way up the winding stairs.
An old man sat slumped in an open porta-potty.
“Hi. I’m Kevin. Hope you brought some paper?”
44 Comments on “Stairway to Kevin”
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What's So Funny? 
If you were chosen as Donald Trump’s running mate , he would overshadow your sense of humour. I don’t think you can stand next to him and compete with his comedy routine. But that’s just my opinion 🙂
I didn’t expect the ending of this story…something about the word enlightenment tricked me. LOL!
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He would overshadow me in a lot of ways. Not as much physically as Chris Christie, but still an imposing figure.
You never know what you’ll find at the top of the stairs. Sometimes, what’s not there is even more telling.
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Some of us often find enlightenment in this situation!
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Dear Kevin,
I’ve heard the pathway to hell is paved with good intentions. Perhaps the stairway to Kevin is paved with something else. So is Donald Trump’s campaign trail. Only thicker and smellier.
Better luck next time with that resignation.
Shalom,
Vidal Sassoon WF
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Dear Vidal,
First of all, let me compliment you on Donald’s hair. That’s a one-of-a-kind hairstyle (thank God) that shows creativity and originality–often duped, but never duplicated. A look that only a multi-billionaire or a complete moron (but I repeat myself) would dare wear in public.
As to poor Kevin’s dilemma, Amy & Dawn must have appeared like a couple of angels sent from the White Cloud factory when they appeared at the top of the staircase. Enlightenment is never predictable.
Pass the Charmin,
Kevin
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Dear Kevin,
I’ll pass the Charmin but I’ll never squeeze it. Remember, we shall over-comb.
Vidal
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We Shall Over Comb? Cover your ears, I feel a song coming on. 🙂
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i assume he means paper to read while he’s doing his thing. 🙂
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I left that open to your interpretation.
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Yeah but no
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Oh, my, the places your mind leads you are astonishing! Another good tale
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thank you–I think. Astonishing is one of those adjectives that teeters on the brink and could go either way (like many of our politicians).
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I think life is scheduled to be one disappointment after another for Amy. Few will equal this though…. and I hope she’s the kind to carry Kleenex everywhere. Another potty tale. 🙂
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The Boy Scout motto is “always be prepared.” Amy and Dawn need to work on that. I’m surprised Dale isn’t with them.
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Where are all the Sears catalogs when you need them. Poor Kevin. He may have to use some of those garden leaves. Too bad about the drawing, but we’d hate to see all that money spoil you, Russell. Hilarious as always, and well done. 😀 — Suzanne.
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I think the only leaves within arm’s reach were poison ivy, and Kevin had been down that itchy road before.
Somehow the burden of wealth continues to evade me.
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That would definitely be reason enough for Sarah to gasp! Though I cannot believe Kevin is the whispering type…
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No, I’m surprised they didn’t hear him before they saw him.
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As the Meatloaf song says:
Stop right there, before you go any further
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I had to sit on this one for awhile, but in the end, I think everything came out okay (except that you need a quotation mark at the very beginning). Good job!
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Remember, no job is complete until you finish the paperwork.
Thanks for catching the missing quotation mark. Kevin must have been in a hurry.
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That’s probably why he didn’t check the roll before sitting. When nature dials 911, there’s no time to waste.
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Of course they’ll have paper (towels or kleenex)–that’s what handbags are for. Sheesh, men never get this. Fun story, enlightenment waits in the oddest places.
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Kevin was too embarrassed to be seen in public with his handbag, so he left it at home.
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There is a law that sbutays.. never sit down without proper paperwork… but I guess the Kevin’s of the world can always count on being saved by the Bell(e)…
Too bad I think you would have made a perfect apprentice…
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Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork, it’s always something.
Personally, I think I should get first billing instead of Donald. What’s he ever written that was funny?
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Oh lord, too funny.
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I’m not sure the Lord wants to take partial credit for this. He’s probably blushing.
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You’d think people would know by now that gurus always need TP. Then again, they are the unenlightened.
Great story. Come see mine here.
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Stairway to Kevin? Is there no end to your adorableness?
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Perry, we’re peas from the same watermelon patch. There’s no talent to my end either.
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I agree with Perry. What an adorable story! Gee, I think I have a starring role. I just have to remember to plug my nose and cover my eyes. Like how I revised Amy’s bit? If I won that jackpot, I would give everyone in the country a million dollars. I really would.
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Since you supplied the photo, I thought it was only fair you played the romantic lead in this one. Sort of like Meg Ryan in “When Harry Met Sally.” I can just hear you telling Kevin, “We got to stop meeting like this.”
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Ha ha. Thanks for the starring role! Yeah, I would say that to them at the very least. Where’s the romance, man?
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Dare I say, Russell, that, unlike Kevin, you are on a roll here.
Please remember to wash your hands afterwards.
Preferably of the whole affair.
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Good advice, C E. Try to flush this one from your mind before it’s too late.
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Sublime, Ray, sublime.
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Thanks, Felix. I’m glad it wasn’t sub-lemon.
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Hmm, I’m thinking that I have a role here along side Amy? If so, can’t imagine a better partner in crime! Just wish we had better sense than to follow those signs. Not only do I have “that” song stuck in my head now, but the imagery has burned my eyes! 😉 You are always amusing, and fun to read, Russell! Have a wonderful week!
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Breaking news, The Academy has just nominated you as Best Supporting Actress in a 100 word Flash Fiction story. Congratulations! I’m sure this will lead to greater roles in the future.
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Ironic: I spent today writing my “infamous” annual Oscar party invitation… in which I use all of the nominated films in a sentence, and do the entire 28 lines in rhyme. So, I humbly accept this nomination, and thank the Academy.
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And now I have that song in my head, which is better than the picture I have there.
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“. . . and the forest will echo with laughter.”
It is a great song. It was one of my favorites until they overplayed it on the radio and burned us all out.
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Sometimes the path not taken is not taken for a very good reason. 20-20 hindsight. 😉
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