What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Chateau de Bunny
This Saturday, I’ve been asked to give the eulogy for my high school printing instructor. I enrolled in Graphic Arts, thinking it might lead to a future where I could utilize my skill with crayons and colored markers. I soon discovered Graphic Arts was just a fancy name for printing.
It was there, in printing class, where I met the most beautiful young woman. She had long, flowing hair and a smile that could light up the entire western hemisphere. We became inseparable, and were married shortly after my nineteenth birthday. That was forty-one years ago this month.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the Sentimental Journalist who writes diary entries for fictional characters is Mad Housewife (or, MH if you dare) Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the fashionable hairstyles of the writers in FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
“Are you sure this is the right address?” Harry studied the smeared ink blots scrawled on a cocktail napkin.
“Of course it is. Honest John said it had a metal gate.” Lloyd pressed his face against the lattice and peered inside.
“It doesn’t look anything like the pictures in the magazine or on TV. You don’t think Honest John would rip us off, do you?”
“Nah. Once you walk through that front door in your smoking jacket and silk pajamas, girls will be all over you, Harry.”
“That’ll be cool. Who would’ve thought we could afford our own Playboy Mansion?”
After conferring with Perry, we decided these to rename the characters Harry & Lloyd, as this is supposed to be fiction.
48 Comments on “Chateau de Bunny”
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What's So Funny? 
Nice job Russ.
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Thanks, Nancy. We’ve told Hugh Hefner he could stay on and be our doorman.
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Happy Anniversary to you and your wife, Russell. That’s great. Good story. I loved the title. I don;t see any kind of “bunnies” around, though, human or otherwise. Hilarious. 😀 — Suzanne
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Well, this is family blog, so we’re trying to keep it clean.
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Happy anniversary! Great story. Sounds like “Honest John meets Laurel and Hardy… I mean Lloyd and Harry.”
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You should hear about the deal they got on the Grand Canyon.
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Dear Lloyd,
I fear the only bunnies they’re going to find are ones with long flowing ears. Carrot juice anyone? Better luck next time guys.
I took Graphic Arts in high school, too. All that I learned about offset lithography need not apply in this day and age, does it? At least you got Connie out of the deal.
Shalom,
MH
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Unfortunately, Offset Lithography is dying. Mr. Murphy used to say, “You’ll never get rich as a printer, but you won’t go hungry either.” That was true until about 20 years ago. Today, everything is electronic or digital print–the only exception being packaging.
That class was like a box of Cracker Jacks, and I got the prize.
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Happy Anniversary! What a lovely story about how you met your (future) wife!
Oh, and I enjoyed your story — the ending took me by surprise and brought a grin to my face.
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Yes, we were just a couple of teenagers with raging hormones (at least mine were raging).
Glad you enjoyed the unhappy ending.
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This is particularly funny after hearing the stories on NPR about good old Hugh coming with his mansion ~ which they also said is incredibly dirty. Can’t imagine. BUT I can imagine your story. Well done.
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I heard that story too. The place is pretty run down, with little or no maintenance for decades. Hugh is not getting any younger either. I saw him talking about Viagra on TV. “The greatest recreational drug ever,” according to Hugh. I’m glad you could visualize Harry and Lloyd in smoking jackets (with soap bubble coming from their plastic pipes).
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Ha, of course there are bunnies inside.. By the way, stewed rabbit is scrumptious… Maybe something to have for anniversary.
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Yosemite Sam was particularly fond of hasenpfeffer.
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Congratulations! Nineteen – that’s so romantic.
Good luck with Flopsy. Mopsy and Cotton Tail. I’ve sometimes wondered what the male equivalent of bunnies would be?
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The male equivalent would be roosters. My wife and her friend used to joke about opening such a place and calling it Peckers.
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Sorry about your instructor. Over 40 years ago, I’m sure he wasn’t young. And happy anniversary.
I’m not too sure, but I doubt if a smoking jacket and silk pajamas will entice many bunnies to their make-believe Playboy mansion….
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It’s never a good idea to buy real estate from a person named “Honest” John.
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Mr. Murphy was 80. He touch a lot of lives in a positive way.
Well, Trent, you know what they say–clothes make the man.
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80? Still too young (my parents are in their 80s). I’m sure he did touch a lot of lives – teachers and instructors do. Sorry for your loss.
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The funny thing is Harry and Lloyd have been seen around town with young beautiful girls for quite some time now. I’m still trying to figure out how Russell and I got stuck with a mortgage and two women named Madge and Ernestine who have us scrubbing floors.
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It’s because our motto is, “If at first you don’t succeed, fail, fail again.”
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Happy Anniversary Russell ! 41 years!! Connie must be a saint to put up with you… given your interest in bunnies. Nice story.
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She is a saint, and a centerfold too.
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fiction, eh? Does your printing class love know what you got up to?
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Hell if I know.
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Happy anniversary to you and Connie! You must be doing something right for her to keep you!
Fun story as well…Never trust ANYONE who puts “Honest” as their first name!
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I’ll remember that next time you try and sell me Lake Superior, Honest Dale.
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Hah!
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Nice take on the prompt. Good job.
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Thanks, Sheila. After all the hoopla about the Playbook Mansion in California being for sale, this one was easy.
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Excellent! You’re welcome.
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Happy anniversary to you and Connie! I think I once bought a car from Honest John’s brother Honest Al – an award winning car – made it to the top 10 lemons of the last 50 years.
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Honest Al, had franchises around the globe. One of his salespeople win that award every year.
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hopefully, he’s old enough but not too old enough to enjoy it. 🙂
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Whose that, Perry? He’s too old to enjoy anything, but he looks good in a smoking jacket and drool bib.
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Happy Anniversary to you and Connie! What an achievement. Just don’t deal with Honest John when you go on your celebration honeymoon!
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You mean we shouldn’t sign up for the Honeymoon Suite on his Challenger Cruise to the Moon on Valentine’s Day? Connie was so looking forward to seeing Mt. Rushmore from outer space. And it’s only $495 per person.
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Oh, by all means, if this is an option I say you go for it! Have a blast, literally. 🙂
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I think they’re assuming that the bunny girls are included as part of the fixtures and fittings. Congrats on your anniversary.
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It’s supposed to be an all inclusive package. Honest John referred to them as Playmates, and he said it cane with a fully stocked bar too.
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Ahhh, you! I want to focus on the story, but I was stuck on the intro! Such a sweet story, Russell and I love that you still feel so happy with your find! Of course, the Bunny Ranch… oops, wrong place… the Playboy mansion might put an end to all of that romance!
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Maybe we’ll name the new place after me, and call it the Old Goat Mansion.
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You two are such lucky people, happy anniversary! Honest John never lies, there will be bunnies all over the guys. Fun story.
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Thank you. I’ve got my life-long centerfold, so those other bunnies will just have to hop.
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Happy Anniversary to you both. I’ll bet Connie will like this story better than some ole card. So romantic!
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I hope so. Thanks for the kind words, Dawn.
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