What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
On the Road to Dreams
Well, the results came back on the MRI of my brain. No cave drawings this time, just an endless black frontier where even the boldest of thoughts dare not go.
About ten years ago, I was diagnosed with apnea and have been tethered to a CPAP machine ever since. Now, they are telling me I need to have another sleep study to determine if adjustments are needed regarding the volume of air pumped into my system. Perhaps they’re onto something as my belly appears to have inflated to the size of a truck tire over the past few years.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the hypnotist who waves a new photo on her website every week, causing some of us to doze into dreamland, is Dr. Wilma C. Dement Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the fashionable CPAP masks of the writers in FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
“You’re getting very, very, sleepy.” Professor Dement dangled a wind-up alarm clock in front of my face.
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. Trust me on this one.”
“Okay. I’ll try.” I faked a yawn and batted my eyelids in slow motion.
“Imagine you’re in a field of soft, green grass, surrounded by yellow flowers.”
“All I’m seeing is skyscrapers and a dirty sidewalk.”
“A beautiful woman is walking toward you. She has something in her hands. A gift of love.”
“It looks like a broom and dustpan.”
“She draws near. Your lips touch.”
The alarm clock jingles.
“Zzzzzzzz . . .”
This week’s post inspired by the Cream song, “Deserted Cities of the Heart”
41 Comments on “On the Road to Dreams”
I'd love to hear from you
Purchase ‘One Idiot Short of a Village’
Purchase ‘The Perils of Heavy Thinking’
What's So Funny? 
😀 Really sounds like my grandboys staying overnight
LikeLike
They sound very entertaining.
LikeLiked by 1 person
They will stay up all night, entertaining each other and me until all hours, then at time to get up ZZZZZZZ!
LikeLike
LOL. Enjoyed the exchange with Dr. Dement.
LikeLike
No relation to Dr. Demented, I assure you. Although, they do get a lot of each other’s mail.
LikeLiked by 1 person
“A woman is walking toward you. She has something in her hands. ”
“It looks like a broomstick.”
“She draws near. She is all green and full of warts. Your lips touch.”
No alarm clock ever jingles.
That’s more like my life.
LikeLike
You’ve got to wind the clock first, Perry. Geez, do I have to tell you everything?
LikeLike
Appropriately enough, this was my last read before bed. Here’s hoping Professor Dement and the wind-up alarm clock don’t show up in my dreams …..
LikeLike
Thanks for allowing me to tell you a bedtime story. Sweet dreams
LikeLike
Very funny, Russell. Here’s to saucy dreams with no toads or warts! Hope you’re feeling well.
LikeLike
Thank you, Amy. I sometimes have action/adventure dreams, sort of like a James Bond movie. Unfortunately, I always wake up just before I get the girl. Health wise, I’m doing very well and able to supply the doctors with enough money to decorate their condos in the Bahamas.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m glad to hear you’re doing well, Russell. Now, if only you could recoup that money for an nice tropical vacation. 🙂
LikeLike
Is the prelude your way of telling us you’re full of hot air? Always a pleasure to read, so there must be something in that head of yours. 😉 Have a great weekend!
LikeLike
You’d think all that hot air would help me defy gravity and weigh less, but it’s not working that way. Best wishes to you and the fences.
LikeLiked by 1 person
well only you could have imagined this
LikeLike
I prayed for help and this what He sent me. God gets most of the credit/blame for this one.
LikeLike
I’ve got an alarm clock just like that. Better than a sleeping pill. Good luck with the sleep study. I could study sleep all night, and often do while I’m reading beside him.
LikeLike
The CPAP machine is wonderful. Without out it, my breathing was stopping 51 times per hour and I never got into the deep, restorative sleep level. Apnea can lead to strokes, heart attacks, and being whacked in the head with a skillet for snoring. Both Connie and I sleep much better now.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Sleepy Garden Gnome,
Ah for those happy days of snore. Why is it that a person can toss and turn all night and just one hour before time to get up the Z’s finally happen? Best wishes with the sleep study…do you have to do homework for that?
Shalom,
Dr. WC Dement
LikeLike
Dear Dr. Dement,
I’m happy to say the sleep study does not require a lot of study. They do super-glue about 28 leads to different parts of your body and ask you to lie on your back all night. When it’s all over they print out a 2,000 book that no one reads (sort of like the Obamacare legislation) and bill the insurance company for enough money to build a new wing onto the hospital. Addressing my sleep apnea was one of the best things I ever did–thanks to Connie.
Sleepy, the Garden Gnome
LikeLike
I think you were bewitched… Where there ane eyes of newts involved?
LikeLike
That girl only had eyes of newt for Perry. He’s a magnet for those kind of women.
LikeLike
Funny guy… What I wouldn’t give for a full-night’s sleep (she says as she yawns widely…)
LikeLike
You need a wind-up alarm clock, Dale. Either that or you can read my book, The Perils of Heavy Thinking. Most readers nod off by the second or third page.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha!!! I’m willing to try almost anything!
LikeLike
It’s available on Amazon in either paperback or Kindle. Two ways to snooze.
LikeLike
Those damn alarm clocks! Loved it. Your stories always make me smile.
LikeLike
Hearing one go off always makes me want to go back to sleep. You have a nice smile. Thanks for the compliment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, as well.
LikeLike
sweet dreams, i guess.
LikeLike
Let’s hope.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I would need Dr. Dement’s help for staying awake. I could sleep round the clock, especially this time of year. In-between I can read your stories and laugh for a bit. 🙂
LikeLike
In that case, I’d better keep my stories short.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Looks like your imagination doesn’t slow down when you sleep, Russell. I hope you benefit from your test. All the best. Well done. 🙂 — Suzanne
LikeLike
I suspecting they’ll confirm the setting on the machine are at the right level, but we’ll see.
LikeLike
That’s how it goes sometimes – right at the best bit you wake up. Maybe Dr Dement could dangle something more friendly before you next time – a nice bottle of red? Good to read about your scan results. I’m also happy that you’ve found relief from apnea – it sounds horrible, and I suspect I’m living with an undiagnosed sufferer in denial. Just how did Connie manage to persuade you to seek treatment? She must be some woman.
LikeLike
Margaret this is Connie, Russell’s wife. It wasn’t easy getting him to go. I stayed up all night making him breath. I finally recorded him snoring and let him listen to himself. This is how i was able to convince him. Good luck!
LikeLike
I had bruises on my ribs from her poking me all night. We both sleep better now.
LikeLike
Sounds like hard work, as I suspected, but I’m glad you both had a happy ending. Nice to meet you, Connie.
LikeLike
I love the comments as much as the story!
LikeLike
Wonderful story.. love the witty exchange and then the sleep just as the alarm goes off (story of my life!) Good luck with the sleep study!
LikeLike