Russell Gayer, author speaker
It’s “Back to School” time in our neck of the woods this week, which means that sometime in the next two to three weeks, school administrators will send the little rug rats home with some type of sign-up sheet known as a fundraiser.
The idea is that the captive sales force (primarily the parents) will strong-arm friends, family, and co-workers into spending $16 for 4-ounces of cookie dough or $12 for a shoebox of stale, cheese-flavored popcorn. Where the profit goes is anybody’s guess. The child whose family sells the most gets a plastic gold star, and the principal whose school raises the most money gets a new Lexus. Everybody wins!
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“Folks, this is the little starter home I told you about. It was built in 2012, features several compartments for a growing family, has numerous flower gardens nearby filled with juicy caterpillars, and is only a short flight from the entertainment district.”
“I don’t know,” said Wanda. “I was hoping for something with more of a view.”
“Just look at this rock work, Ma’am. Beautiful, smooth, shiny stones, and running water just outside your door.”
“Are there many humans nearby?” asked Warren.
“Yes, only two minutes from a golf course.”
“What do you think, Wanda?”
“Perfect. We’ll take it.”
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Or the three people I guilted into reading this blog, whatever.
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Love the POV!
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I love the real estate guy. Not too pushy, but still encouraging.
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I would like to think insects have these kind of conversations!
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They’re always buzzing about something.
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Very clever! I hope for their sake it’s well above the tide line.
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I’m there’s a reason it’s “priced to sell.”
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I loved it! And the intro too. But then I always do, you give double value, Russell.
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Thanks, Sandra. I’ve not had anyone ask for a refund yet, but Perry keeps asking to be paid for his comments.
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Now I know exactly what the wasps were thinking when the moved in above my garage 🙂
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Yep, nothing more fun than terrorizing a little mermaid.
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Heh, I hope they didn’t fall into a real estate trap with the running water. Fun take, love the conversation (and the intro).
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Let’s hope it’s a decent neighborhood. Having a golf course nearby is a good sign.
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Dear Warren,
I love the intro and I can relate. I suppose it’s only fair that we buy from the little varmints. We once foisted our own offspring on the unsuspecting neighbors. 😉
As for the new house. It sounds like a sting operation to me.
Shalom,
Flying Wallenda.
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Dear Flying Wallenda,
You’re right about the kiddie fundraisers. What went around years ago came back with a vengeance. Sometimes I just make a donation and tell them to keep their 4 ounces of cookie dough.
The new house certain creates a lot of sting opportunities for the golfers.
Happy flying,
Warren
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Never would have thought to go there with that picture. You have a very unique mind, Mr. Gayer! Keep it up!
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Unique is a very kind word. Most people use a different adjective that’s not so neutral.
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great salesman. he can sell the brooklyn bridge if he wants to. 🙂
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The promise of some nice juicy golfers swung it for Wanda. Who needs a view? Thanks for the chuckles, Russell – as usual.
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I knew there was a reason why the wasps always seek my beer… just great real estate…
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Perfect title! lol
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Wonderfully imaginative!
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