Russell Gayer, author speaker
Poetry, Horror, Psychological Thrillers
Stories From Within
Finding ways to make words sparkle
This is the blog of a woman who is seriously on the edge and I mean right ON the edge…no, not there… just a little bit further… further than that…no, further still…just a tiny bit more… just move slightly to the right a little…no, that’s too much…just move a tad to the left…that’s right, just there…now you’ve moved too far to the left… Damn, what part of the ‘on the edge’ do you not understand? Oh, and her matricidal boy genius, come devil spawn.
Or the three people I guilted into reading this blog, whatever.
Growing older is inevitable. Growing up is optional.
I may make you feel, but I can't make you think.
All the Blogging That's Fit To Print
AS I TOLD THE GIRL THAT I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO, THANKS FOR LAUGHING AT ME HERE TODAY.
A Humor Blog
Stylistically Abusing Language for the Betterment of Mankind
Straight up with a twist– Because life is too short to be subtle!
An author's perspective of mystery and more.
And the worst things. And all that weird stuff in between.
Too funny! I had this silly vision of people throwing salad off their roof tops 🙂
LikeLike
Getting on the roof might burn too many calories. Better just throw it in the hog pen or feed it to the chickens. They like greens.
LikeLike
ha ha. I wish someone would urge me to eat like you do 🙂 Good luck regaining your state title.
LikeLike
I recommend you start your day with a double-helping of biscuits and gravy, then a dozen donuts for mid-morning snack. At lunch, have an extra-large double cheeseburger with fries and for the evening meal, two thick-crust pizzas and a pitcher of beer. There’s your prescription. Considered yourself urged. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds like a lofty goal 😉
LikeLike
Yes, we’ll call the campaign, “Aim High, Arkansas!”
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on Musings on Life & Experience and commented:
Russell is at it again. Hilarious. 😀 — Suzanne
LikeLike
Thank you, Suzanne. I’m flattered. I don’t think anyone has ever reblogged me before.
LikeLike
Hey, chubby is a compliment!
LikeLike
It has never hurt my feelings. I just grin and say, “Aw, shucks.”
LikeLike
Okay, Russ. I’m telling you about this because I truly care about you and you seem to be very competitive in that couch-potato, rah-rah-pass-me-the-super-sized-nachos way. So there’s a guy I know who bought up like two truckloads of decommissioned Planters Cheez Balls. I think he’s either saving them for some kind of secret/suicide/surprise attack against the mid-section of some country or he was going to send them into outer space when we colonize Uranus. But(t) I think that he would be willing to talk to you about reclaiming your big-ass seat as #1. Lemme know. Arranging this deal may take some time. This guy is hard to reach. He’s working on buying all the Frank ‘N Stuff Weiners he can find. No easy task. He’s starting in New York…
LikeLike
Thanks for the tip, Lorna. My guess is he’s saving them for inauguration day in the event the orange-crested blowhard wins the presidential election. Personally, I’d rather see them go to Uranus.
Have him give me a call. Getting back the title is a real priority here in Hog Country.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I imagine that dropping little orange balls that turn to dust would be an appropriate response to a Trump win. Excuse me, I have to sanitize my keyboard because I typed those words…
LikeLike
Usually in our neck of the woods, we’re number one … they keep flipping us off! 😀
LikeLike
When you’re on top, the whole world is out to get ya.
LikeLike
That’s what SHE said … 😀
LikeLike