What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Second Fiddle
Wednesday was the anniversary of my 29th birthday. On that hallowed day in 1984, prophets, tea-leaf readers, and a certain televangelist from Tulsa, had predicted time, as we know it, would stand still.
The catch was, to get your name on the list for the individual, anti-aging, time freeze, the envelope containing your donation to Jacob’s Ladder Prayer Tower Fund had to be postmarked by midnight on the 15th. Fortunately, mine was stamped at 11:58pm.
Flash forward to 2016 and you’ll see that I’m still the same dashingly handsome, modest, and extremely humble, boy-genius from days gone by. The product has retained its classic originality, only the packaging has been updated to lock-in freshness and appeal to a wider, global audience.
If you are new to Friday Flash Fiction, the Marketing Director who posts fresh photo prompts each week, is Lili Von Shtupp Wisoff-Fields. To learn how to participate in this weekly exercise in madness, head over to her blog for instructions. To rent a booth in the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
Born the result of a one-night-stand between a Double Bass and a French horn, Chantelle never fit in.
Rejected by orchestras, marching bands, and traveling gypsies, she found herself relegated to serving sour notes at a third-rate comedy club.
Her range spanned seven octaves, but her voice was always slightly off-key. Musicians debated whether she was a wind, or string instrument, while the comedians thrived on cruel jokes about her f-holes.
An odd-looking rich man saw her act and booked her for an outdoor event on January 20th.
“You’re a perfect fit,” he said, “to play Hail to the Chief.”
43 Comments on “Second Fiddle”
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What's So Funny? 
Oh that was funny indeed! Hmmm… gee… I wonder for whom she shall play? 😛
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Let’s just hope he doesn’t try to grope her.
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I love this, her parents are a bit of a mismatch aren’t they?
LOL
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Yes, I wonder if they had been drinking.
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Once again, two great stories for the price of one! Laugh on! 🙂
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Welcome to the Walmart of Blog Humor.
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Ha ha ha!
What a piece of music!
The comment about her birth and f-holes!
OMG!
ROFL!
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Yeah, it’s not nice to make fun of someone’s f-holes.
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Dear Birthday Boy,
Everyone dances to their own drummer…or something instrumental like that. You’re still a mere lad, and, when it comes to humor, the chief.
Shalom,
Lili Von Shtupp
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Dear Lily Von Shtupp,
Yes, and some people fart to their own tuba, but that’s a different story. I’m fortunate to be forever young, or at least immature. 🙂
Now, to make a wish and blow out the candle.
Junior
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I love the humor in it. Well done and Happy belated Birthday!
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Thank you. I had a wonderful “anniversary.”
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I just had another “anniversary” myself. Time is flying by faster and faster.
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Did you mean to say, Born the result of bow covers left on the night stand? Ha! Hope you had a happy “anniversary”!
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Obviously, her mother didn’t have sex with a safe sax. Thanks for the kind wishes, Honie.
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Another ROFLing masterpiece.
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Thanks, Yarnspinner.
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Q: How do you make a trombone sound like a French Horn?
A: Aim into the wall and play all the wrong notes.
Q: How do you make a French Horn sound like a trombone?
A: Straighten out the piping and abandon all sense of good taste.
Q: If a bassoon player and a warrant officer fell off a high-rise, who’d hit the ground first?
A: Who cares?
On that note … nice work. Made me want to rosin my bow.
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Great one-liners, Kent. Be careful how you use that bow.
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It’s not the bow, but the way you use the rosin. 😉
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A belated happy birthday Russell! A perennial youth, for sure… or certainly where your humor is concerned! 😉 Poor Chantelle from rejection to horror. Not where I want to be on the 20th. And there I go, showing my hand.
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I’m sure in a few months we’ll all being singing, “Make America Grope Again.”
Thanks for the “anniversary” wish.
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Indeed. Now there’s a scary story!
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Will she play next to Hulk Hogan, and Tila Tequila? … after all there are so many already booked on January 20th…
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Yes, I think that’s the plan, but it all boils down to who can brown-nose Trump the best.
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Your stories are always a trip worth taking.
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Aw, thank you. I’ll give you thirty minutes to stop saying stuff like that.
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Sorry can’t help myself.
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I agree with magickmermaid, two fantastic stories for the price of one. “Welcome, Friday Fictioneer shoppers!” Thanks for an afternoon grin. Alicia
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And low prices too.
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perhaps she can lighten up a rather somber occasion.
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I’m sure Bozo the Clown will lighten it up himself with his orange hair.
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We can only wish for the appropriate sour note to set the stage for the next four years.
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Great call, Lori. 🙂 How appropriate.
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I would have expected the odd looking man to blow his own Trumpet…Such an organ recital, very nice.
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Don’t worry, he’ll definitely do that. He never fails to tell us how great he is.
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If she puts her heart into it, maybe she can shatter everything around her as a prophecy of things to come. Fun story, gallows humour, I suppose. And happy returning 29th.
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Thanks, Gabi.
Yes, perhaps she can make lemonade from this lemon of a gig.
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Cruel jokes about her f-holes? LOL!
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I knew that line would crack someone up. 🙂
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Yea…you got me. 😉
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Happy Belated Birthday, Russell. Two hilarious stories. We always think of you as young at heart. I wonder if anyone will hear the music in January. I heard there’s going to be a Million Women March that day. I wouldn’t miss watching that for anything. 😀 — Suzanne
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Thanks, Suzanne. Yes, I fear we’ll have four dismal years and a recession.
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