“Silver bells, silver bells . . .” Okay, okay, I promise to stop singing if each of you will make a $5 donation to the charity of your choice. Otherwise you’ll be forced to listen to my stirring rendition of “Little Dumber Boy.” (You can imagine who that’s about)
Remember all the great variety show Christmas specials that used to be on TV? People like Andy Williams, Perry Como, Glen Campbell, and Fester Ledbelly? They’d sing all the yuletide classics until you thought you were going to puke. And who can forget Iron Butterfly’s “In a Godda Davinity?” Those were the days.
If you are new to Friday Flash Fiction, our variety show host who makes every day a holiday, is Doris Day-O Wisoff-Fields. To learn how to participate in this weekly exercise in madness, head over to her blog for instructions. To rent a booth in the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
“Please, Dad,” begged Brandon. “Tell me again how you discovered global warming and saved the planet.”
“Well, son, I can’t take all the credit. Al Gore and I were being held captive by a tribe of scantily-clad Polynesian girls on a deserted island known as Hawaii. Every night, we were forced to drink Mai Tai and satisfy their lustful desires.
“While there, I invented the Internet and discovered snow-global warming. Al was able to escape and shared my discoveries with the world.”
Perry shook a snow-globe and sat it on the table.
“See, son. It’s melting.”
“Gee, Dad. You’re a genius.”
We should all be as fortunate as Brandon and have a hero like that to look up to.
On a side note, Al Gore had promised, if elected president, to appoint Mr. Block to a high-ranking position in the Department of Defense where he would have been known simply as Admiral Perry.
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This is the blog of a woman who is seriously on the edge and I mean right ON the edge…no, not there… just a little bit further… further than that…no, further still…just a tiny bit more… just move slightly to the right a little…no, that’s too much…just move a tad to the left…that’s right, just there…now you’ve moved too far to the left… Damn, what part of the ‘on the edge’ do you not understand? Oh, and her matricidal boy genius, come devil spawn.
Or the three people I guilted into reading this blog, whatever.
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AS I TOLD THE GIRL THAT I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO, THANKS FOR LAUGHING AT ME HERE TODAY.
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