What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Washed Up
What ever happened to theme songs? There was a time when you didn’t have to be in the same room as the TV to know what was coming on. Those first few notes signaled smoke from Jed Clampett’s musket, the thundering hoofs of the Cartwright’s horses, and the melodic voices of Archie and Edith belting out “Those were the days.”
I propose we have theme songs for our blogs. The music from Hawaii Five-O, Jeapordy, or Twilight Zone, might be fitting for some, while others may opt for the lyrical magic of tunes such as Rawhide, Cheers, and my personal favorite—Gilligan’s Island.
Which music would you pick? Include your answer in the comments.
If this is your first visit to Friday Flash Fiction, expect to hear “Smoke on the Keyboard” (a take-off of the Deep Purple classic) when you click on the homepage of our hostess, Linda November Wisoff-Fields. To learn how to participate in this weekly exercise in madness, head over to her blog for instructions. To meet the members of the FFF Glee Club click here.
copyright – Ted Strutz
Washed Up
“A has-been,” they whispered behind his back.
After a career spanning more than four decades in the advertising business, he’d been dropped like hot potato.
Told that he would be a nice fit for Washington by an orange-haired candidate, he anticipated being nominated to a cabinet post after the election.
When that fell through, the only work he could find was an occasional birthday party. Once considered loveable, his random public sightings were now labeled as “creepy” by the mainstream media.
Ronald stared at his red shoes and wept. He would eat tonight, but it wouldn’t be a happy meal.
92 Comments on “Washed Up”
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What's So Funny? 
Killer clown
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I don’t know how we Make America Great Again without him.
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You’ve got Donald
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So we do. And he has a permanent scowl painted on his face too.
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Poor Ronald. Does he want flies with that meal? Though he may be doing something right if the orange-haired one does not want him.
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Couldn’t you just see him as Secretary of Agriculture? He would be in charge of the school lunch program.
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❤ Brown-eyed Girl -Van Morrison
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Great choice, Kecia. Can’t go wrong with Van Morrison. One of my favorites is Into the Mystic, but it wouldn’t fit this blog.
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I just had to listen to Mystic and now I’ve gone all misty-eyed. Curses.
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Aww. It is a beautiful song, isn’t it?
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Grab a bucket and mop, Ronald!
My theme song has always been Born To Be Wild.
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No sympathy for Ronald, eh?
Great choice. A true nature’s child.
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Poor Ronald… all dressed up and no place to go!
Mine would be “Wild Thing”!
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Right now, there are not many openings for out of work clowns. Personally, I thought he had a real shot at two or three of those cabinet posts. It was probably real embarrassing to lose out to those clowns.
I used to be frisky, but anymore I’m more of a Mild Thing.
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I agree..there should have been a spot for him.
Nothing wrong with being a mild thing!
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So that’s why he was missing from our local McD’s! We thought he’d been clown-napped. You are always on top of the story, Russell. I see Brown-eyed Girl is taken, so I’ll have to rethink my theme song–since my blog has ‘gone to the birds,’ I’m going with “On the Wings of a Nightingale.” (Everly Bros.)
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I realize there are a lot of perverts out there, but it’s sad that a man can’t hug a child or hold one on his lap without being accused of being a pedophile. A rumor I heard was that McDonalds had received some criticism due to having a clown interacting closely with children. Naturally, they bent to the opposite extreme and sent Ronald packing. I, for one, am not “Loving It.”
I do love your birds, and the fences too. How about “Don’t Fence Me In.”
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Good song choice! That is a sad commentary on society, everything is taken to the extreme. I know a lot of people don’t like clowns, period. Times are changing.
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So sad for Ronald — used for 80 years and then cast aside. If hugging is an issue, I suppose Santa Claus will be the next to go? Yes, it is sad — making the norm seem extreme and the extreme seem like the norm.
Someone once suggested that if you get serious about housecleaning and decluttering you should do it to the theme from the Lone Ranger. Not sure what tune bloggers should use. Too bad there wasn’t a song title “Make Every Word Count.”
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Perhaps a song by Count Von Count from Sesame Street would suffice, although it would take him quite a while to get to 100.
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Surely there is a place for Ronald in the administration. Secretary for Health. Secretary of State, Attorney General? I would stick with a classic TV theme – ‘The Saint’ or ‘The Persuaders’ spring to mind. Something thay made my blog seem a lot more retro-cool than it actually is – much like those programmes…
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Secretary of Health, I like that. And let’s install Hamburgler as Attorney General. He’d fit in with those other crooks.
I like retro. You could always whistle the Andy Griffith theme.
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My choice would be an Elvis song – anything loud enough to cover the sound of the daily reports of political shenannigans here or in your neck of the woods. I feel sorry for Ron.
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I pictured you as a Jerry Lee Lewis fan, Liz. Sing me a few bars of “Whole Lotta Shakin’ Going On.”
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It ain’t America without the Golden Arches. As for the Washington establishment? I leave them alone and never comment on them. I get enough whining and crying as it is. Drives me nuts.
After all, every joke gets recycled anyway.
My theme song — Sweet Gingerbread Man by Michel LeGrand. Partly because I was born December 21 and my mom made great gingerbread men, partly because the lyrics are brilliantly written and describe me to a “T” in a lot of ways. Tune’s pretty catchy, too.
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and all this time I thought you were “Mr. Sandman” cause you put your dates to sleep. Maybe that was Perry.
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Barrump-BUMP!
Where is that loafer anyway?
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Dear Ronald,
Here’s to the days of artery clogging good times. Never could resist a redhead. Now here’s something you’ll really like:
Shalom,
Linda
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Dear Linda,
For a minute there, I thought I heard a cat clawing a chalk board.
Love the gingham apron. It coordinates well with purple. I plan on driving up to Branson the morning of the 18th for OWL. Looking forward to seeing you in the purple.
Ronald
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Jings, that was terrifying!
Scary biscuits, indeed!
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Glad you liked it, C.E.
We’re available for encores. 😉
Hugs
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AnElephantCant stand to hear cats being tortured
He imagines that even bagpipes flee in fear from her kiss
His ears now need bleach
To get rid of that screech
So AnElephant packs his trunk and says goodbye to the circus
He has never realised how prescient this song is:
Off he goes with a trumpety-trump. Trump, trump, trump
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Dear Elephant,
I suppose I’ll stick to writing and painting. But now my dreams of being a singer are dashed. Snuffety-sniff snuff, sniff, sniff.
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Oh, my goodness, Rochelle, as dear a friend as you are, if you ever visit the UK I won’t be asking you to sing in my choir 😉 That video is hilarious 🙂
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Dear Sarah,
Surely you’ve seen All in the Family. I’m no singer but I was imitating Edith Bunker. Now half the Ozarks Writers League calls me Edith. 😉
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Dear Rochelle,
No, I haven’t seen All in the Family. I must look it out. I love that name Edith Bunker. Anyway, I thought you were very funny in that video, even though I’ve not had the pleasure of seeing the real Edith. 🙂
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Oh Dear Lord!
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Hilarious. I think Ronald would be extremely qualified for the Department of Clowns, also know as anyone working in the White House. My theme song? The theme from General Hospital in español. I’m working on my first Telonovella. They were filming one in the town square recently and I went every day and drank tequila at the bar near the set trying to get my shot at stardom. Purely just 40 proof research of course.
Buen dia amigo
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Sounds like the research is going well. That’s the most important part of any well conceived project.
My choice for you was the “Coconut” song by Harry Nilsson. Can’t you just hear me wailing, “Doctor, ain’t there nothing I can take . . .”
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That’s brilliant, YES that’s my new theme song.
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No one who upstages The Donald would be allowed to serve. Not even the Golden Arches could protect Ronald (even if he would fit into that clown-car Cabinet).
Blog theme song? Twist and Shout.
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Shake it up, Lorna, Twist and Shout! Come on, come on, Lorna . . .
Yeah, I can see that one working.
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I knew you would! 🙂
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Wow, made me almost feel sorry for Ronald. Never was quite fond of him, anyway. I do love happy meals, though, as they are the perfect exchanges for a lunch on an active day.
Blog theme song for this week might be the theme song from Disney’s “Brave”, or the like. Although I was listening to “Another One Bites the Dust” by someone when I wrote it.
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I pictured you as a “We are the Champions” girl. 🙂
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That’s a good song, too. I just couldn’t think of the title. Thanks! 🙂 Thanks, also, for the compliment. 🙂
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I’m pretty sure he is in the cabinet, and if not he would be a great new addition to FDA. Obese again!!
I think I would go punk on my blog. “Anarchy in the UK” maybe.
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That’s an interesting choice for a poet. There’s a lot of mystery lurking behind those dark glasses.
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Poor Ronald, Maybe if he touts his hair-do, the Donald will acquiesce? Although that might cause a rift in the end – too much competition.
My song? Smoke on the Water
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I agree, he should get extra points for the hair. The over-sized shoes are a nice fit too.
I was going to suggest “Alice’s Restaurant” for you, but you can’t go wrong with Deep Purple (says Rochelle).
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I would be laughing my butt off if it wasn’t so true. I really like this one.
My theme song. I have to stay true to my Dog Lover’s roots. My song would be the theme song from The Littlest Hobo. Incase you forgot what that was here’s a link – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgGKSjiw0HQ. Watching that show made me want a dog in the worst way.
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I watched the video and was reminded of Rin Tin Tin. I can’t remember if they had a theme song for Lassie or not.
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Hilarious as always!!! Wasn’t the theme song for the election “Send in the Clowns”?
‘Ride of the Valkyries’ by Wagner would be my theme song.
When I moved into my own house I sang ‘Movin’ On Up’ from the Jeffersons quite loudly and played ‘We Are The Champions’ at full blast. Possibly why the neighbours tend to ignore me and pretend they are invisible when I go outside.
With all the voices in my head, sometimes it’s difficult know which tune is playing at the moment. 🙂
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It sounds like you’re an entire vocal band by yourself, Morgaine.
I always loved the theme from the Jeffersons. Do you sing Bohemian Rhapsody too?
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Of course! Would you expect anything less? 😀
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Nope. I’m sure you can do the fandango. 🙂
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Yes, Scaramouche and I trip the light fantastic on a regular basis! 😀
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it’s a new world out there. perhaps it would help if he switches to a new pair of shoes.
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Nah, I think it’s the hair. He should forget politics and go into farming.
His theme song, “E-I, E-I, O.”
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Thanks for this, Russell, I thought he was President, it is the first time I have realised that they are two different people.
Theme tune?
Pink Panther, I think.
(Is that close enough to get Brownie points from her Purpliciousness?)
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I can understand the confusion. Ronald and Donald are hauntingly similar in far too many ways.
Pink Panther is a perfect fit for you. A suspenseful tune with a hint of playfulness. You should get points galore.
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Such a sad story. It’s tragic that someone who made people laugh for entertainment, should be out of work because of a shift in opinion. I wonder if Stephen King, with his novel “It”, unwittingly set in motion the tide turn against clowns. Do you remember the Black and White Minstrels? There was a time when people thought they were harmless fun, too, until the politically correct brigade came along.
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I think Ronald McDonald may have run his course anyway. But still, it’s sad the way the cast him aside for political correct reasons. I’m not familiar will the Black & White Minstrels, but will look them up.
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hahahaha!!! That was great!
And that’s all I have to say! 🙂
-Rachel
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I appreciate that, Rachel. I’m trying to think of a good theme song for you. How about “Our Lips Are Sealed,” by the Go Go’s?
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It seems the country needs a few clowns, real and not the kind that are operating at present. I have a bad feeling about the kinds of jobs that are going to be generated. Ronald better stick with McDonalds. I hope he’s not an illegal alien or he may even lose that one. Funny stuff, Russell. 😀 — Suzanne
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I suspect he may be Irish. Trump may deport him back to the Emerald Isle.
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Poor Ronald. I guess he fell in with the wrong crowd. Hamburglar comes to mind… 😉
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I think he hangs out with Chris Christie too. There’s another guy who thought he had a cabinet position sewed up. Maybe they can drown their sorrows with a few Big Macs and some Super-sized fries.
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Haha! Maybe so. Perhaps Rudy Giuliani can join them.
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Yeah, I’d forgotten about Rudy. I’m also surprised Sarah Palin didn’t get some fancy appointment. After all, she can see Russia from her house.
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Poor Ronald. It comes to us all though, I suppose
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Yes, it seems since my sixtieth birthday, I’ve been moving closer to the exit every day.
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His time has come. I’d love to see him and the Orange One dancing off into the sunset together.
The song: Tobacco Road.
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I love that song. I played bass in a blues band for about 20 years. We used to cover that one.
Maybe Ronald could sing the old Canned Heat song, “On the Road Again.”
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How is it that a red-haired clown didn’t give a red-shoed clown a job? Very unjust
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With him, loyalty is a one-way street.
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Funny. Lately American politics has turned into a living breathing terrifying satire.
As for the song I think I would choose Teardrops by Mezzanine from House.
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One thing is certain, there’s something new every day. The presidential logo should be a giant whisk, for he’s certainly good at stirring things up.
I’m not familiar with that song, but will look it up. Hum a few bar for me, Tamal.
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A serious story? What’s So Funny coming to??? Good one, Russell.
I don’t know what you would hear upon coming to my blog, but I always hear a Calliope here.
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I may have to change my header to “That’s not Funny.”
Yes, maybe the calliope music is a good fit, especially when reading the the comments (or listening to Kent & Rochelle’s tribute to Edith Bunker).
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I cannot imagine a childhood without clowns. Sure, some of them are scary, some made that way by movies, but so many; the circus, children’s birthday party clowns, etc. are just fun happy guys (and gals). My theme song, in part might be Take it Easy by the Eagles. Don’t let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy.
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I loved seeing clowns at the circus, rodeos, and other places as a child. They were goofy and worked hard to make people laugh. It’s terrible what the movies and a few bad clowns have done to ruin that lovable image.
Take it Easy is a great song. The Eagles are one of my favorites. I’m glad you didn’t choose Disco Strangler. 🙂
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LOL…I am glad also!
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Poor Ronald! What a creative take on the prompt!
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It’s a long, hard fall from the top.
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Yes, indeed.
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I’m sure Ronald could get some kind of job in the Cabinet. I’m sure the Press Secretary position is going to open up soon. While not a cabinet position, it’s very visible. I’m sure Ronald would be happy there and you can do whatever you like.
Well, if it’s TV, I’ll go for the X-files theme for it’s paranormal element. 🙂 Otherwise, I’m not sure. It’s a great question, Russell. If not that, maybe some Brazilian lounge music.
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I suspect there will be regular openings as those who fail to be good “Yes” men and women fall to Trump’s axe. Ronald would be good at diverting the press from subjects “The Boss” doesn’t want discussed, but might have too much star power, which would result in jealousy.
The X-Files theme is a good fit, Amy. The truth is out there.
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Maybe they decided one clown was enough. Loved how this built slowly, Russell. I’ve missed reading your stories – this is a perfect example of how you conbime humour with a really heartfelt story.
Almost didn’t comment though – no way I can think of a theme song with the Wheels on the Bus playing on loop in the background!
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Thanks for stopping in and your wonderful comment.
You made it “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood.” 🙂
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I wish I could do it more often. I so enjoy reading FF stories, yours are some of my favourites, but at the moment I hardly manage to post mine and read a couple of others
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