What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Body of Evidence
My wife is one of those people who buys a gift for someone then can’t wait to give it to them. It’s like the item is a hot potato and burns a hole in her hands if she holds it too long. Fifteen minutes after arriving home with a present for a future occasion she’ll ask, “Do you think I should give it to them now? They could start enjoying it right away. It’s only two months until their birthday.”
This is a rhetorical question because she’s going to give it to them regardless of what I say. She’s not seeking an opinion, but rather an affirmation to further justify the early gifting. Then, when the appointed occasion does arrive, she’ll buy a second, smaller gift, “Just so they’ll have something to open.”
If you are new to Friday Flash Fiction, the noted philanthropist who can’t wait to post photo prompts three days early is Jean D. Rockefeller Wisoff-Fields. To learn how to participate in this weekly exercise in madness, head over to her blog for instructions. To rent a box in the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson
The receptionist led Detective Lowry to the conference room. He hated legal offices. Always too neat, too clean, too well decorated. Beneath the façade of flowers and Lemon Pledge lurked a seedy underbelly that made him want to puke.
The boxes angered him most. Tightly sealed and stacked to the ceiling, they contained tidbits of information held as evidence awaiting the right moment to convict and condemn. Just like his ex-wife.
The prosecutor sat across the table. “We let the mime go.”
“Why? You’ve got fingerprints, face-paint, and a confession.”
“Without the invisible box, we don’t have a case.”
61 Comments on “Body of Evidence”
I'd love to hear from you
Purchase ‘One Idiot Short of a Village’
Purchase ‘The Perils of Heavy Thinking’
What's So Funny? 
And here I am a groan man
LikeLike
Yep, you’re groaning now. 🙂
LikeLike
Puzzled…invisible box? Puzzled… must mean something… Oh, yeah, case. Moan! 🙂
(If there’s anything buried deeper here, you’ll have to unearth it for me. I’m not up with all the latest.)
LikeLike
P.s.: I’d like to get to know your wife. She sounds like a person I’d enjoy getting gifts from. 😉
LikeLike
I should apologize for this one. The Saga of the Invisible Box dates back to an earlier post entitled Criminal Mimes. https://russellgayer.com/2016/10/12/criminal-mimes-reprise/ and continues with the locating the guilty party here https://russellgayer.com/2016/11/23/the-invisible-box-part-iii/
LikeLike
Oh… Just as I was going to say this was an on-going saga, Detective Lowry gave you the links…
LikeLike
Hahahaha! Oh, yes, this sounds quite familiar to my eyes. Currying the favor of the Queen, no doubt, eh, Nave? She’ll love it!
It’s interesting as to Connie’s approach to giving. Sometimes I will get that way about a gift, feeling it will burn a hole in my hands as well.
Five out of five invisible men, women and mimes. 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks, Kent. I can’t believe the mime is going to walk free. What’s her next caper, tying people up with an invisible rope? Has she invited you over to see her gallery of invisible art? Perhaps she’ll bring some with her to the August OWL meeting.
LikeLike
It’s entirely possible. There are many forgeries out there, it’s tough to know what’s real and what’s not, you know?
LikeLike
Especially when you’re not a connoisseur of invisible art.
LikeLike
We all know a mime is a terrible thing to waste. I’ve put my disappearing watercolors to work and have done many invisible line drawings for the OWL art contest.
LikeLike
Good luck finding that box. heheh! 🙂
LikeLike
There’s no telling where she’s hidden it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL!
Awful story. The mime part I mean, not the multi-gifting. 🙂 Come see mine here.
LikeLike
You are a master at this! Mime, invisible box? Well done, my friend. @sheilamgood at Cow Pasture Chronicles
LikeLike
You’re too kind, Sheila. Hope it gave you a smile.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The mime wins again! 😀
Your wife is a lovely person!
LikeLike
Yes, those pesky mimes.
I’ll tell Connie you said that. She’ll be pleased that a mermaid complimented her.
LikeLike
Not the return of the invisible box! An epic ongoing drama.
LikeLike
I doubt Detective Lowry will give up. She’ll slip up somewhere. The invisible box will trip her up sooner or later.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Detective Lowry,
A mime can run (in place) and build (invisible) walls, but it’s tough to hide behind them. There’s a reason I don’t buy gifts too far in advance. I’d so the same as Connie. Can’t help myself they burn holes through the invisible wrapping paper.
Shalom,
Jean D. Rockefeller W(T)F
LikeLike
Buahahahahah! W(T)F… you kill me!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear JD Rockefeller W(T)F,
Sometimes I wonder if the prosecutor wasn’t a closet mime himself. He seemed awfully quick to brush the case aside. I’m going to review the security videos and see who “borrowed” the invisible box from the evidence room.
It ain’t over till it’s over,
Detective Lowry
LikeLiked by 1 person
Fun! I’d forgotten about the invisible box and my mind harkened back to the prompt that truly was an invisible box until our fair fairy-blog-mother stuck something inside. Thanks for carrying the idea on. Love it.
LikeLike
It’s a tough job keeping these mimes on the straight and narrow, Alicia. Somebody’s got to do it.
LikeLike
Hah! Good thing the mime was set free… who knows when you’ll “dig” her up again… 😉
Fun one!
LikeLike
Who knows indeed. Maybe in the mean time, she’ll give you one of her invisible paintings.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hmmmm
LikeLike
I super loved this post….Superbly written..take a bow
Click Here to see what Mrs. Dash Says
LikeLike
I always wait for the punch from you–that great final line 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks, Linda. I do what I can.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I liked your story mister G. Clever as always, but with sometimes a serious truthful tidbit can be found, like this line… they contained tidbits of information held as evidence awaiting the right moment to convict and condemn. Just like his ex-wife.
And speaking of wives, your wife and I are cut from the same cloth, I can’t wait either, we’re the ones who make life fun.
LikeLike
Thanks for noticing that, Ted. I sometimes try to mix a little truth in with the lies just to hold the story together.
How do I sign up for your gift giving list?
LikeLike
Ha! Very good! Keep the scary mime away from me, though 🙂
LikeLike
That face paint makes me nervous too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLike
And so the saga continues. I’m counting on Detective Lowry to not give up. I liked that you added the scent of lemon Pledge it gave depth to the scene you had set.
LikeLike
I can’t wait until he puts her behind invisible bars. Let’s see her escape from that–NOT!
LikeLiked by 1 person
the detective has a point. this calls for vigilante justice. 🙂
LikeLike
Ewww, I’m not touching a mime. Too scary.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You got us there – hook, line and sinker!
Your case is invisible too!
LikeLike
That’s the trouble with mimes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
👍👍👍
LikeLike
Rochelle’s name is Jean D. Rockefeller? Hmmm. …. This is a case that needs solving??????
LikeLike
The owner of the invisible box is pretty upset. I hope she had it insured.
LikeLike
Ha! Love the ex-wife aside.
And, then the joke.
Thanks for the laugh!
LikeLike
Thanks for noticing the ex-wife jibe. It was an opportunity to reveal a bit of Lowry’s character.
LikeLiked by 1 person
“Without the invisible box, we don’t have a case” ….shakes head….
Looks like a victory of mime over matter. One day the inspector will step on a mime….
LikeLike
Even if he did step on a mime, no one would hear the explosion.
LikeLike
In case your wife’s interested, my birthday is in December. I’m open for gift reception from November onwards. Oh, and the story was good. You will remember to tell her…
LikeLike
That’s only four months away. I’ll tell her. Yours should be ready around Halloween.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha – I love the last line! 😀
LikeLike
Thank you.
LikeLike
LOL…and I say this as an ex wife…lol…twice.
LikeLike
Connie has the first mistake I ever made filed away in her memory, and every one since.
I’m not the one who gets the early gifts, but she did pick me up a couple of nice Hawaiian shirts at a garage sale this weekend.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The invisible box strikes again, that was fun. And you do have a very generous wife who all of a sudden has all these new friends. :).
LikeLike
There are a lot of people trying to get on Connie’s gift-giving list.
LikeLike
Invisible box?
The case might never be solved then.
I am so like your wife, I buy gifts way ahead of time and then get itchy hands to give them away. LOL
LikeLike
Someone will stumble across the invisible box sooner or later. The mime better hope it’s not Lowry.
I think all of us get itchy hands at times. We’re so proud of the gift we personally selected we can’t wait to see the joy on their face–or at least, we hope it’s joy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL! @ hope it’s joy.
LikeLike
Hilarious, Russell. Only your fertile mind could deal with an invisible box. 😀 — Suzanne
LikeLike