What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
The ?FoneIX and MeTube
I’ve just returned from Little Rock where Dr. John Dornhoffer laid over my right ear and replaced my pea-sized brain with one the size of a marble.
So far, the results have been fantastic (except for the excessive rattling). My muse has returned full force and my wit is sharper and stronger than ever as evidenced by the story below. Now, it is with all modesty and humility I can confidently proclaim to the world that I am indeed “sharp as a marble.”
If you are new to Friday Flash Fiction, our straight-shooter of 100-word stories is Cateye Aggie Wisoff-Fields. To learn how to participate in this weekly exercise in madness, head over to her blog for instructions. To rent a box in the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
White House Spokesperson Sarah Huckabee Sanders announced the rollout of a new presidential social media site known as MeTube. The site will be an exclusive feature of the ?FoneIX released by Trump industries later this week.
“This is a YUGE win,” tweeted the President. “With the Why-Phone-Nine and MeTube app, Americans can now read my thoughts before I even tweet them.
“Plus, it’s constructed entirely from recycled materials at our plant in Leavenworth, Kansas by a couple of out of work Americans, namely Obama and Crooked Hillary.
“A gazillion people are camped out on the White House lawn waiting to get theirs.”
40 Comments on “The ?FoneIX and MeTube”
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What's So Funny? 
Dear Had Churley,
Metube sounds about right…or alt right or alt left or Alt-Ctrl-Delete. So let’s all tweet like the birdbrains do. Glad you’re proctologist knew what he was doing. (What’s worth hearing these days anyway?) I’m sure we’ll all get ours in the end. 😉 Happy to see you amongst the squares.
Shalom,
Cateye Aggie W(T)F
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/YouTube
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Dear Cateye Aggie,
Only $1.65 billion? Pocket change compared to what MeTube will sell for.
The doctor said my surgery was a 95% success. I asked for two marbles, but he was afraid it would make me too smart for my own good. Then I might go into politics.
Had Churley
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I’m undecided about the usefulness of the new phone. Would I really want to know what the Chief Officer is thinking? We Canadians have long memories and are still a bit miffed at what Nixon thought of our beloved PM P E Trudeau. (The water gate should have let that one wash downstream without a public hearing.) Mind you, if people had known what was on Nixon’s mind back then…
Seriously, all the built-in insinuations in your announcements had me in twitters. You’re hillaryous, sir! Leavenworth, eh? Probably waiting for a grass-roots revolution to sweep them back into Fort Nox, DC.
As to the gazillion people, don’t forget to subtract the hundreds who are camped at the Canadian border as we speak, asking for refugee status. They’d love to know which way the ball’s going to bounce, but they’re not waiting for the phone call.
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My, you do have a longer memory. We didn’t call him Tricky Dick for nothing. The guy was a snake. It always mystified me why he thought he needed to cheat in an election he was going to win by a landslide anyway.
Thanks for picking up on the Clinton/Obama reference. Trump has done more to improve their images in past six months than they did on their own in the past eight years.
The gazillion people is the estimate Trump put on the number attending his inauguration, when in fact it was closer to thirty-four–all of whom he paid to show up.
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This strikes fear in my heart! Knowing what our illustrious president thinks before he does? Yoiks. Another good one.
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Scary isn’t it? Now we know ahead of time and still can’t do anything to keep him from saying it.
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Russell, you’ve always been one sharp dude! I am now donning my tin foil hat so as not to have my thoughts recorded by the ?FoneIX. 🙂
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Don’t worry about that, Morgaine. If Trump wants your thoughts, he’ll tell you what they are.
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Trust me, and I mean that bigly, he doesn’t want to know what I’m thinking! 🙂
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You made me smile then smile again, thank you.
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You’re too kind, Michael.
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I feel like an observer, wondering (much like the Haitian immigrants now at our border asking for refugee status in Canada) which way the ball’s going to bounce.
It really intrigues me how it came about that two unpopular people, both of questionable principles/skills/wisdom, could be the only two choices for President of the US. Which leads to the next thing I wonder about. If President Trump should say, “You’re such an ungrateful nation, I can’t do anything to please you. I’m throwing in the towel” — as most people seem to want him to — who would step up and take control? And where were they last year when the race was on?
Just hypothetical questions.
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Christine
The truth is that we (Americans) don’t know either. These are strange and I think dangerous times. Believe me when I say that we are all shaking our heads too.
Tracey
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It’s not a job a normal, sane person would want. You have to be an egotistical, power-hungry lunatic. Many of the people who voted for him don’t read newspapers (or books, or magazines for that matter), watch the news, or make any attempt to become informed on real issues. They quickly jump on the band wagon of emotional issues such as abortion, gun control, and illegal immigration. They fall in line with whatever the propaganda machine tells them to believe, think, and feel. And personally, I don’t see that changing.
I agree with Tracey, these are strange and dangerous times.
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Russell,
Glad to see that your muse is plugged in. Mine has been eating her way through new recipes and the food coma interferes with her fiction circuits, although I did write a very popular post about Why I’m not afraid to live in Baja Sur, Mexico at http://www.mybajakitchen.com
I need more time in my day and less Trump in my country.
Tracey
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I’ve visited your Baja Kitchen a few times. The food looks fantastic, although I’ve yet to whip up one of those recipes. Perhaps I’ll get to it in the next week while I’m recovering from ear surgery.
Like you, I could do with less Trump.
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When you say “thinks” ……?
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Poor choice of words on my part. It should have read “forms irrational thoughts”
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Reblogged this on Musings on Life & Experience and commented:
Russell strikes again. Hilarious.
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Thank you, Suzanne. I don’t often go political on this site. It must have been a side effect of the anesthesia.
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Oh no a fake blog post. I suspect the Russ in the Russians put up this post 😉
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Yes, Vlad and I are sitting here side-by-side (with our shirts off) as I type this.
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MeTube you say already a TM – Trump Mark not Trademark – my amazing idea ruined, gone. It took me so long to think up too. Ah well the ace up my sleeve MeMeMe Tube 🙂
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That’s right up there with the I-Me-MineTube.
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ROFL 😀 You make me guffaw at midnight and risk waking everyone up 🙂 Compulsory subscription of MeTube for you as punishment 🙂
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No! Please! Anything but that!
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it doesn’t seem like a good investment. he will be impeached sooner than we expect..
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I expected him to be impeached before now. I think he’s already pardoned and granted himself immunity.
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Ha! What a terifying thought, actually looking into that man’s head. But surely MeTube is unnecessary? He already spills his brains, day and night into the Twittersphere. Made me smile, Russ … and grimace 🙂
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The function of MeTube is to further feed his ego (as if that’s necessary). He wants your undivided attention 24/7. Welcome to Trump World.
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It’s sadly true he doesn’t have me full attention at the moment – I get distracted by work, family … writing. Not sure what I’ll end up scribbling if he’s talking in my ear all day. But it might have to be censored before I can put it on the blog!
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Lovely take on the prompt. I could totally picture this
Click Here to see what Mrs. Dash Says
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Funny but cringeworthy.
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Cringeworthy indeed.
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MeTube sounds perfect. Isn’t there a Witter app as well?
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If not, there should be.
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If you’re going to go political, this is the way to do it!
Laughs abound as per usual
Am extremely happy to find you well after surgery! xo
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Thank you, Dale. I appreciate the well-wishes and glad the surgery is behind me.
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I can well imagine
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Well, since your current ‘leader’ claims to have the bestest brain and wants to be the smartest, having a marble in your head is not the worst choice in comparison. I consider the news that he *thinks* as fake news. Fun and horrifying story, Russel, and I wish you well.
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