What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
The Gap
Have you ever done something right when you had no clue what you were doing? It makes it real hard to repeat the accomplishment. One of the ironies in life is that success teaches us very little, while failure is a sage professor who burns every lesson into our memory.
Recently, I started working on a presentation on How to Write Humor. In the course of my research I discovered there were several things I was doing right despite my ignorance, and uncovered some new tools. One of keys to writing humor is “thinking like a five-year-old.” How am I doing on that one?
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the straw boss who oversees our 100-word stories is Rosie “The Word Riveter” Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the ensemble of practicing fic-titioners in the writers in FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
Marta smiled, displaying a gap between her teeth I hadn’t noticed before. It wasn’t as wide as the Grand Canyon, but let’s just say there was room to park Brad’s Kia and still open both doors.
“This is the video room,” said Marta, once again displaying THE GAP. By now, she couldn’t open her mouth without me mentally parking the Kia. “We have over 5,000 instructional and 12,542 entertainment videos.”
“Can they learn to make a bomb?” I asked.
“Oh no,” said Marta. “We discourage that. But they can learn to brush their teeth.”
Again she flashed that Cheshire-cat smile.
*the above is an excerpt from “The Academy of Spoiled Rotten Brats” in my new book One Idiot Short of a Village soon to be available on Amazon. Stay tuned!
65 Comments on “The Gap”
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What's So Funny? 
Mind the Gap. Although it is tricky to get them to brush their teeth properly.
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Yes, and it probably going to take more than watching a video.
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LOL.
Would that gap happen to come from missing teeth? And here I just thought she was lusty.
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It’s a natural gap between teeth. Our narrator in this story (Rachel Crofton) tends to exagerate a bit.
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You’ve taken comedy writing to a whole new level. 🙂
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Yes, I may have lowered the bar. 🙂
It’s nice to see you here. Thanks for stopping by and leaving such a sweet comment.
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Love it. You can’t help but chuckle when you read it. Nice job.
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Thanks, Jan. I wonder if Marta ever had a log of celery stuck between her teeth?
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LMAO… I was gonna write something but was afraid it wasn’t PG-rated…
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Me too! Sorry, I also.
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Ha ha!
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So, you were going to write erotica?
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Ummmm… 😉
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methinks whatever she says doesn’t have a lot of teeth. 🙂
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Her bark is definitely worse than her bite.
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Haha! I just love the descriptions of her THE GAP. I dated a girl who had a great gap…in her teeth. It had its own weather system.
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And you let her get away? Girls like that don’t come along every day.
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Oh no. I married her. Smartest move I ever made. 😉
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You’re screwing up when you’re thinking like a five year old. You have to think like a Jewish five year old. That’s the secret!
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You mean a five-year-old Abe Vigoda? You’ve already taken that role.
I’m going for a five-year-old George Burns persona. I’ve already got the cigar.
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One of your best, I think. 🙂 I can’t get that gap out of my mind now.
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Hopefully, it will give you flashbacks every time you see someone with a space between their teeth. 🙂
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The story has some gaps that need filling 🙂 Who are ‘they’?
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“They” are the children who attend The Academy of Spoiled Rotten Brats. In this snippet. Marta is giving Rachel Crofton (a student’s grandmother) a tour of the school.
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Aah OK. Thanks.
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The gap that needs to be filled is my dirty mind. Thanks for the family friendly friday fiction (FFFF).
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You know, I never considered the dirty angle, but it’s interesting how many commentors did. It says a lot about our group. 🙂
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I liked the way you constructed this story, getting full value from parking the Kia, and cunningly leveraging Lewis Carrol’s Cheshire Cat! Nice work – had me smiling!
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In the full story, the narrator starts mentally parallel parking the Kia.
It’s funny how if someone has a flaw on their face, perhaps a mole, wart, etc., our eyes are naturally drawn to it and we can’t look at them without zeroing in on it.
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Dear Daniel “Groucho” Wordslinger,
Funny how we can zero in on one particular trait of a person, isn’t it? Unfortunately it can be so distracting that you don’t really hear what the person’s saying. I remember some of the old sayings about a gap between the teeth but am not at liberty to share them here. We run a family friendly Friday Fictioneers. 😉 Well I must get back to riveting my Kia with a few choice words to the wall and then go brush my teeth.
Shalom,
Rosie “The Word Riveter” W(T)F
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Dear Rosie “The Word Riveter” W(T)F,
Yeah, some people even make jokes about people’s height (or lack thereof), can you believe that? I’m glad you run a family friendly shop here, although I’m surprized at the number of “Paul Lyndes” in the Hollywood Squares Author Block whose mind instantly conjured up dirty visual images when viewing The Gap.
Daniel “Groucho” (the clean) Wordslinger
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Dear Daniel “Groucho” Wordslinger,
How dare people make fun of other people for their lack of height. I’ll stand on a ladder and give them what-for! And Perry is Perry. Some things can’t be changed.
Shalom,
Rosie “The Word Riveter” W(T)F
Of the Shoeheight Tribe
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You’re right about Perry. He could serve as principal at The Academy.
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Haha! Love your chracter Marta and somehow you’ve fleshed her out in so few words – that Kia parking just worls a treat. And you with the mentality of a five year old? Never! 🙂
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Marta’s all there–except for The Gap, of course.
Right now, my mentality is closer to four and a half, but I’m hoping to hit five by my seventieth birthday.
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Haha! Don’t rush to grow up, now! 🙂
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It’s so easy to be distracted by some kind of unusual feature, be it gappy teeth, elephant ears, three legs or whatever! Excellent.
Click to read my FriFic!
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Yes, we’re lucky she didn’t have a third eye in her forehead. That would have been really distracting.
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Dear Big Nose, I like that bomb-making is discouraged, but not actually forbidden.
Failure to get it right will certainly burn the lesson of any little mistakes deep into the memory, and perhaps out the other side.
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Dear Big Scot,
We wouldn’t want to stifle the little tykes creativity. I’m sure they’ll figure out how to blow something up. Perhaps that’s how Marta’s gap got so wide.
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ha-ha-ha! There’s certainly no gap in your jokes! 😀 (displays toothy grin)
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I’m glad it’s a toothy grin instead of a picket-fence grin. We have several of those in Arkansas.
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Oh my goodness, I’m going to have a hard time getting that image out of my head “room to park Brad’s Kia and still open both doors.” Too funny.
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Thanks, Mandie. For our next trick, we’ll try parallel parking.
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My granddaughter has a noticable gap but as she’s only three I won’t be sendig you her picture.
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I bet when her adult teeth come in they will fill everything out. My granddaughters have some gaps too.
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While growing up I had a great gap between my front teeth. It was perfect to force water through and douce my sisters. Fun piece, as always.
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I used to like to squish jello between my teeth. What fun.
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Such great fun! I loved your last line- I guess, people only made fun of her, behind her back. 🙂
Great story.
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Let’s hope so. I’m sure Marta is keenly aware of The Gap. No need to rub it in her face–so to speak.
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Oh no!
I apologise.
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Good Job! Enjoyed thinking of the time I mentioned to my students about how much trouble you could get into by reading or owning or even searching for a copy of a certain book on making bombs and such. All of them wanted to know how to get a copy!!!
mine:
https://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2018/01/26/a-whimsical-tale/
Scott
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Things that are forbidden are always the most fun.
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Aren’t they? Yes, the sure are.
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I used to teach six-year-olds and you’re doing great with the five-year-old persona, Russell. I read about a model who used to carry a little fake piece of tooth to fill in her gap. These days it probably wouldn’t matter. Most models frown or have a dead expression anyway. They’re probably thinking about how hungry they are. Great writing, Russell. 😀 — Suzanne
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Thanks for the affirmation on my child-mind persona. Hours with your nose stuck in a circle on a chalkboard helps get the creative juices flowing.
Those poor models (stick girls, I call them) are queasy from throwing up all the time to stay so skinny.
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Ha.. there is one thing I cannot live by at work and that is learning from “best practice”…. learning from “worst practice” is way better.
As for the gap I would start to think of the things that would get stuck between the teeth… a deer or leg of lamb would not be enough I think.
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I like that. Let’s write a book about “Worst Practices” I bet it would sell tens of copies.
I wonder what Marta uses to floss. A 2 x 4?
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What about one of those rotating car-wash brushes?
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You’ve managed to endear me to Marta. Can I meet her in person? 😉
Yes, you do a grand job thinking like a 5-year-old.
Another hilarious piece. 😁
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I’m glad you like Marta. I think she’s a sweet girl. She’s fictional, but I’m sure there are hundreds of people with huge gaps out there smiling at the world. Walk up to one of them and give them a hug.
My 5-year-old mind thanks you for the kind words.
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I’m not a ‘huggy’ person, especially not with strangers, so I’ll smile and wave at such people instead.
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“Think like a five year old”
Invaluable advice!
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It has served me well.
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Hilarious! Your imagery is so good it stay with you forever! Great job, my friend.
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