What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Wardrobe Malfunction
Last night, Connie and I were talking about commercials targeting seniors (i.e. old people). In those thrillling days of yesteryear, each product had its own catch phrase or clever jingle that etched its way into your brain cells never to be forgotten. How many of you remember such clasics as, “Plop, plop, fizz, fizz” and “Please don’t squeeze the Charmin.”
My mother was a soap opera addict. Their progression of ads went something like this; Denture adhesive (we all have to eat), followed by constipation or diarrhea (take your pick), and finishing up with toliet paper (the job is never over until the paperwork is done). What were some of your favorites from the 60s and 70s?
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, our advocate for fresh-wiped 100-word stories is Doris Whipple Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the ensemble of practicing fic-titioners in the writers in FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
“Did you hear about Rosa’s faux pas on New Year’s Day?”
“No. She was going to be in the parade in Pasadena, wasn’t she? What happened?”
“Oh she was in the parade all right—on display in all her glory—if you want to call it that.”
“What do you mean?”
“Her float barely made it onto the street when she started shedding her petals—right there on national TV.
“That must have been embarrassing.”
“She claimed it was a wardrobe malfunction, but never blushed, just sat up tall and proud. Now, they’ve named a rose after her—Lady Godiva.”
49 Comments on “Wardrobe Malfunction”
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What's So Funny? 
That’s funny! Lady Godiva!
Unfortunately in my life more of my dates have been called “Lady Godzilla.”
“‘I’d like to buy the world a coke and keep it company.” I’m not buying you one though.
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I bet Lady Godzilla was pretty disappointed when she asked, “Where’s the beef?”
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On display in all her glory. I can only imagine! (Thank goodness.)
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She’s pretty leggy. 🙂
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Ha, ha. I think a favorite of many people was, “Where’s the beef?” I’ve never seen anyone “shed their petals” in the Rose Parade. I doubt she’d sit there long like that. The TV channel broadcasting it would probably have a “technical difficulty”. Good post, Russell. 😀 — Suzanne
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I wrote this from the POV of two other flowers gossiping about Rosa. Maybe that didn’t come across clearly.
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Reblogged this on Musings on Life & Experience and commented:
Another hilarious post by Russell Gayer.
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Thanks, Suzzanne.
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Oh my Rosa! :-0
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I know. I’m blushing for her.
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Hilarious take on the photo! 😀
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Thanks, Morgaine.
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Dear Paul E. Gripp,
Now I keep hearing the old song “Lady Godiva.” Thanks for the ear-worm. I wonder if Rose is wishing she could back-petal? Love your flowery tail. 😉
Shalom,
Doris Whipple “Don’t Squeeze the Charmin” W(T)F
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Paul E. Gripp! BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !
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Dear Doris Whipple W(T)F,
Please accept my condolances. I was saddened to hear that Mr. Whipple had been kidnapped by The Three Bears who were demanding a case of Charmin for his return. Obviously, there’s no way you’d hand over that much squeezible product so rumor has it that The Bears are now using him as a wiping post. Sad.
With all that rough handling, let’s hope his dentures stay put.
Paul E. Gripp
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But can Lady Godiva bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan? Nice one, Russell!
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Yes she can. That Mr. Lincoln rose can’t hold a petal to her.
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Gawd… I am killing myself laughing, here… Brylcream, a little dab’ll do ya!
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Motor oil is motor oil. Pay me now, or pay me later.
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Ha ha ha ha ha.
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🙂
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If it can happen at the Superbowl, it can happen anywhere, I guess. What a lot of fuss we make about nudity!
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It happened to one of the figure skaters at the Olympics too. Big news for a few days.
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Yeah, but she was French, so no one here cared.
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Clever – and funny!
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Thanks, Jill. I look forward to reading you take on the photo.
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i guess she’s a real pro knowing the show must go on no matter what. 🙂
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I think she kind of likes the added attention.
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Exit laughing 🙂
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Thanks, Linda. Smiles are a good thing.
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Haha..love this!
Alka Seltzer had another good one in “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing” . I can still recite two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, on a sesame seed bun; and speaking of beef, “Where is it?”
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Keep after it. You might get a job writing jingles for a burger chain. 🙂 Who knows, you could be the next Barry Manilow.
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Rosa must be quite something – even Fall timed it right 😀 Nicely done Russell
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I wonder if they put dahlias on some of those floats?
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😀
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Good thing that she didn’t have a bad hair day… it can always be worse.
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That’s true, Bjorn. She would have looked like a tramp then.
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Haha! Is it ever really a wardrobe malfunction if the person is an exhibitionist? I was just waiting for you to say Rosa is one of the last people you’d want to see au naturale. That’s usually how it works. Fun story!
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You’d expect to see denuded flowers like that at Walmart, but not in the Rose Parade. I think she is a bit of an exhibitionist.
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So funny. If you’ve got it, flaunt it. And if you haven’t and you don’t care, have a go anyway 🙂
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Amen. Some people are far too self-conscious.
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Haha! very good. A wardroobe malfunction and she brazened it out – certainly a way to get noticed!
My UK references will probably pass you by – ‘I’m a secret lemonade drinker,’ (R Whites lemonade) and ‘It’s too orangey for crows, it’s just for me and me dog – I’ll be your dog!’ (Kia-Ora, awful day-glo soft drink where the ad is better than the drink!) Sounds mad unless you were there … 🙂
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Those were hilarious, Lynn. Thanks for sharing.
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My pleasure – chuns of my childhood there 🙂
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What a great story. Good for her!
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It made her famous. At least for a few minutes.
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You should be sent to Coventry for this, Russell.
(This double allusion might be too trans-Atlantic for Colonial comprehension)
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When I first read your comment, I thought you were suggesting I should be sent to a Convent. Next, you’ll be telling that old joke about what kind of meat priest eat on Fridays.
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I plead the Fifth
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