What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Footwork
Good news! Prunes are making a comeback. This shriveled fruit has long been maligned because her name is similar to that snob, Prude. But last night, I saw a new TV ad where a group of active, young people were fighting over a bag of prunes like it was the second coming of Doritos.
My mother served our family stewed prunes when I was a kid. After reconstituting the dried fruit in boiling water, she would refrigerate the gooey conglomeration for at least 24 hours before sneaking it onto the table. I remember fishing lumps out of the purplish-brown sludge and thinking, “This doesn’t taste like stew.”
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the 100-word chef, who can constitute a story from even the most ancient, dried-up photograph, is Matilda Brady Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the ensemble of practicing fic-titioners in the writers in FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
“Hi, Blanche. Long time no see. What’ve you been up to?”
“Working. I got a part-time job at the boxing place.”
“Isn’t that owned by Amazon? What do you do there, package items in cardboard containers?”
“Oh no, Marge. It isn’t that kind of boxing. It’s a place where young men with firm, muscular bodies workout in silk underwear.”
“Really? That sounds interesting. What’s your job?”
“I’m a dance instructor.”
“These men dance? Like Chippendales?”
“I wish, but no. I just help with their footwork.”
“What happens if they try to get fresh with you?”
“Pow! Right in the kisser.”
58 Comments on “Footwork”
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What's So Funny? 
Interesting play on words and how saying a certain thing, a certain way, can give a whole nother impression.
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That’s the weird thing about the English language. One word can mean three different things.
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Two examples that always occur to me are Military rank (Private, corporal, major, general); and Philosophy classroom causality (formal, material, efficient, final). In other contexts, each of those words, means something else completely.
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Great examples, Larry. Some of those are 180 degrees from each other.
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I can just see Blanche enjoying her work.
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Maybe too much. 🙂
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Great take. It does sound like a great place to work – at least for the scenery!
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and the aroma of testosterone.
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I want Blanche’s job!
Great intro, as per usual. I could NEVER understand my mother’s joy (?) at eating that disgusting mess. I, on the other hand, do enjoy non-reconstituted dried prunes – the are like over-sized raisins… and well, let’s face it, they do help with the flow of things… eh? I’ll never forget my Hawaiian cruise. It was definitely a powder-head one. I think the average age was about 75. and that’s coz young-uns like us (39-40) brought the average down. Well, anyway, at breakfast, there are always bowls of fruit, in this case those bowls included stewed prunes. That sucker got refilled three times per morn!
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I hope you left a few for the older crowd. 🙂
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Although Blanche’s job sounds silly it actually makes sense. We remember the great Mohammed Ali dancing around in the ring. I suspect the term “silk underwear” gives Blanche’s true attitude away. Hilarious, Russell. 😀 — Suzanne
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I thought about going with boxer shorts, but that seemed redundant. Silk was a popular material for boxing trunks for a long time. They probably use rayon or some other man-made fabric these days.
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Don’t mess with Blanche! Do boxers really have dance lessons? Like football players? I really hope they do.
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I don’t know about working out in ballet slippers, but I do know they spend a lot of time working on their footwork.
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Great story, Russell! Kicked in the kisser for getting fresh? Ouch! (I take it Blanche could high-kick with the best!)
Your pieces always make me smile.
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She’s got an impressive right hook too.
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Sounds like a great place to work! 😁
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I suppose it has it’s advantages. Probably more fun than Burger King.
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Is this place hiring? 🙂
I saw packages of dried plums which sounds better than prunes but they are one and the same 🙂
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From the comments, I’m getting the impression that “dance instructor” is a highly sought after position. 🙂
Yes, dried plums does sound gentler. I’ve never heard anyone say, “She’s as wrinkled as a dried plum.”
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Dear Cassius Clayfeet,
I’m pretty sure I left a comment earlier. Perhaps it’s in your spam folder. Perhaps I saved it to my invisible box, I’m not sure. At any rate here’s the rerun. Blanche doesn’t have a bad job at all. Perhaps I could stop by and help her with come choreography.
As for prunes, my mom used to stew them and then pour milk or even half and half over them. I really liked them. That might explain my fast and loose childhood.
Ding! Round over! Story KO
Shalom,
Matilda Brady W(T)F
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Dear Matilda Brady W(T)F,
I suppose you could teach a class on waltzing, right? I’m sure it includes the “box step” or in your case, the “invisible box” step.
I knew you would be a prune lover. After all, they are made from PURPLE fruit!
Float like a butterfly, sting like a gnat
Cassius Clayfeet
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You know when you put it that way, boxing does sound like something worth watching. 😉 Sounds like a dream job!
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Well, I wouldn’t go that far. I imagine the smell in that gym can be atrocious at times.
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I liked the conclusion just made the place all the better to work in.
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Glad you liked it. Thanks for visiting and leaving such a nice comment.
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Add me to the list of prospective employees to fill in for Blanche! A fun story, as always. She is quite a character.
On the subjects of prunes, add me to the “No thanks” camp. But a nice ripe plum is yummy!
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There appears to be quite a line, Karen. But you can still put your name on the list.
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I love prunes. Not stewed, just in their natural state.:)
Hot young men working out in silk underwear? Can I sign up to be their therapist?
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Put your name on the sign-up sheet. You’ll be right behind Karen.
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I ‘uppose ‘ou ‘hink ‘hat’s ‘unny.
Never be impolite to a lady, as a fist in the gub sometimes offends.
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Nah, the unly ‘unny part is the pruunes.
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Now I think I will stew some prunes… it’s actually good I think…
Love the different meaning of boxer here.
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I liked them too. Haven’t had any since I left home, but have drank some prune juice.
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“These men dance? Like Chippendales?” Now THAT might be an interesting group to help with their choreography.
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Well, the are firm and fully packed, Lish. Although some may be missing a few teeth.
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Ha! As an ex-dental office worker, I find teeth key (especially front teeth), no matter how fully packed and firm.
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she must be enjoying all the “attention” she’s getting. way to go, girl. 🙂
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Yes, I think she does enjoy the close contact with all the “manly” men.
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A girl after my own heart – likes to look but choosy who touches.
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It doesn’t matter where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home.
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I think Blanche is getting the very best from her job. And giving it her all when required.
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I wonder if she teaches the Cowboy Shuffle?
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I liked your brief story about boxer. It had a great punch line at the end.
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Thank you. Nice pun.
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Amazon, silk underware, punch in the kisser. Very funny, not quite LOL, but I’m still smiling.
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Even Babe Ruth didn’t hit a home run every time at bat. Smiles are far better than frowns.
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Great conversation. Such natural and funny mis-hearing on the boxing front, and good to hear Blanche is ready to fend off any unwelcome advances!
As for prunes, I love dried ones straight from the jar. I try to kid myself they’re healthier than cookies, but they’re so sweet I think I’m deluded.
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I’m deluded too, and proud of it. In fact, I’m a big proponent of Grand Delusions or Delusions of Grandeur, whichever you prefer.
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my grandma made prunes of the plums from two old trees beyond the pasture. in later life, her stewed prunes would contain the odd pit, a danger to the molars. cheers.
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Yes, I’ve stumbled across a few stones in the stewed prunes too. A great lesson to be learned there.
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I like Blanche!
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Maybe she’d let you fill in on her day off.
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I don’t know, I think the lady protests too much – sounds like she enjoyed the sight of all those silk undies to me! Put a smile on my face, Russell, as did your prune newsflash. Though I think we’re ahead of the curve here – been enjoying the pleasure of these aged plums for some while now. Hurray for brown sludge
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Yes, I imagine Blanche’s imagination (and fantasies) were running wild.
Glad you enjoyed the prune-flash. They are quite tasty. I’m glad they’re in vogue again.
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I do love a prune. 🙂
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She floats like a butterfly, stings like a bee.
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Blanche, a woman after my own heart! Love it. @sheilamgood at Cow Pasture Chronicles
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