Russell Gayer, author speaker
Good news! Prunes are making a comeback. This shriveled fruit has long been maligned because her name is similar to that snob, Prude. But last night, I saw a new TV ad where a group of active, young people were fighting over a bag of prunes like it was the second coming of Doritos.
My mother served our family stewed prunes when I was a kid. After reconstituting the dried fruit in boiling water, she would refrigerate the gooey conglomeration for at least 24 hours before sneaking it onto the table. I remember fishing lumps out of the purplish-brown sludge and thinking, “This doesn’t taste like stew.”
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the 100-word chef, who can constitute a story from even the most ancient, dried-up photograph, is Matilda Brady Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the ensemble of practicing fic-titioners in the writers in FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
“Hi, Blanche. Long time no see. What’ve you been up to?”
“Working. I got a part-time job at the boxing place.”
“Isn’t that owned by Amazon? What do you do there, package items in cardboard containers?”
“Oh no, Marge. It isn’t that kind of boxing. It’s a place where young men with firm, muscular bodies workout in silk underwear.”
“Really? That sounds interesting. What’s your job?”
“I’m a dance instructor.”
“These men dance? Like Chippendales?”
“I wish, but no. I just help with their footwork.”
“What happens if they try to get fresh with you?”
“Pow! Right in the kisser.”
Poetry, Horror, Psychological Thrillers
Stories From Within
Finding ways to make words sparkle
This is the blog of a woman who is seriously on the edge and I mean right ON the edge…no, not there… just a little bit further… further than that…no, further still…just a tiny bit more… just move slightly to the right a little…no, that’s too much…just move a tad to the left…that’s right, just there…now you’ve moved too far to the left… Damn, what part of the ‘on the edge’ do you not understand? Oh, and her matricidal boy genius, come devil spawn.
Or the three people I guilted into reading this blog, whatever.
Growing older is inevitable. Growing up is optional.
I may make you feel, but I can't make you think.
All the Blogging That's Fit To Print
AS I TOLD THE GIRL THAT I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO, THANKS FOR LAUGHING AT ME HERE TODAY.
A Humor Blog
Stylistically Abusing Language for the Betterment of Mankind
Straight up with a twist– Because life is too short to be subtle!
An author's perspective of mystery and more.
And the worst things. And all that weird stuff in between.
Interesting play on words and how saying a certain thing, a certain way, can give a whole nother impression.
LikeLiked by 2 people
That’s the weird thing about the English language. One word can mean three different things.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Two examples that always occur to me are Military rank (Private, corporal, major, general); and Philosophy classroom causality (formal, material, efficient, final). In other contexts, each of those words, means something else completely.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great examples, Larry. Some of those are 180 degrees from each other.
LikeLike
I can just see Blanche enjoying her work.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Maybe too much. 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Great take. It does sound like a great place to work – at least for the scenery!
LikeLiked by 1 person
and the aroma of testosterone.
LikeLike
I want Blanche’s job!
Great intro, as per usual. I could NEVER understand my mother’s joy (?) at eating that disgusting mess. I, on the other hand, do enjoy non-reconstituted dried prunes – the are like over-sized raisins… and well, let’s face it, they do help with the flow of things… eh? I’ll never forget my Hawaiian cruise. It was definitely a powder-head one. I think the average age was about 75. and that’s coz young-uns like us (39-40) brought the average down. Well, anyway, at breakfast, there are always bowls of fruit, in this case those bowls included stewed prunes. That sucker got refilled three times per morn!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I hope you left a few for the older crowd. 🙂
LikeLike
Although Blanche’s job sounds silly it actually makes sense. We remember the great Mohammed Ali dancing around in the ring. I suspect the term “silk underwear” gives Blanche’s true attitude away. Hilarious, Russell. 😀 — Suzanne
LikeLiked by 1 person
I thought about going with boxer shorts, but that seemed redundant. Silk was a popular material for boxing trunks for a long time. They probably use rayon or some other man-made fabric these days.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Don’t mess with Blanche! Do boxers really have dance lessons? Like football players? I really hope they do.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t know about working out in ballet slippers, but I do know they spend a lot of time working on their footwork.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great story, Russell! Kicked in the kisser for getting fresh? Ouch! (I take it Blanche could high-kick with the best!)
Your pieces always make me smile.
LikeLiked by 1 person
She’s got an impressive right hook too.
LikeLike
Sounds like a great place to work! 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
I suppose it has it’s advantages. Probably more fun than Burger King.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Is this place hiring? 🙂
I saw packages of dried plums which sounds better than prunes but they are one and the same 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
From the comments, I’m getting the impression that “dance instructor” is a highly sought after position. 🙂
Yes, dried plums does sound gentler. I’ve never heard anyone say, “She’s as wrinkled as a dried plum.”
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Cassius Clayfeet,
I’m pretty sure I left a comment earlier. Perhaps it’s in your spam folder. Perhaps I saved it to my invisible box, I’m not sure. At any rate here’s the rerun. Blanche doesn’t have a bad job at all. Perhaps I could stop by and help her with come choreography.
As for prunes, my mom used to stew them and then pour milk or even half and half over them. I really liked them. That might explain my fast and loose childhood.
Ding! Round over! Story KO
Shalom,
Matilda Brady W(T)F
LikeLiked by 2 people
Dear Matilda Brady W(T)F,
I suppose you could teach a class on waltzing, right? I’m sure it includes the “box step” or in your case, the “invisible box” step.
I knew you would be a prune lover. After all, they are made from PURPLE fruit!
Float like a butterfly, sting like a gnat
Cassius Clayfeet
LikeLiked by 2 people
You know when you put it that way, boxing does sound like something worth watching. 😉 Sounds like a dream job!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, I wouldn’t go that far. I imagine the smell in that gym can be atrocious at times.
LikeLike
I liked the conclusion just made the place all the better to work in.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Glad you liked it. Thanks for visiting and leaving such a nice comment.
LikeLike
Add me to the list of prospective employees to fill in for Blanche! A fun story, as always. She is quite a character.
On the subjects of prunes, add me to the “No thanks” camp. But a nice ripe plum is yummy!
LikeLiked by 1 person
There appears to be quite a line, Karen. But you can still put your name on the list.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love prunes. Not stewed, just in their natural state.:)
Hot young men working out in silk underwear? Can I sign up to be their therapist?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Put your name on the sign-up sheet. You’ll be right behind Karen.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I ‘uppose ‘ou ‘hink ‘hat’s ‘unny.
Never be impolite to a lady, as a fist in the gub sometimes offends.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Nah, the unly ‘unny part is the pruunes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Now I think I will stew some prunes… it’s actually good I think…
Love the different meaning of boxer here.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I liked them too. Haven’t had any since I left home, but have drank some prune juice.
LikeLike
“These men dance? Like Chippendales?” Now THAT might be an interesting group to help with their choreography.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, the are firm and fully packed, Lish. Although some may be missing a few teeth.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha! As an ex-dental office worker, I find teeth key (especially front teeth), no matter how fully packed and firm.
LikeLike
she must be enjoying all the “attention” she’s getting. way to go, girl. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, I think she does enjoy the close contact with all the “manly” men.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A girl after my own heart – likes to look but choosy who touches.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It doesn’t matter where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home.
LikeLike
I think Blanche is getting the very best from her job. And giving it her all when required.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I wonder if she teaches the Cowboy Shuffle?
LikeLike
I liked your brief story about boxer. It had a great punch line at the end.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. Nice pun.
LikeLike
Amazon, silk underware, punch in the kisser. Very funny, not quite LOL, but I’m still smiling.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Even Babe Ruth didn’t hit a home run every time at bat. Smiles are far better than frowns.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great conversation. Such natural and funny mis-hearing on the boxing front, and good to hear Blanche is ready to fend off any unwelcome advances!
As for prunes, I love dried ones straight from the jar. I try to kid myself they’re healthier than cookies, but they’re so sweet I think I’m deluded.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m deluded too, and proud of it. In fact, I’m a big proponent of Grand Delusions or Delusions of Grandeur, whichever you prefer.
LikeLiked by 1 person
my grandma made prunes of the plums from two old trees beyond the pasture. in later life, her stewed prunes would contain the odd pit, a danger to the molars. cheers.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, I’ve stumbled across a few stones in the stewed prunes too. A great lesson to be learned there.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like Blanche!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Maybe she’d let you fill in on her day off.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t know, I think the lady protests too much – sounds like she enjoyed the sight of all those silk undies to me! Put a smile on my face, Russell, as did your prune newsflash. Though I think we’re ahead of the curve here – been enjoying the pleasure of these aged plums for some while now. Hurray for brown sludge
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, I imagine Blanche’s imagination (and fantasies) were running wild.
Glad you enjoyed the prune-flash. They are quite tasty. I’m glad they’re in vogue again.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I do love a prune. 🙂
LikeLike
She floats like a butterfly, stings like a bee.
LikeLike
Blanche, a woman after my own heart! Love it. @sheilamgood at Cow Pasture Chronicles
LikeLike