Russell Gayer, author speaker
Have you ever predicted something ridiculous and had it come true? A couple of weeks ago, I hinted at possible collusion between our fearless leader and her Canadian cohort (neither of whom are Trump fans).
Apparently, my comment started a war of words between our two countries. A Trump advisor said, “There’s a special place in Hell for Justin Trudeau.” The implication here is that the current U.S. administration has an intimate connection with the Netherworld, and can reserve “special accommodations” for young, dashingly handsome leaders who have nice hair. This calls for a wall—as soon as the Canadians can empty enough Molson bottles to erect one.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, our double-naught spy who encrypts secret messages in 100 word posts is Rosa Klebb Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the ensemble of practicing fic-titioners in the writers in FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
Justin, have you noticed that strange bird outside our window?
Do you mean the one with the audio receptor attached to its head, Sophie?
Oh, I thought that was a plume.
No, the bird’s a drone. And those beady little eyes are cameras.
Who would be spying on us?
I suspect it’s our neighbor, Snidely Badhair.
What do you think he’s after? Classified information? Intelligence gathering?
No, although he could use some intelligence. We have our own bird spy—a loon.
What have you learned?
Nothing. When we ask him to repeat what he heard he just starts laughing.
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This is the blog of a woman who is seriously on the edge and I mean right ON the edge…no, not there… just a little bit further… further than that…no, further still…just a tiny bit more… just move slightly to the right a little…no, that’s too much…just move a tad to the left…that’s right, just there…now you’ve moved too far to the left… Damn, what part of the ‘on the edge’ do you not understand? Oh, and her matricidal boy genius, come devil spawn.
Or the three people I guilted into reading this blog, whatever.
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Dear Walter Snarky,
Jalapeño on a Stick tells me there is something strange going on in your mud hole. As for intelligence, I fear it’s a thing of the past. I’m sending my best loon drone your direction. Keep digging. I’ve got my purple wall-climbers at the ready. As always we’re shaken but are we stirred?
Shalom
Rosa Klebb W(T)F
Colonel, chief of cat herding.
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Just you be careful with that Loon drone… they don’t come cheap, yanno… the tariffs alone are hellish…
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Dear Rosa Klebb W(T)F,
I’m sure Congress will appoint a special investigator to dig deeper into what you two have been doing (as I have only scratched the surface). He’ll spend the next four years recording testimony and scratching his balls before deciding to do nothing–all at the tax payers expense.
Careful with those drones. I’ve got a shotgun and the current administration has agreed to fund me with an endless supply of ammo.
Walter Snarky
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Rosa! Have you seen the blurb about Jose Jalapeno on a Stick from years and years ago? It was a hoot.
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No I haven’t. Do you have a link?
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http://www.cc.com/video-clips/asf1io/comedy-central-presents-walter—marriage Try this…
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Nope! Sorry. I just google Jose Jalapeno on a stick.
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That made me laugh. Which I guess was the plan. Well done
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Thank, Neil. That was indeed the plan.
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Hell is going to be overcrowded if Mr Trudeau is there!
There’s a suspicious-looking bird peering in my window 🙂
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Beware of the bird. Maybe Henri can take him out before he gets too much info on you.
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An accurate description of cross-border relationships. The political world can’t get much weirder than what’s really happened over the last week, so why not have spy birds?
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Let’s hope the Canadians don’t impose tarrifs on their blended whisky. That would be the straw that stirs the drink.
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Any relationship to a Mr Whiplash?
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No, but he’s a half-brother to Boris Badenov.
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Ha ha – great story – gave me a good laugh! Thank you!
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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You’re welcome. We love the sound of laughter.
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Too funny! Snildely Badhair….lol
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I take it you know him?
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Thankfully, not personally.
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He misspelled my name.
Yours etc
Cnid Elybad Ayr
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Great story.
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Thank you, Lisa.
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maybe that was what the bird spy really heard — all the laughing behind the scenes. 🙂
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No, it was just so inane he couldn’t repeat it without laughing.
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Reblogged this on Musings on Life & Experience and commented:
Another hilarious two-for-one post from Russell. Enjoy and if you love it go to BOOKS at the top of the blog where you can order two of Russell’s containing more hilarity.
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Thank you (again & again) Suzanne. 🙂
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You’re most welcome, Russell. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Who’d a thunk you’d predict such a thing?
We Canadians won’t be pushed around… And after being called all that Trump called him, Justin could have used his Dad’s line to Nixon: “I’ve been worse things by better people”…
And a friend of mine posted this today: Ever watch that movie Love Actually? Weren’t some scenes just too way out there to be believable?
Like that scene with Hugh Grant and Billy Bob Thornton. Who would believe that a young good-looking prime minister would stand up to a bullying (and horny) President of the United States? I mean…that’s crazy!! There’s no way we would see something like that happen in real life, would there…?
And yeah… there would be a lot of laughing going on…
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Well, truth is stranger than fiction, and Trump is even stranger than that.
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There is that…
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Maybe now they’ll offer me my own cable news show. You can be my guest commentator from across the border, but can only speak in French (none of which I could understand). This would make for a great interview. 🙂
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What a weird world we’re living in. And nothing weirder than recent events. Loved the audio receptor reference.
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As Jim Morrison sang, “People are strange . . .”
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Thanks for my first chuckle of the day!
Click to read my FriFic tale
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Let’s hope you chuckle many more times before bedtime.
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Ha… I cannot stop thinking of a laughing loon… no intelligence to gather.
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It almost seems like a wasted trip, doesn’t it?
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It wasn’t until I found a video of the loon’s call on youtube that I got the point of this story. One thing’s sure – after Trump’s presidency the world will be a different place…
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Different is a good word. I’m sure for act two, he will amend the U.S. constitution to remove term limits on the presidency so he can become dictator for life.
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Oh my gosh, Russell. Hilarious and so very clever. What a great way to start my day. You fulfilled the huge challenge of finding something to laugh about in this alternate reality. 🙂
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That’s, Jan. Politics is easy to parody. They do something stupid every day. 🙂
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Your humour is too clever – or too American – for me, but I still read it, which proves something.
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In either event, I appreciate you reading and leaving a comment. We Americans do some pretty silly things.
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Snidely Badhair! I’m a lucky girl – I had nothing in my mouth when I read that. Actually, maybe it’s my computer that is lucky. Thanks for the laugh.
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I think he’s very jealous of Justin Trudeau’s hair. I know I am. 🙂
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I’m jealous Canada has Justin Trudeau and the U.S. doesn’t. He has brains, speaks well and ain’t hard to look at.
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As they say, “He’s easy on the eyes.”
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Snidely Badhair, now who could that be? Very funny story.
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There’s only one person I can think of who fits that description. Glad you enjoyed it, Jilly.
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Sounds like the bird spy is having fun at least keeping an eye on Snidley Badhair, which isn’t necessarily a good thing!
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Maybe he’s easily amused. 🙂
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I thought you were writing fiction, and there you are, turning journalist. Thanks for the laughter.
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Ha! I guess it was meant to be. Glad you got a chuckle from it, Gabi.
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Snidely Badhair? Haha! Love it. And yes, some intelligence is badly needed, but to be fair, it’s not just needed by Mr Badhair – we have a few leaders who could do with an extra helping too. Made me smile Russell
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