What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Mime-staken Identity
Recently I wrote a book review on a “coming of age” story. You can find it here. These stories are quite popular as most readers can connect with the rites of passage associated with growing up.
But what about growing old? Why are there no coming of “old age” stories? What are some rites of passage associated with that transformation? I’m considering writing a story based on this premise and would love to hear your ideas.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the forever-young thespian who facilitates 100-word stories is Lily Putian Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the ensemble of practicing fic-titioners in the writers in FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
Detective Lowry pulled to the curb and studied the house. Other than the police tape, it looked like every other cookie-cutter home in the subdivision.
Officer Jim Whetstone greeted Lowry with a big grin. “The trap worked. We caught your burglar.”
Lowry glanced at the cage and shook his head. “I don’t think so, Jim. It’s a strange creature all right, but it’s not a mime. What did you use for bait?”
“An inside-out umbrella and a half-eaten donut.”
“Next time, staple a dozen Do-Not-Remove tags to the bottom of that chair and throw in a box of Shredded Wheat.”
66 Comments on “Mime-staken Identity”
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What's So Funny? 
I’m happy the mime didn’t fall for this trap! 🙂
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She’s a sly one, this mime. There’s no way she’d ever fall for a half-eaten donut, but a dozen Do-Not-Remove tags will make her little gloved-fingers twitch with desire.
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A mime is a terrible thing to bait.
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The real question is, what do you do with one once you catch it? Turn it loose on a deserted island? Ship it to Siberia? Elect it to Congress?
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Make him/her build a box. A windy box. With a rope that goes nowhere. They’ll be flummoxed.
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But what if she farts inside the box? She might suffocate.
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Send her to an island in the South Pacific. Don’t forget to throw snorkel gear in that invisible box. 😉
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Nah, the vote is in. Washington DC it is.
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Officer Jim has a lot to learn if he is to be of any help.
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Yeah, and it would help if he’d stop eating half the bait before he puts it in the trap.
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The only mime they were likely to trap was Marcel So-so. As of “coming of old age” stories, that’s all I ever write!
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Yes, you are the Subject Matter Expert when it comes to aging. Perhaps I’ll write an unauthorized biography of Perry Block. I’m sure readers are dying to know about the first time you wore your pants above your naval and the joys of short term memory.
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This made me laugh. I love the bait – Who can resist some do-not-remove tags? Ha.
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Only one mime that I can think of . . . .
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Bwahahahahaha.
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I’m still trying to figure out what they caught with the umbrella and half-eaten donut. 😀 — Suzanne
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I have no idea what that creature is but let’s hope they turn it loose somewhere far from civilization–like in outer space.
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I am going to pretend I understood some of this, so please take this as an appreciative comment.
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Forget the so-called story C.E. and share some personal memories about coming of old age.
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In the year 2069 I attained my seniority, and became officially older but, surprisingly given the low start point, no wiser.
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That is some bait not even a mime can resist.
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Yes, she’s probably comptemplating how she can snatch the tags without tripping the trap’s trigger.
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Never underestimate the power of a stealth mime on a mission.
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I see the problem. The cage needs to be invisible. No self respecting mime would be caught dead in a real cage, but an invisible one will get them every time. Once that is solved, I think you need to go off and read Dr. Seuss “Your Only Old Once”….
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The problem is she’s got sticky fingers. She already stolen one invisible box, dozens of Do-Not-Remove tags, and been on a cereal killing rampage.
Thanks for the tip on Dr. Seuss, Trent. I greatly admire his work.
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Dear James Beam,
I love the idea of a coming of old age story. Just think, we’re part of the Never Trust Anyone Over 30 generation and now we’re over twice that. Sigh.
Not sure why I feel like there’s a target on my back. Must be flaming purple. 😉 So I raise my invisible goblet in a toast. L’chaim y’all.
Rrrrrip there goes another do not remove tag!
Shalom,
Lily Putian W(T)F
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Dear Lily Putian W(T)F,
I fear this case may take several seasons to solve, sort of like that old TV show The Fugitive. Pursuing criminal mimes is akin to rabbit hunting, the real fun is in the chase. Once you nail ’em the fun is over.
As for old age, I can just picture Perry with the waistband of his pants tucked securely under his armpits. Of course, he’s probably worn them that way since age 12.
Glad my name isn’t Gulliver,
James Beam
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Well, well, well…I never expected to come here and find a story that has great instruction on how to catch a mime. I also now know what doesn’t work. I might just have to put out some bait and see if it works.
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The real question is; What do you do with one once you catch it? They’re harder to get rid of than Ebola.
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if you ask a mime what’s the best way to catch her, i don’t you’ll get an answer. 🙂
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All you get is hand signals and I’m not too good at reading sign language.
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Ahhh … yet another police/donut insinuation.They’ll never live those donuts down.
A mime with no taste for sweets. What has the world of mimes come to???!!!
Isadora 😎
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Naturally, Officer Whetstone ate half the donut before setting the trap. That’s what cops do.
This particular mime would prefer a bale of hay and no sugar.
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Oh, I can see the mime pulling out her tiny scissors, even as we speak!
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Let’s hope she’s not carrying a box knife. But you’re right–whatever she’s carrying will be tiny.
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I’m not sure the Shredded Wheat would work – Weetabix is a better choice.
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I’d never heard of Weetabix until now–so I Googled it. Yes, I can see how that would be a good fit.
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All I can hear is Captain Kirk saying “I don’t think so, Jim” – then realised it wasn’t him but Al telling Tim the Toolman Taylor “I don’t think so, Tim”…
Either way, no way it’s gonna be that easy to catch this Mime… she is way onto you…
And I love the Coming of Old Age Story… think it’ll catch on, in my opinion…
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Thanks for picking up on my parody of Al & Tim the Toolman. I had wondered if anyone would notice. One thing about old age, you can run from it, but you can’t hide. Also, it seems like it sneaks up on you while you’re busy doing something else, then BAM! one morning you wake up old.
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Yay!! So glad I did…
No kidding… plus the knees won’t let you get very far anyway…
It is scary fast for sure.
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A very amusing story and also your comments. I enjoy reading them as well. Please do write something on “coming of ‘old age’ stories.” You’re right, there seems to be very little written on this. I’ll give it some thought and see if there’s anything there to contribute. Have a great weekend, Russell! =)
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Thank you, Brenda. I’ve been told on more than one occassion that the comments are often more funny that the story. I love that. It means we’re connecting, and that’s what humor should do, bring people together.
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Maybe some unpopped bubble wrap next time?
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Ohhh, I like that.
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Err nothing in purple? Love the idea of coming of old age story 😀
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Good idea. Maybe we should toss something purple in there too.
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Next time try trapping her in an invisible building with invisible windows. She might be able to resist Do Not Remove tags but a mime can’t resist cleaning a window. Just add invisible exploding squeegee and you’ve got her.
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Wow, those are a lot of accessories. Mimes are so needy.
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First of all, love the “fictitioner” title for participants here. Sounds very authoritative, like M.D. after a name. But of course the letters would have to be F.F..😊
On the mime question I like the idea of sending him to DC. Certain personages (as well as the world)might benefit from being trained to mime, rather than talk, although sadly these skills won’t translate to twitter.
Love the idea of catching a mime, though i kept imagining the difficulty of peeling up thise stickers with gloves on. Seems cruel somehow.
Great thought provoking write, producing many entertaining comments!
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How do you like being in the Hollywood Squares Author block, Andrea? It does make you somewhat of a celebrity you know. It could lead to greater fame and fortune. Who knows, someday you may be on the cover of The National Inquirer.
I think a mime in Washington would do us good. I can see them been especially effective at foriegn policy–although they’ll still need a translator.
The tags have one end sewn into a seam and the rest flaps in the breeze like a flag. I checked my pillow yesterday and it’s tag was still there–so we’ve been mime free–at least for the time being.
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So the mime is still on the loose, wreaking soundless havoc! I wonder what kind of creature has been trapped inside that cage. Obviously someone/something hungry enough to eat a half-eaten donut.
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I’d rather eat someone else’s half-finished donut than Shredded Wheat!
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Me too. 🙂
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With a bit of sugar, shredded wheat isn’t bad. 😉
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Fun story, Russell. I like the ‘Do not remove’ tags as bait.
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She can’t resist those. It’s only a matter of time . . . .
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Fun read.
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Thanks, Lisa.
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I don’t know what is in your cage and I am not about to rattle it to find out.
Now about this “coming of old age” thing….
What are the elements to this type of story?
Enlightenment? A moral?
Seems to me it would be the same as for the younger version, just not as pretty.
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I have written one coming of old age story. It is called “Growing Old is Not For Sissies.”
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Haha…that its not. I occasionally blog about getting older. Here’s one from SIX years ago.
I was just a baby…tsk tsk tsk. 😉
https://lingeringvisions.wordpress.com/2012/11/13/im-too-arrogant-to-get-old-a-continuing-series-on-aging/
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What a great series on aging! I especially enjoyed the part about AARP. I wouldn’t say I’m happy about getting old, but I’m trying to take advantage of every benefit age gives me. It’s ironic that I read your series immediately after sending an email to an Arkansas AARP representative offering my services as a Media & Communications volunteer. 🙂
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Those “do not remove” tags make my fingers itch every time I see them. Many have gone to meet their makers 🙂
On your rites of passage into old age: Since I just reached age 71, I can tell you that it’s not all roses, but it’s not all thorns. Like every other stage of life, there are joys and sorrows. Attitude is everything. I love to laugh 🙂
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Both Connie and I have had surgeries since passing age fifty. Thank the Lord, we’re both in pretty good health now and pray that He will continue to bless us. You’re right, aging comes with it’s own set of challenges, but plenty of good times too.
I’m glad you love to laugh. I feel sorry for those folks to prefer to see the dark side of every silver cloud and live their lives in misery.
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I love the detail of what it takes to catch a mime – who knew?! Let’s hope Whetstone sets the trap properly next time, or maybe not as we want to keep hearing the mime’s stories.
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I’m not too confident about this particular trap, but they are going to have to lure her in somehow. One thing is certain, the mime stories will continue until the case is solved and the invisible box returned to its rightful owner.
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