Expialidocious

Posted on September 19, 2018 by

51 Comments

You may be familiar with the expression, “He’s all thumbs.” Unlike Midas, nothing turns to gold, but is instantly reduced to a pile of rubble by the fumbling touch of this clumsy oaf.

Let’s look at the pros & cons of having ten thumbs:

         Pro                                                Con

         Giving a “thumbs up” sign              Picking your nose

         Hitchhiking                                    Giving prostate exams

         Texting                                          Playing the piano

I’m sure you can think of many more in each category. Your job is to add one or two in the comment section. Let’s see how many we can come up with.              

If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, our diminutive leader, who clutches a purple crayon in her tiny digits, is Thumbelina Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the ensemble of practicing fic-titioners in the writers in FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.

copyright – Dale Rogerson

 

“Wow! Your Aunt Mary has quite a collection of umbrellas.”

“Yes, so many in fact that she’s started her own airline business.”

“You mean online, don’t you?”

“No. These umbrellas are for flying. People rent them to tour the town. It’s so much safer than walking or riding a scooter, and the view is fantastic.”

“That’s interesting. How’s business?”

“It’s really taken off. She has a large number of regular clients—all of whom are women.”

“I’m not surprised. It’s gotta be more comfortable than straddling a broom.”

I apologize for not visiting the sites of everyone who commented on my post last week. Things got crazy from Thursday on. I’ll strive to do better this week. Thanks so much for dropping by and reading.

Category: humorTags: , , , , ,

51 Comments on “Expialidocious”

  1. Dear Tom Thumbthing,

    Methinks you could be opening yourself up for a bit of feminist backlash with that last line. That being said, have you any of those brollies in purple…perhaps one in different shades of the glorious colour.
    PRO – pulling plums from Christmas Pie (thus rendering all ten of them purple) CON – tearing toilet paper. (And how do those bears manage?)

    Shalom,

    Thumbelina W(T)F

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Dear Thumbelina W(T)F,

      I have the greatest admiration for the fairer gender–especially those capable of casting spells. 🙂

      You’ve made a great case for more thumbs with your plum pulling escapade–purple as they may be. As for the con, I’m not an expert on bear hygiene that therefore can’t answer your question.

      Thoughtfully yours,
      Tom Thumbthing

      Like

      Reply

  3. Ouch, you’re brave, unless you’re a committed masochist!

    Pro: easy to gain employment in a thumbscrew testing facility.

    Con: being employed in a thumbscrew testing facility.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Probably more stupid than brave. I expect to be pelted with a barrage of angry arrows, but hey, it’s all in fun.
      I had not considered a career in thumbscrew testing. Let’s hope it doesn’t lead to a hangnail.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  5. PRO – Expert Thumb Painter
    CON – Difficult to develop into any other kind of painting skills.

    Good story, it’s been awhile since witches got an upgrade on their transport.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  6. Congratulations! That last line suggests that you have achieved the near impossible and are now dumber than you look.
    Cons: Unable to communicate the international sign to one’s fellow drivers. Restricted involvement in the great rock n roll anthem One Finger and Thumb

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Thank you, C.E. When you’re naturally handsome, dumbing down is only a small step. 🙂

      Yes, unfortunately your fellow driver’s perceive your thumbs-up as a positive sign that you appreciate their skillful driving.
      How about retitling the Rolling Stones song to, “Under My Thumbs.” This would indicate that you have an entire harem under your domain.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      • The best I can come up with is when I’m thinking about something I do rub my chin with my thumb so it feels kind of relaxing while I’m thinking so that’s the pro. On the con side: thumbs are a very big part of holding items so they are more at risk of getting caught in something and getting injured.

        Like

  11. Oh you are cruising for a bruising…
    PRO: Never running out of pacifiers (we are talking babies, here!)
    CON: Never losing the desire for pacifiers… (leaving that open for discussion)

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

    • Personally, I always thought riding a broom was very demeaning. An umbrella is definitely a step up, and the metal ribs serve as a Wifi antenna. Just think of all the juicy gossip that could be gathered while cruising the neighbor?

      10 thumbs does raise thumb-sucking to a whole new level. (still bad for the teeth).
      I’m not touching the CON. I’m in deep enough water already.

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

    • Well, this way a humongous delay but better late than never. For the pro’s…You mentioned this one already but…here in Asia, the “thumbs up” is a big deal, a good sign. Can you imagine how cool you’d be with ALL thumbs? Also, all thumbs would be very comforting for a closet thumb sucker? For the con’s…it would be difficult to take a pulse and difficult to make the peace sign. =)

      Like

      Reply

  15. Wonderful to read so many Aunt Mary stories this week. I hear America has it’s own Super-Callous Fragile-Egocentric running the roost. Wouldn’t he benefit from a spoonful of sugar?

    PROS: Be an absolute champ at thumb wrestling
    CONS: Holding the trophy might be an issue.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

    • What a hilarious comment (on both issues).
      We definitely have an Egocentric ruling the roost.
      I can just see someone trying to hold that trophy with all thumbs.

      Like

      Reply

  20. Pro – Better odds of having a lush garden.
    Con – Greater risk of injury from attempting to utilize various garden tools.
    I won’t be witchy and point out any defamations. Very funny.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • You can never tell about the gardening thing. I know several people who have a Black Thumb and can’t even maintain fake flowers without the petals falling off. They don’t do well with plastic fruit either. Garden tools are definitely dangerous to those with “all thumbs.”

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  21. I think this friend of Mary’s nephew needs to be careful he’s not overheard by Mary or any of her customers. He’s making wild and crazy assumptions that the move from broom to umbrella is usual of a particular character type.
    On the thumb thing, I can only think of cons: no holding an umbrella handle, no holding beer glasses, no typing FF stories. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Yes, it’s a dangerous assumption. However, it would be a fantastic mode of transportation–even if the rider wasn’t cackling. 🙂

      Not being able to hold a beer would be dreadful, as would missing out on FFF.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  24. I would think there would be both pros and cons to an umbrella or a broom.
    You’ve certainly given us plenty to think about.
    Two thumbs up!
    Unless of course I have no thumbs.

    Like

    Reply

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