Russell Gayer, author speaker
Has your spouse ever complained that you were only “half-listening?” Not mine. Connie says, straight up and without any hesitation, “You didn’t hear a word I said, did you?”
Most of the time she’s right, but occasionally I can repeat what she said verbatim. This seems to irritate more than if I’d never heard the words at all. “Then why didn’t you respond?” she asks.
I thought it was a rhetorical question,” I reply. Which only adds gas to the fire. How you keep the lines spousal communication open?
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It had been a slow day for Susie. Most potential customers breezed right by her booth. Occasionally, one would stop to ooh and aah over her seashells, but didn’t spend a dime. Scratchers & Farters, cousin Klint called them.
In hopes of making a sale, she incorporated her sister Shelley into the display. Shelley put on quite a show, mimicking seahorses, dolphins, and even a mermaid.
“Hey, Mister,” Susie called to a passer by. “Would you be interested in a real live oceanic impressionist—my sister the mime?”
“Sorry Susie, sister Shelley is a sad substitute for seashore souvenir.
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Susie sells seashells and sister Susie on the seashore. Something like that, I was only half-reading, similar to half-listening. I spend a lot of my life doing things by halves.
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Actually, sister Susie sells sister Shelley at the sea shore. Unfortunately, no one is buying. The demand for mimes is at a low these days.
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Sadly shaking something, CE says seriously ‘Scottish sausages seldom sizzle’.
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That’s a new tongue twister. I like it.
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So very clever. I had to repeat that last line several times, just to be sure I could. And yes, I understand Connie’s problem. My husband has no compunction about asking me to repeat almost everything I say, whilst being outraged when I say “did you hear me?”.
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The half-listening appears to be a common chronic malady that strikes most males by age 30.
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Dear Klint Miracle Ear,
He who hears half or less. Perhaps Connie should paint her face white and mime for your attention. A bull horn might help. But that probably won’t do anything for your selected attention deficit. Ah well, I do mime even if you don’t mime. Now where did I misplace my invisible box. Sister Susie most likely sold it with her seashells and sand dollars on a starry starry night. Twisting my tongue in other directions.
Shalom,
Shelley Van Gogh W(T)F
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Dear Shelley Van Gogh W(T)F,
I doublt the white face paint would help, but it would sure cover those bulging veins in her throat. Amazing as it seems, I can always hear when she says, “Dinner’s ready!”
That sister Susie is a scrupulous seller of seashore samples.
I hope you got half of that,
Klint Miracle Ear
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If you listen, then you have to act. It is always better to pretend.
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Huh?? (just kidding) 🙂
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I’m with Connie on this!
Mermaid and Mime-approved! 🙂
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I’m vastly outnumbered. Woe is me.
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Ah! Is this a lead on the elusive mime? Or another mime? Remimed me, will you, I was only half paying attention.
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Nah, this is unrelated to the mime’s crime, although it is the same mime, just starring in a new misadventure.
Just try reading every other word, Penny. Maybe it’ll make more sense that way.
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Suffering succotash! Simply smarting from sounding out and silly speaking SS syllables…
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Great Yosimite Sam impersonation, Dale.
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I try…😁
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I loved ‘scratchers and farters’ and I did try saying the last line out loud (but failed). Very funny 🙂
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Just go to any yard sale and you’ll find plenty of scratchers & farters.
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I agree with Elappleby, scratchers and farters the lot of them! Good stuff
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Far too many–especially the latter.
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Ha! that last line is a great little tongue-twister!
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Glad you enjoyed it, Lish.
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perhaps if she’s dressed in a grass skirt and dances the hula to the tune of pearly shells like the woman in this video, there’ll be interest. 🙂
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Yes, girls in grass skirts always get attention.
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But surely Susie’s shapes should slay sushi-scoffing sea-shell shoppers?
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That seems reasonable to me.
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I’m trying to imagine your delectable mime artist, rising like Botticelli’s Venus from the shell stall – wow, what a picture! And still no takers? Folks just don’t know art when they see it. 🙂
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Let’s say you had a mime at your house, and friends came to visit. Would you proudly display your mime, or would you hide it in a closet?
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Hide it in a closet. Lock the closet door. Put a chair against the door. Set fire to the closet just to be sure. I don’t like mime. 🙂
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You’ve taken “She sells sea shells” to a whole new level 🙂
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Below sea level, I suspect. 🙂
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Living by the seashore life can be a beach. But I am impressed by her attempt to get strangers shell out money for her sister.
My absent mindedness is now getting acknowledged as a real condition. I demand that the women in my house (daughters can be bossier) give all requests in writing, otherwise I (the man who knows vast amount of obscure trivia) will not remember. Suffering spouses seldom speak sparking scoldings.
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Drop by my house, Subroto. I get plenty of scoldings and would be willing to share some of them with you.
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Ouch… selling your sister is quite sinister I think…
glad she was not successful, I can just imagine the kind of client that would show up.
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Here’s a bright idea, have your mime pretend to be a lamp.
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Sister Shelly should’ve selected somewhere else to strut her stuff. Mime artists are underappreciated… sometimes even by their own siblings.
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Writers are underappreciated by their own family too. I believe the scriptures say, “A prophet is not accepted in his home town.” (paraphrasing here).
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Good point. Now I understand why my own family doesn’t follow my blog.
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Susie? Sister Shelley? Perhaps if her name were Sally she would have better luck.
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You must mean, Smarter Sister Sally.
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Poor Susie, not being able to sell her shells or her sister, she’s really having a slow day. Maybe renting Shelley to explain all those half-heard/ half-missed conversations of the scratchers and farters might be more profitable.
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Ha! I can just see Shelley explaining all that with hand signals and facial expression–especially the farters. That’s hilarious.
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We’ll be sure to work on that ‘choreography’. 😉
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OMG…I didn’t even get that until I saw the word “mime”. You are relentless! lol
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Yes, the book is coming along nicely, though. I quote her in the book, but it’s just a row of blanks between a set of quotation marks.
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LOL
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So that’s where the silly sea shore saying comes from. Since I started writing, my husband gets a little half listening now. Added in is aging and my hearing loss, or at least it’s a good excuse. 🙂
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The half-listening appears to be quite common among couples. The only difference is I get scolded for it and she claims I never actually said anything (merely THOUGHT what I was trying to tell her).
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She’s a smart woman. =)
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Hi again, I was reading “Sometimes the Magic Works: Lessons from a Writing Life” by Terry Brooks and thought of you and your quandary. “There is never a moment when I am not involved in thinking about writing. I can’t put it out of my mind entirely, even in the most trying of circumstances. You might as well ask me to stop breathing; thinking about my writing is as much a function of my life. So, when my family and friends discover I am not listening to them or they catch me staring off into space, I can’t do a thing about it, because that’s just the way I am. It is the way all writers are …” See! Now, you have an excuse! =)
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I find myself thinking about writing most of the time too. Sometimes I observe something happening, or overhear a line in conversation, and wonder how I could use those pieces in a future story. I know several writers who carry small notebooks to jot dot such items. I’d probably forget where I laid my notebook. 🙂
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