What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Sea Shore Entrepreneur
Has your spouse ever complained that you were only “half-listening?” Not mine. Connie says, straight up and without any hesitation, “You didn’t hear a word I said, did you?”
Most of the time she’s right, but occasionally I can repeat what she said verbatim. This seems to irritate more than if I’d never heard the words at all. “Then why didn’t you respond?” she asks.
I thought it was a rhetorical question,” I reply. Which only adds gas to the fire. How you keep the lines spousal communication open?
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, our curator of 100 word stories is Shelley Van Gogh Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the ensemble of practicing fic-titioners in the writers in FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
It had been a slow day for Susie. Most potential customers breezed right by her booth. Occasionally, one would stop to ooh and aah over her seashells, but didn’t spend a dime. Scratchers & Farters, cousin Klint called them.
In hopes of making a sale, she incorporated her sister Shelley into the display. Shelley put on quite a show, mimicking seahorses, dolphins, and even a mermaid.
“Hey, Mister,” Susie called to a passer by. “Would you be interested in a real live oceanic impressionist—my sister the mime?”
“Sorry Susie, sister Shelley is a sad substitute for seashore souvenir.
52 Comments on “Sea Shore Entrepreneur”
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What's So Funny? 
Susie sells seashells and sister Susie on the seashore. Something like that, I was only half-reading, similar to half-listening. I spend a lot of my life doing things by halves.
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Actually, sister Susie sells sister Shelley at the sea shore. Unfortunately, no one is buying. The demand for mimes is at a low these days.
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Sadly shaking something, CE says seriously ‘Scottish sausages seldom sizzle’.
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That’s a new tongue twister. I like it.
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So very clever. I had to repeat that last line several times, just to be sure I could. And yes, I understand Connie’s problem. My husband has no compunction about asking me to repeat almost everything I say, whilst being outraged when I say “did you hear me?”.
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The half-listening appears to be a common chronic malady that strikes most males by age 30.
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Dear Klint Miracle Ear,
He who hears half or less. Perhaps Connie should paint her face white and mime for your attention. A bull horn might help. But that probably won’t do anything for your selected attention deficit. Ah well, I do mime even if you don’t mime. Now where did I misplace my invisible box. Sister Susie most likely sold it with her seashells and sand dollars on a starry starry night. Twisting my tongue in other directions.
Shalom,
Shelley Van Gogh W(T)F
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Dear Shelley Van Gogh W(T)F,
I doublt the white face paint would help, but it would sure cover those bulging veins in her throat. Amazing as it seems, I can always hear when she says, “Dinner’s ready!”
That sister Susie is a scrupulous seller of seashore samples.
I hope you got half of that,
Klint Miracle Ear
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If you listen, then you have to act. It is always better to pretend.
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Huh?? (just kidding) 🙂
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I’m with Connie on this!
Mermaid and Mime-approved! 🙂
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I’m vastly outnumbered. Woe is me.
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Ah! Is this a lead on the elusive mime? Or another mime? Remimed me, will you, I was only half paying attention.
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Nah, this is unrelated to the mime’s crime, although it is the same mime, just starring in a new misadventure.
Just try reading every other word, Penny. Maybe it’ll make more sense that way.
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Suffering succotash! Simply smarting from sounding out and silly speaking SS syllables…
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Great Yosimite Sam impersonation, Dale.
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I try…😁
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I loved ‘scratchers and farters’ and I did try saying the last line out loud (but failed). Very funny 🙂
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Just go to any yard sale and you’ll find plenty of scratchers & farters.
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I agree with Elappleby, scratchers and farters the lot of them! Good stuff
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Far too many–especially the latter.
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Ha! that last line is a great little tongue-twister!
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Glad you enjoyed it, Lish.
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perhaps if she’s dressed in a grass skirt and dances the hula to the tune of pearly shells like the woman in this video, there’ll be interest. 🙂
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Yes, girls in grass skirts always get attention.
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But surely Susie’s shapes should slay sushi-scoffing sea-shell shoppers?
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That seems reasonable to me.
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I’m trying to imagine your delectable mime artist, rising like Botticelli’s Venus from the shell stall – wow, what a picture! And still no takers? Folks just don’t know art when they see it. 🙂
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Let’s say you had a mime at your house, and friends came to visit. Would you proudly display your mime, or would you hide it in a closet?
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Hide it in a closet. Lock the closet door. Put a chair against the door. Set fire to the closet just to be sure. I don’t like mime. 🙂
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You’ve taken “She sells sea shells” to a whole new level 🙂
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Below sea level, I suspect. 🙂
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Living by the seashore life can be a beach. But I am impressed by her attempt to get strangers shell out money for her sister.
My absent mindedness is now getting acknowledged as a real condition. I demand that the women in my house (daughters can be bossier) give all requests in writing, otherwise I (the man who knows vast amount of obscure trivia) will not remember. Suffering spouses seldom speak sparking scoldings.
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Drop by my house, Subroto. I get plenty of scoldings and would be willing to share some of them with you.
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Ouch… selling your sister is quite sinister I think…
glad she was not successful, I can just imagine the kind of client that would show up.
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Here’s a bright idea, have your mime pretend to be a lamp.
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Sister Shelly should’ve selected somewhere else to strut her stuff. Mime artists are underappreciated… sometimes even by their own siblings.
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Writers are underappreciated by their own family too. I believe the scriptures say, “A prophet is not accepted in his home town.” (paraphrasing here).
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Good point. Now I understand why my own family doesn’t follow my blog.
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Susie? Sister Shelley? Perhaps if her name were Sally she would have better luck.
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You must mean, Smarter Sister Sally.
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Poor Susie, not being able to sell her shells or her sister, she’s really having a slow day. Maybe renting Shelley to explain all those half-heard/ half-missed conversations of the scratchers and farters might be more profitable.
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Ha! I can just see Shelley explaining all that with hand signals and facial expression–especially the farters. That’s hilarious.
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We’ll be sure to work on that ‘choreography’. 😉
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OMG…I didn’t even get that until I saw the word “mime”. You are relentless! lol
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Yes, the book is coming along nicely, though. I quote her in the book, but it’s just a row of blanks between a set of quotation marks.
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LOL
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So that’s where the silly sea shore saying comes from. Since I started writing, my husband gets a little half listening now. Added in is aging and my hearing loss, or at least it’s a good excuse. 🙂
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The half-listening appears to be quite common among couples. The only difference is I get scolded for it and she claims I never actually said anything (merely THOUGHT what I was trying to tell her).
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She’s a smart woman. =)
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Hi again, I was reading “Sometimes the Magic Works: Lessons from a Writing Life” by Terry Brooks and thought of you and your quandary. “There is never a moment when I am not involved in thinking about writing. I can’t put it out of my mind entirely, even in the most trying of circumstances. You might as well ask me to stop breathing; thinking about my writing is as much a function of my life. So, when my family and friends discover I am not listening to them or they catch me staring off into space, I can’t do a thing about it, because that’s just the way I am. It is the way all writers are …” See! Now, you have an excuse! =)
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I find myself thinking about writing most of the time too. Sometimes I observe something happening, or overhear a line in conversation, and wonder how I could use those pieces in a future story. I know several writers who carry small notebooks to jot dot such items. I’d probably forget where I laid my notebook. 🙂
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