What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
They All Look Alike
Here’s an enigma for you. Since I’ve retired, time has sped up. The period between 6am and 6pm is now four hours. Carve out a couple of meals and there’s barely enough time left to accomplish anything.
Plus, if you’re like me and spent forty years earning a degree in Laziness and Procrastination from Hard Knocks University, even a small task will take weeks, possibly months to complete.
The reduced hours in a day has also caused adjustment problems for my wife. With me underfoot, poor Connie now has twice as much work to do and only half the time to get it done.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, our ambitious, “Get ‘er Done” coordinator of 100-word tales is Lori The-Book-Table-Gal Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the ensemble of practicing fic-titioners in the writers in FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
copyright – J.S. Brand
“What did the mime look like?”
“Like a mime, dammit. That’s like asking what a penguin looks like. They may come in different sizes, but they’re all penguins to me.”
“Was it a man or a woman?”
“I repeat—it was a mime, dammit. I don’t know how to tell what gender they are. The pissed-off woman referred to it as Shelby, or Shelley—something like that.”
“Boy, you’re a lot of help.”
“Lowry, you’re the friggin’ detective. If you want to know what sex the mime is, go down to the Family Mart and do a full cavity search.
48 Comments on “They All Look Alike”
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What's So Funny? 
Dear Alvin “Slow Man” Worthlessen,
No doubt Shelley mastermimed the plot. Clever mime, that one. Not only can she distinguish the colour purple a mile a way, she’s hidden her do not remove tags where Detective Lowry will never find them. And he’s no kind of genderman, that’s for darn tootin shure. My sincere sympathies go to the long-suffering Connie. 😉 For your watching pleasure, a favorite of mime. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEsfpRrfXf4
Shalom,
Lori The-Book-Table-Lady, W(T)F
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Dear Lori The-Book-Table-Gal W(T)F,
This excerpt is from a scene where Shelley’s “Gone Fishing” act was interrupted by 3 teenage boys and the cops were called. Lowry is closing in. It’s only a matter of another 100 pages or so before he catches her white-glove-handed and recovers the invisible box.
As for poor Connie, our mantel is filled with sympathy cards–and she appreciates your kind words, thoughts and prayers. She is an angel. Being my caregiver is not an easy job.
I bet Shelley would like to have one of those invisible violins like Marcel plays in the video, but the invisible wine–not so much.
Alvin “Slow Man” Worthlesston
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rochelle – enjoyed the mime video
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I can’t wait til I retire and time speeds up, I can’t keep up with all these mimes.
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Be careful what you wish for, Iain. It may be a bed of rose, but there are plenty of thorns.
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The mime will be a meme maybe… easy to spot.
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Mimes are easy to spot. I’m hoping they’re gender neutral so they don’t propogate. Can you imagine what the world would look like if they started multiplying like rabbits?
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This faster time thingy (sorry about the technical jargon) is a by-product of a phenomenon known as ageing (or, if you are American, the less elegant aging). Have you noticed how many birthdays you can now pack into an average year?
PS Have you heard anything from the mime?
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Yes, I’ve noticed how fast those birthdays come around. In fact, I’m having another one next week.
No, the mime has been silent. Therefore, we can only assume it’s a man.
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Hey, me too!
No surprise, I have lots now, but when I was young there were yeeeaaaarrrsss between them.
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Er, I BEG YOUR PARDON SIR?
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I knew that would get a rise out of someone. I had to say just to make sure people were reading the comments.
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Men? Silent? Ha! Ha! Ha!
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I’ve always liked mimes, male or female, many people find them creepy. We can let Shelley do the full cavity search and let us know what’s up.
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So, you’re suggesting Shelley should search Lowry? That might be interesting.
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Good advice! Why is he so curious?
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He’s still looking for the invisible box that was stolen, and believes the mime who did it was a female.
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Reblogged this on Musings on Life & Experience and commented:
Here’s another two-for-the-price-of-one offering from Russell, namely FREE. If you enjoyed this zaniness, go to your right on this post and click on one or both book covers there. To help out Russell even more, reblog this post on your blog as I’ve done. Thanks
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Thanks so much, Suzanne.
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honestly, it left me puzzled
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I appreciate your honesty. This is another excerpt from Criminal Mimes. Lowry believes the mime in question may be the thief who stole the invisible box.
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Uh oh…I’m not retired yet but I’m already experiencing time speeding up!
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It’s so wonderful to see your smiling face here, Marisa. Time has indeed become a precious commodity for all of us.
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My sympathy is all with Connie.
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And she appreciates all the condolences. The poor girl has her hands full, that’s for sure.
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I’m thinking working only six months of the year does has a similar effect… Cheers to Connie!
And I’m thinking this chase is far from over…
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You’re right about the chase, Dale. That Shelley is slippery and hard to pin down.
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That she is…
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without glasses on, everything becomes blurry. gender differences can be problematic and subject to one’s perspective
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That’s true. But I can understand where Officer Whetstone is coming from. Mimes appear gender neutral to most of us.
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The full cavity search is an unenticing prospect. I’m not that keen to know actually.
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I assure you, Lowry will find out another way.
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! agree with Sandra. Some things are just better wondered about than known for sure. And these days, An XX or an XY is no longer definitive.
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In the long run, it really doesn’t matter in this case. Lowry knows the criminal is a mime. He’s just trying to figure out which mime. And since they all look alike, it’s rather challenging.
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Entertaining tale as always! Poor Lowry, as well as Connie. =) Hey, my birthday is in two weeks, growing ever closer to 60 (58 this year). I’m a Thanksgiving baby. Happy early day!
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My birthday is next Friday (63 this year). Time goes faster than ever.
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early – happy birthday Russell (the 16th)
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I am early – happy birthday brenda (22nd?)
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Hey, thanks so much! My birthday is November 26, so I guess it’s in two weeks from yesterday. =)
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My older brother’s is the 25th – and I know st least 5 other folks w mid to late November bday –
🎂🎂🎂🎂
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That’s nice … cool people are born in November (haha).
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Indeed!! And my sweet high school friend, Shannon, was born at 10:20 in the morning (think it was the 18th) but I recall being in school waiting for 10:20 am to come!
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I am down to those flypast days too. Attempting to write a book shortens the day amazingly for me. And other things are at play e.g. trying to get the phrase “full cavity search” out of my memory is taking a fair chunk of time today. I am hoping the nausea will subside by tomorrow – only another hour to go though. Loved your preamble to bits.
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This was fresh and clever – oh and the mimes do look so alike.
🙂
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A cavity search? Surely there is a mime option for that instead?
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It seems to me whether the mime is male or female is irrelevant. I believe that is just another way to divide us.
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Who, where, what is the mystery mime? Tune in next week for another bizarre episode of…the case of the missing, invisible box
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Engaging read.
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