What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Squeaky Wheels
Bad news. I fear our new puppy, Liza Jane, is becoming a mime. Every morning she shows up at breakfast wearing white-face and black lipstick. She won’t talk when spoken to. She responds only with sarcastic body motions and exaggerated facial expressions.
To make matters worse, three times this week I caught her trying to rip the Do-Not-Remove tags from her toys. Heaven help us when she grows to seventy pounds and can lift furniture and mattresses.
I’m just praying Santa doesn’t bring Liza a striped shirt and beret for Christmas.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, you can trust your 100 words to the gal who wears the star, The Big Bright FFF Star, “Oil Can Boyd” Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the ensemble of practicing fic-titioners in the writers in FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
“All this skateboarding will catch up with you someday,” Mom said.
Fifteen-year-old Jesse smiled. What does she know? Sure, he’d taken a few falls and wrenched an ankle or two, but no broken bones—as yet.
Thirty years later just getting out of bed became a chore. It always took a couple of doses of lubrication to loosen the stiffness in his joints.
Bending to change a tire, lightning bolts of pain flashed through both knees and up his back. Finishing the job, he rose to his feet, staggered, and grimaced.
Maybe Mom was right after all.
66 Comments on “Squeaky Wheels”
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What's So Funny? 
Dear Crash & Burn,
Fun Fact: Shelly doesn’t own a striped shirt. Horizontal stripes make a person look shorter, if not wider. Oh those fun things we did as kids tend to catch up with us, don’t they? As for Liza Jane,…oh what a face. I could just kiss it. No wonder she has you wrapped around her back paw. Has she started doing the wall or the mime walk? Sounds like an intelligent canine. 😉
So you need to backtrack and check out our photo I posted last week. Harrumph. You didn’t show up. And Ted Strutz decided that he should use it as the photo prompt. And you missed it. Waaaaaah. Liza Jane, bite his ankle and bite the tag of his coveralls!
Shalom,
Oil Can Boyd W(T)F
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Dear Oil Can Boyd W(T)F,
Fictional Shelley does own a striped shirt. So what if it makes her look the height of a hockey puck. It’ll just make it harder for Lowry to pin the crimes on her.
Liza Jane does appear intelligent–and stubborn. Right now, we’re trying to encourage her to think outside the invisible box and act more like a normal canine.
Sorry I missed last week. Our wireless internet is intermittent as best and we are about 2 years away from having fiber optic in our area. I will backtrack and see what you’ve gotten me into.
Stay slick,
Crash & Burn
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If only we could see thirty years into our own futures. Most of us would be a lot more willing to listen to Mom.
Liza Jane is adorbs!
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That’s true, but no one is smarter than a teenage know-it-all.
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There’s no stopping old age, may as well enjoy it while you can.
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Your right, Iain. And there’s no guarantee of living long enough to reach old age. There’s a lot to be said for living in the moment.
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Liza Jane is so cute! A little mime in training.
I agree with Iain! 🙂
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She can be cute–and loving. But at times she’s stubborn and willful. I’m hoping this mime thing is just a stage she’s going through.
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Some parents seem to be very wise when it comes to what will ail us…
And, yes, cute puppies will grow to remove the “Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law” tags. It is known… 😀
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Parents have their share of wisdom, mostly learned through their own mistakes. However, every generation has to make their own as none of us are good at taking advice.
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Shame on you, making fun of your sweet little dog. She’s adorable.
I’m glad I didn’t listen to my mom about everything. She was right quite often, but she never did approve of how often I wanted to wash my oily hair. “You’ll wash the life right out of it.” Never happened. I could use some of that oil in my back right now 🙂
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Yes, shame on me for accusing her of becoming a mime. Such slander . . .
My mom wasn’t always right either, but I’d say she was correct at least 80% of the time.
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but, but he had fun. 🙂
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He sure did, and was a pretty good skateboarder too. You can’t live in a bubble.
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Reblogged this on Musings on Life & Experience and commented:
Another double dose of humor-and probably truth tossed in there-from Russell. If you desire more hilarity of this sort, just swing right on the blog and click on one or both of the book covers. You can help Russell even more by reblogging this post on your own blog as I’ve done on mine.
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Probable truth? That’s a good way to phrase it. 🙂
Actually, there’s more truth than fiction in these little tales.
Thanks again for reblogging me.
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Yep, I fear you do have a developing mime there. My son is no doubt sorry he did so much skateboarding. A friend’s father, a doctor, warned him or he might have had even more problems. —- Suzanne
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My son isn’t forty yet and the wear & tear of that sport is starting to show up in his joints. As my dad used to say, “We all have to pay for our fun.”
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I’m so glad you included a picture of Liza Jane. She looks so innocent and puppyish. How could she go so wrong as to become a mime!
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I have no idea how she got off on a bad paw (so to speak). Let’s hope it’s just a phase she’s going through.
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Awww, Liza Jane is so cute. I can’t imagine her as a 70-ponder ferocious beast.
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Our neighbor has one just like her, but 2 1/2 years old. They get to be quite a brute, but are very good natured and get along well with children.
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There will be lots of creaking bones in my town in 30 years time Watch out, here comes another one…!
Click to read my FriFic tale!
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All those X-Game sports will leave a lot of people hobbling in a few years.
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As I read this I could hear my mother’s words… “you’ll ruin your feet in those shoes.” Years later, other people’s feet look as though they belong to a different species – the ones who didn’t stagger four miles a day in four inch heels. Good luck with the pup, sounds fun.
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I was just reading your comment and was reminded of my first pair of heels…they were like 4 inches or more high, had strings that cris-crossed my leg all the way up to my knees… and oh, how mom did go ballistic. Worse yet, so did the orthopedist who conviscated them on the spot and gave me flip-flops in exchange… Now, I wish that I could even wear a 1 inch heel…
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Yep, sandals all summer, soft suede boots all winter with the odd foray into trainers for the gym. Not a fashion shoe in sight in my wardrobe. 😦
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April through time for school to start, bare feet (sandals since I married and can afford), sneaks all winter (or until I couldn’t squeeze my feetsies into them. Now, I have sneaks and a pair of snow boots, and pair of flats for Sunday…and I consider myself so very blessed for them.
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The things people will do in the name of fashion. 🙂
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Mom, is ALWAYS RIGHT, even when she’s wrong… Although we really hate to admit it. Love your puppy story…call it ditto for our new kitten, Tripper. By the time hubby gets home from work, I’m ready to ‘kill the kenny – uh, kitty’! Enjoy for soon, more evil antics will come! Great read this week!
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Thanks, Jelli.
We’d have forgotten what it’s like to raise a puppy. I’ve become a human chew-toy.
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I’ve become a scratching post.. LOL! Gotta love pups and kittens… so young and full of energy. If we could only get an ounce transfusion.
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This is so true. Good on the Mum!
Liza Jane is so adorable. We almost share a name too as I’m Lisa Jane. 🙂
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Mums like to hear that they were right too. I don’t know if Jesse had ever told her. I would make her day.
I’m glad you like Liza. I got the name from an old Bob Wills song.
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Ah, the arrogance of youth! Nicely done, Russell. (Love your dog!)
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Thanks, Susan. We’re pretty attached to her too.
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If he’s already a mess at 45, I don’t have high hopes for him at 60…
Liza Jane (love the name) is adorable. You’re cooked.
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I added 10 years for the sake of the story. He’s only 34 now, but by the time he’s 60 he’ll be a hobbling cripple.
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For sure. Scary biz to be that compromised so young.
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Mother knows best is the only rule.
And Mother makes all the rules.
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I couldn’t agree with you more.
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How is it that moms are usually right? Liza Jane is cute as a button. And that name! Maybe if you’d called her something like Sybil she wouldn’t be so spunky.
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Oh sure, calling her Sybil would have solved all my problems. Then I’d only have a dozen different dog personalities to deal with.
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Jesse’s pain pure ageing problem of extension of skate board falls? By the way who chooses lipstick for Liza Jane. May be changing shade will improve her attitude.
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Yep, old injuries don’t age gracefully.
Liza is rebellious, especially when it come to her choices in fashion.
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Mum’s always right. Unfortunately by the time we realise that, it’s always too late.
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The worst part is admitting she was right.
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Oh my goodness, mother was right! Of course she was 🙂 (And what a properly cute dog.)
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Oh course she was. 🙂 Or at least SHE thought so.
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Skateboards have claimed two broken arms in our family. Love your comment about thinking outside the invisible box. I think the joint oil should be made of strained puppy energy. 😊
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Sorry to hear about the broken arms (though I’m not surprised). Skateboarding claims more than its share of casualties.
I wish I knew how to bottle that puppy-energy. I would become a millionaire.
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Seems as though this prompt brought out the stand up in more than one of us.. nice writes.. both of them,, and your puppy is too cute.
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Thank you, Violet. Can’t wait to read yours.
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Hasn’t he learnt by 15 Mum is always right but I do feel sorry for Jesse. I know those aches and pains but he is only 45 and I am way older. Hows he going to be when he catches up to my age?
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He’ll be hobbling and whining for sure.
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Oh that Liza Jane is a cutie. I rather like the fact that she can mime at such a young age. 😉 Never could understand skateboards. A tire swing tied up a 100-foot pine tree was the cause of a broken bone or two in the family. Nice story.
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I’m hoping she grows out of the mime thing. 🙂
The only difference between skateboarding & football, is the pain is self-inflicted instead of being slammed to the ground by an opposing player.
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It seems that “better late than never” doesn’t apply in Jesse’s case… he has finally learned that Mom was right, but there’s nothing he can do about it now.
Liza Jane is adorable! 🙂
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I’m sure even Cave Moms warned their children of the long-term effects of dangerous games, but did they listen? Nope. It’s been the same old story since they beginning of time.
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Perhaps little girls are more inclined to heed their mothers’ warnings? Before they become teenagers, that is. Also, I suspect boys tend to play more dangerous games than girls do.
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Ah, the circle of life. He’ll tell his kids and they too won’t listen. Liza Jane is adorable but wants to know why you continue to hold that rectangle thing in front of her. 🙂
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You’re absolutely right, Brenda. It is the circle of life.
Little Liza’s head would swell if she heard all the compliments this post has given her.
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Sounds like in the end mother’s are always right… too bad… I won’t tell you what rules I didn’t listen to. What a cute little puppy… will she hunt the Armadillos now?
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I suspect you left a long trail of broken rules, Bjorn. (As did I)
Liza is less that 4 months old, but when she’s grown, she’ll be a terror on woodchucks, armadillos, and opposums (let’s hope she leaves skunks alone).
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Ha…so what is he 45?
He ain’t felt nothing yet! lol
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Oh, I remember those good ole skateboarding days when nothing hurt. Good times. Good times.
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