The Cow Catcher

Posted on December 5, 2018 by

68 Comments

Have you every taken something important and put it in a “Special Place” to make it easier to find the next time you needed it? This simple act is a reflection of your highly advanced organizational skills, forethought, and planning.

However, it is also the best way I know of to lose something permanently. There must be at least twenty-five things in this house that I’ve hidden from myself and can’t find. The problem lies in remembering where the “Special Place” is. And as soon as I go to the time, trouble, and expense to replace the missing item, it immediately turns up. I call this Murphy’s Law of Outsmarting Yourself.  

If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the little chickadee who fluffs her nest with 100-word stories is Flower Belle Lee Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the ensemble of practicing fic-titioners in the writers in FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.

copyright – Dawn Miller

A passenger train, The Cornish Scot is creeping along at a snail’s pace. Finally it grinds to a halt, and Sandra sees Conductor Ayr walking by outside.

“Why are we stopping?” she yells out the window.

“There’s a cow on the tracks, Madam!” he replies.

Ten minutes later, the train resumes its dreadfully slow crawl.

The train had barely gone one kilometer when it creaked to a halt once more. Sandra sees Conductor Ayr passing her window again.

She leans out and yells, “What happened? Did we catch up with the cow?”

 

Category: humorTags: , , , ,

68 Comments on “The Cow Catcher”

  2. What a delightful turn-around. “dreadfully slow crawl” makes it seems as if the train is merely following the cow. Kudos. (Love the characters. They seem so familiar. 😉

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  9. Reblogged this on Musings on Life & Experience and commented:
    Another double offering of humor from Russell. If you’re yearning for more of this entertainment, just swing to the right and click on one or both of the covers of Russell’s books. To help him even more just reblog this post from your own blog as I’ve done.

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  11. Sarcasm may be the lowest form of wit, but at times it can be very fulfilling. I’m familiar with your ‘safe place’ routine. After hemming some curtains, I couldn’t find the lid the to pin box. So I put it somewhere safe until I could. Then I found the lid, but couldn’t remember where the box was. Right now I have the box, but the lid is… somewhere safe. I look forward to more of this to light my declining years.

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    • You’re right. Sarcasm can be very fulfilling.
      Glad you could relate to the intro. Now I don’t feel so alone. Good luck finding the lid to your pin box.

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      • I have to add that we had a weekend of misplaced articles. I found my phone, after an hour of panicked searching under a bag of packing materials in the basement. Jan found my car key under a pile of socks in the laundry room. I’m certain he’s the one who put them there just to confuse me. Can I get an ‘amen’ to that?

        Liked by 1 person

      • I can’t believe you’d blame this on Jan. Oh, the abuse this poor man is forced to endure.
        Here’s a suggestion; why don’t to keep your car keys in the invisible box (if you can remember where you hid it from yourself). They would be easily seen in that container.

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  12. I almost spilled some good tea from laughing. I got a strange mental image of the cow thinking the train was her workout buddy.

    Oof… putting things in places so safe, that I never see them again… I feel called out.

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    • I can see that happening. The little passenger train that takes shoppers to Alma from Springdale during Christmas season did indeed slide off the tracks last year due to wet leaves. I suppose the railroad crew misplaced their leaf blowers.

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  14. Dear Cuthbert J. Twillie,

    I could see this clearly and hear Sandra’s wry wit. Do you suppose there really wasn’t a cow and Conductor Ayr stopped a few places along the way to drown, stab or shoot someone to death. I’ve heard he’s a very sinister individual.
    I’d leave more comments but I can’t remember where I placed my invisible box that contained them. Oh well..So long, Chickadee.

    Shalom,

    Flower Belle Lee W(T)F

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    • Dear Flower Belle Lee W(T)F,

      You maybe right about Conductor Ayr. Perhaps he’s busy tying damsils in distress to the tracks. Sandra should be careful with her comments.
      What a shame that you have stored your invisible box for safe keeping and can’t find it. Perhaps Detective Lowry can jog your memory and help you find it.

      In the meantime, have a slog of eggnog,
      Cuthbert J. Twillie

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  15. I can’t tell you how many “special secret hiding places” are keeping my stuff safe from me…

    I’m positive that Ayr fella is using the cow as an excuse to hide something much more nefarious. And dry wit is Sandra’s speciality! (Yes, I spelled it that way a-purpose)

    This was most amoozing…

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    • The thought that they are “keeping your stuff safe from YOU” made me chuckle. I suppose you’ll do something devious with them if you ever find where they are.

      Glad you were A-mooosed. 🙂

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    • Thanks for being such a good sport and co-starring in this production. Your performance is worthy of an Oscar nomination. Maybe then, people will stop YELLING at you.

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  19. Brilliant story and I must say, the additional story unfolding in the comments has me in tears … I’m laughing so hard, – it’s doing nothing for my lingering headache … were toward it today, in this moment, that perchance I might lose my head? I would be happy to misplace it – perhaps I should shout out to Ayr and request a beheading of sorts?

    Liked by 1 person

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      • ahh … I’m in absolutely no doubt about Mr. Ayr’s mad desires to be, honourable, in fulfilling requests … LOL – but then, he does often rip off into tangents of his own devious and (un)scrupulous means, measures and (de)vices 😉

        indeed, laughter, too often in short supply these days, is more than balm and tonic! cheers 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  20. Nice bit of sarcastic humour. Cows on a track can be a test of patience. But the train was moving slowly anyway.

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  21. I love this … “Murphy’s Law of Outsmarting Yourself.” We thought we were making a big move so I started to organize and pack our apartment (we aren’t now for a few months). In the process, I found a number of items that I put away “to keep them safe” or so I could find them when I needed them later (ha). I’ll have to let my husband know, I’m not the only one. Hilarious story!

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    • Since I posted this, I’ve received several confessions from other readers, both here and on Facebook. No, you are not alone. This appears to be quite common, especially in those over age fifty.

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