What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Tone Deaf
When you’re stuck in traffic, have you ever noticed how many people in the cars around you are picking their nose? A friend of mine pointed it out one day. We counted twenty-two pickers from the city of Rogers to our exit in southeast Springdale (approx. 1.4 pickers per mile).
According to Ripley’s Believe It or Don’t, there’s actually a name for this. The act (or art) of picking your nose is called Rhinotillexis. Don’t ask me how to pronounce it, but it sounds like a great name for a heavy metal rock band. I expect a band with that name to “boldly probe where no finger has gone before.”
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, our facilitator is Liz “Twitchy Finger” Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the ensemble of practicing fic-titioners in the writers in FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
“Did you hear about Schroeder from the Peanuts cartoon?” Penny asked.
Bjorn shook his head. “No, what happened?”
“He disappeared while on holiday in Scotland. The authorities spent over two years searching for him. Initially, they thought he might’ve been kidnapped, but now they presume he was murdered.”
“Are there any suspects in the case?”
“Just one. According to witnesses, there was a tall, elderly gentleman who became incensed at Schroeder’s non-stop piano playing.”
“That’s terrible. Have police been able to gather enough evidence to link him to Schroeder’s disappearance?”
“No, and they’ve not found Schroeder’s body either.”
37 Comments on “Tone Deaf”
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What's So Funny? 
I would not be surprised to find those numbers to be true.
Poor Shroeder!!! And that tall elderly gentleman seemed so mellow…
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The questions begs to be asked, “What becomes of all those boogers?”
The old Scot may have frost on the roof, but the fire still burns within.
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I’m sure the underpart of the seats are slimey…😜
‘Twould appear…
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Dear Snotty Scotty,
Don’t let the mild manners of the Scot fool you. He probably bumped off poor Schroeder and then wrote to tell about it.
You know the old saying, “You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose.” Back to counting Do Not Remove Tags.
Shalom,
Liz “Twitchy Fingers” W(T)F
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Dear Liz “Twitchy Fingers” W(T)F,
You appear to have a nose for crime. The old Scot is very creative when it comes to eliminating those who perturb him, but he does seem to enjoy sharing stories of the kill.
You might want to find a safe hiding place for those tags. I have it on good authority that Lowry and Blockson are closing in. Please don’t use any of them for handkerchiefs.
Snotty Scotty
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People should always be wary coming here on holiday, if you upset us, we won’t be shy in letting you know, and take appropriate action!
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I’m remember that, Iain. 🙂
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I’m guessing Shroeder is plant food now……
Yes, I have noticed people picking their noses in cars and using their phones at the same time. I imagine they are trying to post good photos to their social media pages 🙂
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You guessed right, Morgaine. Looks like the plants are thriving too.
I have noticed any nose-picking photos or videos (which would be even better) on social media, but I can see it turning into an international phenomenon.
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Reblogged this on Musings on Life & Experience and commented:
You got two stories for the price of FREE again. If you enjoy this craziness, just rise to the top of the blog and swing right to find the two book covers and click on one or both. They are crammed full of funny stories. You can also help Russell by reblogging this post from your post.
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Thank you once again for reblogging my post. 🙂
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I have a horrible feeling Shroeder’s poor little body is in that piano. It even looks creepy. We should all beware of murderous writers especially if they’re Scots.
— Suzanne
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The best place is hide something is in plain sight. The good news is, little Schroeder is going green. The plants look quite healthy.
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Hey!
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That was awesome. Poor Schroeder. Looks like Pigpen might be in there with him.
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Good catch, Shirley. I didn’t think about Pigpen, but he’d make great fertilizer too.
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Shulz said that Schroeder would not have been as funny if he’d loved Handel or Liszt. Something about Beethoven is just right. I remember a strip where they got sponsors for the baseball team. John’s Shoes, Joe’s Garage, etc. Shroeder? He got Beeth Oven.
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Beeth Oven? I love it. I bet it looked good on the uniform too. 🙂
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whereabouts could be anybody’s guess. he could be keeping a low profile after consuming a lot haggis or the loch ness monster got him. 🙂
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Nope. He’s definitely serving as fertilizer for flowers these days.
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Poor Schroeder, beware of these Scots. At least he seems still attached to his piano.
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Yes, Even death cannot separate them.
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I wish I could unlearn what I just read about nose-pickers.
Poor Schroeder! The elderly gentleman could just have removed him from the piano. Ot perhaps he did, and a fight broke out? Hmm…
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The elderly gentleman turned Shroeder into compost.
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Aaargh!
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It wisnae me, mister, it wis a big boy done it and run awa’, honest injun, an that.
An’ ah nivir wrapped his boady in that manky blanket an’ hid it in a dug’s kennel, neither ah did.
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That alibi is not going to fly.
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The Red Baron said that about the kennel…
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Ha… I think we will track down that Scotsman… he might have left a trail in the form of sinister stories…
Reminds me of the Elton John Record “Don’t shoot me, I’m only the piano player”
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I’m also reminded of the REO Speedwagon album “You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.”
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I wouldn’t upset CE if I were you. God nose he’s got a lust for mayhem and murder most foul.
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I like the way you slipped the word “nose” into your comment. Did you pick that especially for C.E.?
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I picked it for the bogey man…
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But not in a bad way, Sandra
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Maybe Shroeders off picking his nose between concertos… Or, maybe, he just lost the music in his soul.
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I haven’t read your story yet but feel the need to comment..”Ewww!!”
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Aww, poor Schroeder.
But I’m still overcome with laughter at all the nosepicking 🙂
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