What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Lost Between the Lines
Have you ever been accused of rambling? Are you the kind of person who likes to talk just to hear their head rattle? Me neither.
People like us don’t mince words. We get right to the point. If you ask us what time it is, we’re not going to spend half-a-day telling you how to build a watch.
Do you know someone who does? I bet you do. You may even live next door to one of these talk-a-holics. Let it all out. Tell me how they drive you up the wall.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, our head seamstress and fabricator of 100-word stories is Betsy Ross Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the ensemble of practicing fic-titioners in the writers in FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
Coffee spewed from the chief’s nose and mouth.
“You want to do WHAT? Lowry, you’ve lost your freakin’ mind!”
“I know bringing in mimes for a line-up sounds unusual, Chief, but how many mimes can there be in the Kansas City area. We’ve got some good photos of the suspect, and Mr. Wingnut volunteered to look over the line-up.”
“Two mimes would be two too many. And how do you propose to find these mimes?”
The chief rose and walked around the desk.
“Do you have a mime detector?” He made a sweeping motion as if searching for explosives.
*an excerpt from Criminal Mimes
48 Comments on “Lost Between the Lines”
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What's So Funny? 
Hey mimes can be absolutely as nefarious as anyone, as far as I know
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They can be trouble, that’s for sure. At least they don’t ramble on for hours at a time.
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You may have started a meme
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Let’s hope it doesn’t start a wave of mimes.
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A mimewave…fires my imagination. Invisible boxes at the ready. Ready, aim…rip those tags!
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OMG – we’ve created a monster!
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I suppose I could be accused of having my own rambling moments 😉
As for this situation… good luck Detective. You’ve been batting a thousand 😉
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Well, I’m not accusing you of rambling. We’ll let your close friends & family be the judge of that.
Poor Lowry has an uphill battle. Not only is it hard to pin this crime on mime, he doesn’t have the support of the chief.
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You do that …
Poor bugger. Something tells me he won’t give up anyway!
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You’re right, Dale. He is falling in love with the gal who owned the invisible box and is determined to get it back for her. Love makes men do crazy things.
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Mime not to reason why. Corny I know, but I think that sits easy with you. I seldom ramble, except in my sleep. And as I seldom sleep, ergo…
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You don’t strike me as the rambling type, Sandra. The mime on the other hand . . . her hands are alway in motion.
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It’s because of all those years at Walla Walla Bing Bang Art School…they teach you to keep the fingers moving.
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I am speechless.
Please remimed me what I am doing here.
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You? Speechless?
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Your opening sentence remimeded me of a mutual friend who likes purple. I love the idea of a mime detector.
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I’m surprised she didn’t click the “like” button on your comment. Anything with the word purple in it usually gets an immediate response from her.
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Phew! It was an oversight. I clicked like. You can’t go wrong with purple. Mauve and lavender, indigo and violet…all on the right spectrum.
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Dear Rambling Ross,
You’ll never pick Shelley out of a line-up. Her head doesn’t reach them and she’s hiding behind an invisible wall. Well, I don’t mime if you don’t mime. Feh on your detector.
Shalom,
Betsy Ross W(T)F
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Dear Betsy Ross W(T)F,
I’m sure Lowry will have her stand on a chair during the line-up so that Harvey Wingnut can get a good look at her. There will probably be a few Do-Not-Remove tags sticking out from under her beret.
I’ll shut up now,
Rambling Ross
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Mr Wingnut – great name, if anyone can identify a criminal mime, it’s him.
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Harvey Wingnut capture images of her on his security cameras. At first, he thought it was a midget dressed as a clown.
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May I suggest a grease-paint sniffing dog? very fun read!
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Great idea, Violet. I may have to work a special K-9 unit into the story.
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With Liza Jane at the lead. 😉
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good luck finding ’em. mimes are so quiet you could hear a pin drop even when they’re just hiding close by. 🙂
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Ha! Ha! Just be careful and avoid land mimes.
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Oh, there are plenty of landmimes, but they are easy to spot by their little berets sticking out of the sandbox.
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Reblogged this on Musings on Life & Experience and commented:
More two-for-free zaniness from Russell Gayer. If you want more of this, just float to the top of the blog, paddle right, and click on one, or better, both, the book covers there. You can also help out Russell by reblogging this post from your blog as I’ve done.
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Thanks again, Suzanne. You’re too kind.
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A mime detector? The French would never forgive that. 😀 — Suzanne
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Trump has border security working on it now. Making the mimes pay for an invisible wall is the challenge.
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I’m going to mime my reaction to your tale. Here goes…..
My FriFic tale!
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Wow, impressive, Keith.
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LOL!
I have people in my life who can’t just tell you they went to the store. They need to tell you the whole backstory, which can go back pretty far. I love them, they’re not going to change; so I let my mind float, and smile and nod whenever they look at me expectantly.
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I think we all know a few of those folks, Linda.
There’s a story in my first book entitled, “Much Nothing About Ado” which tells of such a rambler who talks for hours about going to the store to purchase a bottle of aspirin.
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Yes. Exactly.
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Chief is in a bad mood. Not a good time to propose new idea.
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You’re right, Abhijit. The chief is always in a bad mood. But hey, aren’t most bosses?
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A series of groans as everyone mimed for puns. But then a groan is as good as a chuckle…left me grinning.
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Indeed, Andrea. At least they reacted.
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Would a mime detector pick up on one who used to mime, but no longer does? Or someone who will take up miming in the future? I’m guessing there will be a lot of false positives.
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It depends on the settings and how deeply the mime DNA was buried in their subconsciousness. I’m sure there will be some false readings, but better safe than sorry.
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A Mime Detector…OMG…that’s rich!
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expensive too.
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The mime is the lowest form of wit, I believe we have established before. There definitely should be a mime detector, hunt the devils out! And as for rambling – guilty as charged. Just don’t lock me up with the mimes …
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Hmmm . . .locking someone up with mimes. That sounds like a new form of torture (although cruel and inhumane).
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🙂
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