What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Watching & Waiting
We were at my daughter’s house the other day and she was watching “Hollywood Medium” on TV. This is a show where a handsome young man scribbles on a notepad while visiting with celebrities about their deceased relatives.
It seems to me that people in the income bracket these actors enjoy could afford someone a step above “Medium.” Why settle for average, or middle-of-the-road when you could order a “Supreme?”
If I was going to the time, trouble, and expense of hiring a psychic, I’d at least try to get one who could provide me the winning numbers for the next Mega-Millions Jackpot.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, our wave-swept leader (who writes to her invisible friend, “Friday,” on Wednesdays) is Robin Crusoe Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
copyright – Susan Eames
Darren was a patient man, but his patience was wearing thin. The minutes turned into hours, and the days into weeks.
From his perch high above the sand, he scanned the distant horizon in hopes of seeing a tiny spec that would grow into a boat or seaplane.
He’d grown accustomed to the long days, and the even longer, lonely nights. The only thing that kept him going was a dream of deliverance. Shaking from the hunger pangs he punched in the 800 number and waited.
“Hello. Domino’s?” He shouted into the phone. “Where’s my damn pizza?”
53 Comments on “Watching & Waiting”
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What's So Funny? 
You got me – again! Nice twist, Russell, and an engaging story.
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I thought about having him order a truck load of sand, but that was just too absurd.
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Ha ha – you got me too! Thanks for making me laugh, Russell.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Thanks, Susan. And thanks for the fine photo to work with.
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Dear Friday,
I hope you at least ordered a Supreme pizza and not a medium. Personally I like mine with pineapple which has caused quite the debate on Facebook. Nothing like important discussions about things that matter. Hold tight to that perch and try not to drop the signal.
Don’t let this go to your head, but some people think you’re a real person.
Shalom,
Robin Crusoe W(T)F
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Dear Robin Crusoe W(T)F,
The discussion about pineapple on pizza is more heated than global warming and immigration combined. Connie has long loved the Hawaiian (Canadian Bacon & Pineapple) and I find it quite tasty myself.
I don’t think anyone considers me a “real” person, but at least it gives YOU someone to talk to besides your collection of Do-Not-Remove tags.
Friday (not to be confused with Wednesday)
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I wondered where this would go. Good one, RG.
Hmmm… I wonder what the guy scribbling on a notepad about you would be called???
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Anyone scribbling about me on a notepad would be called a psychotic.
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Great twist, Russell
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Thank you, Neil.
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Won’t he get the pizza for free now that the 30 minute delivery window has passed? 🙂
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Yes, but it’s definitely cold, and possibly moldy , , , especially the pineapple.
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That last line made me laugh. I’d be mad too, after a diet of just coconuts and fish. He’d better tip well though.
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Don’t count on a tip, David. He’s pretty sore about being up a tree for so long.
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At least if it’s taken this long he should get it for free.
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True, but it’s definitely cold and possibly moldy (especially the pineapple).
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i guess he’s starting to hallucinate, a precursor to eternal redemption. 🙂
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Probably talking into a sea shell. 🙂
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Does make one wonder where they got the term “Medium” from…
As for the pizza. Hole the pineapple and extra onions, please; I’m on my way. Might get there before the pizza does!
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I’m sure you will arrive first. I think the pizza took a wrong turn at Philadelphia.
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Dang…
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Nice take. Where no one goes, Dominos go boldly. Only issue, he has to keep his phone charged. Should not waste battery by making unnecessary calls.
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Good observation about the phone. I wonder if they added roaming charges to that call.
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Did he order a coconut topping?
And he should get a bottle of water too, then he can pretend he is Sting and send a message.
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The problem was he ordered a pitcher of beer too, and the driver drank it on the way and got lost.
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I think I missed that chart-topper:
I hope that someone gets my
Message in a Pitcher
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He’s got his priorities right I guess. Pizza first, then rescue.
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Who wants to get rescued on an empty stomach?
If it had been a young lady, she would’ve had to put her makeup on first.
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The struggle is real. The first thing we do when we get home from Mexico is fine a great restaurant without Mexican food. Yum, pizza sounds good too.
I would want a supreme psychic, just saying.
Tracey
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No matter how great the food is, you can get burned out on it. We spent a week in New Orleans and I got tired of Cajun, which is hard to do since it’s one of my favorites.
I want a supreme psychic too. Where can we get one?
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We’re writers, we can conjure anyone we want.
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Shame on them for not delivering. Fun story.
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If they took the order (and his credit card number) they should have followed through.
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Oh, Russell. You always leave me laughing 🙂
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Thanks, Linda. I’ll give you 30 minutes to stop saying things like that. 🙂
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LOL! I love it!!!!!!
DB McNicol
author, traveler, shutterbug
Author Blog
Personal Blog
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It would have been quicker if Domino’s had flung it across the water like a frisbee!
My go at Friday Fictioneers!
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It was probably coming from Australia and they used a boomerang instead. That explains the delivery error.
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Reblogged this on Musings on Life & Experience and commented:
Another twofer for FREE. If you like this hilarious humor, rise to the top of the blog and on the right click on one or both of the covers of Russell’s books. To help out, you can also reblog this post as I’ve done.
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You are too sweet! 🙂
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A hilarious twist, Russell. Darren is indeed a patient man. Might I suggest he tip the delivery man more than usual? I’m told that sometimes helps. For that location, Dominos needs drones. 😀 — Suzanne
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Drones would be great. They wouldn’t expect a tip either. Let’s hope it doesn’t get caught in a hurricane.
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A hurricane would be terrible. His pizza might be blown to the wrong island. Or, half the toppings could be blown astray. 😦 — Suzanne
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A hilarious story as always!
For some reason, your first part reminded me of the commercial series, “Just okay is not okay.” You wouldn’t want a pilot or a surgeon who was “just okay.”
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Thanks, Brenda.
There was a Chinese restaurant in Fayetteville called OK China. It didn’t last long. I predicted it’s downfall as soon as I saw the name. Who wants ho-hum Chinese food?
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That’s so funny, I’m still laughing. =)
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His pizza will be cold by the time it arrivres
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And the beer will be hot–if the driver hasn’t already consumed it.
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Oh gosh. What a scream. Another hilarious story from you, Russell.
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Thanks, Margaret. I’m glad you got a chuckle from it.
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The lengths we will go to for pizza…
Funny story.
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Ain’t that the truth!
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I always enjoy the chuckle your stories bring, Russell. This one seemed serious until the final few lines… You had me tricked.
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