What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Plugging In
When we hear stories about a particularly heinous crime, someone will always remark, “There’s a special place in Hell for people like that.”
What exactly does that statement imply? That the vile offender will be granted an exalted position in Hades as a reward for “Excellence in Evil?” If so, where does this leave the common, everyday sinner when cast into the fires of eternal damnation?
These are today’s burning questions (pun intended). Feel free to share your views in the comments section.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, our stage director, who always manages to connect with the audience, is “Sparky” Alma Edison Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
“I’m on the nominating committee to fill that vacancy on the board of directors.” Richard’s voice was soft and reassuring. “You’d make a great board member.”
Edith blushed and bit her lower lip to conceal an ever-widening smile. She visualized herself on the annual report cover.
“The hot tub is full,” he said.
“Sounds good, but I didn’t bring a swimsuit.”
“Neither did I.” Richard flashed an impish grin.
She removed her dress and draped it across a chair in front of the mirror. “Edith Cox, board member,” she announced to her reflection. I like the sound of that.
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What's So Funny? 
Dear Chairman of the Bored,
Sounds like the meeting is going to be one for the books. As for Hell, I would think a special place would be the hottest part. Puns should always be intended. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Shalom,
“Sparky” Alma Edison W(T)F
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Dear “Sparky” Alma Edison W(T)F,
I was sure you’d say the Most Evil would be in the same penthouse reserved for those who steal Do-Not-Remove tags.
Chairman of the Board
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sounds like the casting couch to me
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Clearly a case of Quid Pro Quo. Satan can be quite tempting with his offers.
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A serious moment for Mr. Gayer this week. My guess is that “special place” for Richard will be eternity in a boiling hot tub….
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Sorry, not the usual LOL humor I try to evoke here. Maybe next time . . .
I assume the Devil is an Equal Opportunity Employer. Hope I don’t get to find out in person. 🙂
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Not complaining – Although I do really enjoy your humor I think this was well written and wouldn’t mind seeing this side come out more often.
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That’s very kind of you, Trent. 🙂
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Yikes, shades of the casting couch here!
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Yep. Exactly.
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According to Mr Dante, hell has nine circles, so it might be tricky finding a wee quiet corner to call your special place there.
Interesting that you call your sleazy MC by his formal name, which is not how Edith will undoubtedly be referring to him quite soon.
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Glad you noticed the formal version of his name. (referring to him by his nickname would have just appeared tacky) He’ll soon be joining a throng of other formerly-respected executives in getting a taste of Hell while still on earth.
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Oh Edith, has she not been watching the news for the last couple of years? I hope she will think it was worth it in the end…
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Evidently, Richard hasn’t been watching it either. As the predator, he has the most to lose in the long run.
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The Excellence in Evil Award has so many contenders! Hell will run out of room.
I thought Edith had better sense than that! 🙂
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It makes you wonder if Satan holds an awards show every year. I’m sure there’s quite a list on nominees in each category–especially sexual predator.
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I think Edith is selling herself way short. It would take a heck of a lot more to even tempt me than a spot on a company pamphlet. A hot tub to hell has a snappy ring to it. Hilarious, Russell. 😀 — Suzanne
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I like the “Hot Tub to Hell” phrase. 🙂
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Reblogged this on Musings on Life & Experience and commented:
Another snappy doubke serving of humor by Russell. If this is something you like, just creep up to the top of the blog and click on one or both of his books. You can also reblog this.
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Thanks again, Suzanne. This one was a little different from my normal stuff, but I think the message comes through clearly enough.
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I guess she sees it as a good trade. I was just thinking how being on a board of directors has less to do with what you know and more who you know.
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I believe that’s the case in all major corporations. Usually, you have to be rich, but I guess if you’re good in the hot tub that also qualifies a candidate.
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That’s the kind of resume you can’t put on paper, I guess.
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I like this side of you, Russell! And honestly, both of them are out of reality… Things don’t work like that anymore. Well, that’s not true…. things still do but now there are chances for repercussions.
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Thank you, Dale. When people start thinking with other organs besides their brain the thought of repercussions goes out the window.
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Indeed…
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Board of director or not, Edith and Richard are off to a good time in the tub.
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Whenever I hear people intone about “the special place in hell” for certain types of people, (and it has become distastefully fashionable of late), it always makes me wonder how these people can consider themselves to be so conversant with the the structure of the place they’re talking about. As for Richard… he may well shortly be acquainted with it.
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I wonder the same thing, Sandra. So far, no one I know has been given a guided tour and returned to give us the details.
There are also some people who believe there are different levels of accommodation in Heaven as well. Evidently, they are reading from a different book than the one I have.
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Go for it, Edith. Once on the Board of Directors you’ve got Richard by the short and curlies.
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Looks like Richard is getting that special place in hell (maybe the hottest tub there).
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I guess Richard is the one who gets that special place in hell (I’d assume he’d be pushed into a boiling hot tub of tar).
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I like the story. It would make an excellent longer piece as well, I think. I enjoyed this writing style very much.
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Thank you, Penny. Actually, it is a snippet from an unfinished work (not touched in 5+ years) entitled, “Baby, It’s Cold Down Here.” It’s a story of a drastic temperature drop in Hades caused by a young woman who had previously said, “Hell will freeze over before I ever give my heart to another man.”
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Ew, Edith should know better even if she gets what she wants. But there’ll always be a bad taste about it. Interesting new style (experiment?) Russell.
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This is an excerpt from an unfinished story. It’s a romance (of all things) about a girl who said Hell would freeze over if she ever fell in love again.
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Yikes.
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Edith is cheapening herself. If she wants her pictures to be viewed, she’d be better off posting them on Instagram!
You wrote a serious story this time… how unlike you! I liked it. 😊
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quite unethical but many people are quite capable of things like that
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In the long version, she doesn’t “go all the way” and it ultimately costs her job. This was written prior to the #MeToo movement.
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