What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Out of the Cold
The topic of today’s FFF intro is Wisdom Teeth. According to Wikipedia, they’re called Wisdom Teeth because they come in so much later than your other permanent teeth (or, if you’re from Arkansas—your single permanent TOOTH). Since they choose to show up so late, a better name might’ve been Procrastinator Teeth.
Some people opt, and even pay exorbitant amounts of money, to have theirs extracted. If this is example of wisdom, it’s certainly an odd symptom of sound judgment.
My two upper ones were yanked out by their roots years ago. The other two are so lazy they flopped over on their side and have no intention of showing themselves. I take comfort in the fact that having two remaining makes we half as wise as some people and twice as wise as others. How many Wisdom Teeth do you have?
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the Head Nurse who prefers to extract 100-word stories without anesthesia is Charlotte Diesel Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
Reaching out, Shelley’s hand came in contact with something solid. It felt hard, yet smooth and cool to the touch. She opened her eyes.
“Oh my God!” she whispered. “I can see it!”
The sides and corners of the box were clearly defined by thin blue lines, creating a three-dimensional image, holographic in nature.
Awestruck, Shelley began to weep. She pressed her cheek against box and let her tears glide down its surface.
Mr. DeKalb slid an arm around her shoulders.
“Congratulations, my dear. You have a special gift. Millions of people have eyes, but only a few can truly see.”
*the above is an excerpt from Criminal Mimes in which Shelley “sees” and invisible box for the first time.
33 Comments on “Out of the Cold”
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What's So Funny? 
We’ve missed you, Russell! And I, alas, had to have all FOUR of my wisdom yanked (three of which were impacted) because they would have buggered up all the orthodontic work I’d had done… So. I was wise and am no longer?
How happy for Shelley to be able to see 😉
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Thank you, Dale. I have missed being here as well. We have had a major remodel project going on that has taken a great deal of time and effort.
Glad you enjoyed the snippet. Too bad I couldn’t have shared the entire chapter explaining how Shelley came to be able to see invisible objects. Oh well, it will all be in the book when finally completed and published.
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Understandable and we understand even while we miss you!
I did. I guess I’ll just have to wait then!
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You have been missed! I can’t wait to see what happens next with Criminal Mimes!
(Apparently I am now devoid of wisdom as the last two teeth were ripped out this past year. I won’t even mention just how long I waited since the first two were uprooted.)
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Thanks, Morgaine. I’ve missed being here as well. Criminal Mimes is at 35,000 words and counting, so I estimate it will take at least another 15,000 to complete the first draft. Hopefully, by this time next year it will be ready to submit to a publisher.
As to the wisdom teeth, you are not alone. The majority of the people I know have had all four extracted and it hasn’t appeared to effect their judgment in the least.
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I’m thinking you’ve abandoned your old style with this work. Or else I need to replace the antifreeze in my sense of humour. Interesting departure, Rusell
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I appreciate your honesty, Neil. I thought about writing something new, but instead got lazy and used an excerpt (which failed to get the “funny” to transfer). This is the revelation scene in the book where the mime (Shelley) learns she has the ability to see the invisible box.
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All my wisdom teeth are present and correct. I’m not sure it has made me any wiser though. This is earth-shattering – the box has finally been seen – this changes everything!!
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I’m glad to hear you have all your chompers, Iain. According to the internet, this third row of molars helped primitive man chew rough food such as nuts and roots.
Yes, now we know that being able to see the invisible box is a special talent that only few possess.
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Russell, it’s nice to see you 🙂 And I love your story.
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It’s nice to see you too, Linda. Thanks for stopping by.
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Dear Detective Lowry,
It so happens all four my of wisdom teeth are in good standing. Actually just below the surface. A fact that fascinates my oral surgeon. He has called his staff to look at my 3D X-rays on more than one occasion. What can I say, these teeth are perfectly happy nestled below the gum-line. If they agree. I agree.
Now…I’m intrigued that Shelley sees the invisible box. I knew she was a special mime. 😉 If millions of eyes can see, why am I so (not) blind. Dee dee dee dee dee dee…glad you’re back from your holiday.
While we’re at it, Jan and I have a few projects around the house if you’re ever back in the neighborhood.
No fruit cup for you, you’re 12 seconds late.
Shalom and Merry Christmas,
Charlotte Diesel W(T)F
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Dear Nurse Diesel W(T)F,
Perhaps I can help Jan decorate a cedar (out in your front yard) with aluminum cans, but that’s about as far as my talent can reach. And I’m slow–it might take 3 or 4 days to get the tree decorated. In that amount of time I can eat up a lot of groceries. . . . and then there’s the beer.
Hope it’s 60 in Belton next week.
Colton Lowry, Esq.
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With age comes wisdom teeth.
I think Oscar Wilde nearly said that.
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It’s amazing how many things that man almost said.
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Good to pick up on the mimes again. How fascinating that some people can see the invisible box!
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Mimes would never be able to get out of their invisible boxes if they couldn’t find the door. 🙂
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Very true – I didn’t think of that!
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after such a long time, i can see you again. what a miracle. 🙂
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Nah, no miracles here. It must have something to do with your wisdom teeth.
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Well, you’re twice as wise as me. Had all four removed a number of years ago. Your intro made me cringe. Had oral surgery four weeks ago and the surgeon “crushed” the tooth in front of the tooth she extracted (yikes). Had three extra dental trips to get a cap. Not liking dentists at the moment. =)
Very touching scene with Shelley seeing for the first time!
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Ouch! I don’t think I’d like your dentist either.
My lower wisdom teeth are impacted and are lying on their sides facing the front. When I was about 30 my dentist encouraged me to go to an oral surgeon and have them removed. I did not do so. A couple of years ago, I mentioned to him that they had never been removed. He said if they hadn’t given me trouble by now there was no reason to worry about them. So I said, “It was a good thing I didn’t take your advice 30 years ago.”
I’m glad you enjoyed the snippet from the mime story.
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Reblogged this on Musings on Life & Experience and commented:
Once more you get two stories for the price of naught. If you enjoyed this zany humor, you can get more by looking on the right side and clicking on one or both of the book covers. To be more helpful you can reblog this post from your blog. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Thanks for your love and support, Suzanne.
Wishing you and yours a Merry Christmas and a happy, safe, and healthy New Year.
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You’re welcome, Russell. A Merry Christmas and Happy and Healthy New Year to you also. 🙂 — Suzanne
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I only ever had two wisdom teeth. The top left one had to be removed as it was no good. The bottom left one was a late bloomer and came in sideways while I was sitting in college classes. It finally straightened. It was huge. 😦 — Suzanne
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Both my upper wisdom teeth came out the sides of my gums and irritated the insides of my cheeks. They were quite large. From what I read, this third set of molars (wisdom teeth) helped primative man grind up his diet of roots and nuts. Mine would have been worthless for that.
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Do you mean you tried chewing roots and nuts with them? 😀 — Suzanne
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A clear message, we see everything around us and mostly never comprehend the truth.Well told.
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You’re right. We are in such a hurry that we miss many of the most beautiful mysteries in life.
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I had all of my wisdom (teeth) removed before it (they) could cause me pain. Ignorance is bliss. 😀
Has anyone besides Shelley ever seen the invisible box?
It’s nice to see you back on Friday Fictioneers!
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That was a wise choice on the teeth.
The “true owner” of the invisible box, Lucinda has the ability to see it. It was stolen from her home (by Shelley) in the first chapter of the book. Toward the end of the story, it will be revealed that a third person has the gift of seeing invisible objects as well, but right now I’m not telling who. 🙂
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So Shelley is a thief! You’ve got me curious about the third person with the gift.
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