What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Catch & Release
Gifts I received this Christmas included the David Sedaris Masterclass Course on Storytelling & Humor, and a book entitled “642 Things to Write About.”
Each page of the book contains at least one short writing prompt and enough blank lines to scribble something on the topic. Here is one example: Write about what you’ll be worrying about five years from now, ten years from now, and in thirty years.
Unless you plan to be cremated, worms in the coffin might be a concern. Or, if you plan to be buried at sea—that could open up a whole new can of tuna.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the Kansas City Sardine who hooks a keeper from her pool of photo prompts each is Wanda Gerschwitz Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
To heighten your camping adventure, I suggest selecting a site near water. My personal favorite is a second-floor hotel balcony overlooking a salt-water pool.
The fishing usually isn’t very good, but on one occasion I did catch half of a two-piece bathing suit.
It put up a real good fight too, charging back and forth from one end of the pool to the other. That is, until the girl’s boyfriend snatched the rod from my hands and broke it over my head.
He obviously wasn’t a fisherman and refused to accept my explanation regarding the concept of “catch and release.”
50 Comments on “Catch & Release”
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What's So Funny? 
Oh man. That’s funny.
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Thanks. It was fun to write too. 🙂
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I imagine you explaining with your hands, as fishermen do.
‘They were, I mean it was, thiiiis biiig!’
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Your comment made me chuckle, C.E.
Actually, the part I landed was rather small, but it covered some interesting areas on the “fish.”
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Dear Bob Izumi Gayer,
No doubt the fresh catch of the day’s S.O. is making a necklace for her with your teeth. Those gold crowns should look really nice against her bronzed skin in the sunlight. Perhaps another body of water and another body would better serve. What time’s the fish fry? As for best presents, I’m tippy tapping merrily along on mine. 😀 Be sure to ask Jan about his new Zager guitar. 😉
Shalom,
Wanda Gershwitz W(T)F
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Dear Wanda Gerschwitz W(T)F,
I’m surprised you didn’t ask what I was using for bait. Don’t bother. There are some secrets we fisherman don’t share. Since I’m from Arkansas, the necklace never came into play as one tooth wouldn’t make much to hang around her neck.
Glad to hear you took my advice about your OWL contest winnings and bought something nice for Jan. He deserves it.
Best wishes,
Bob Izumi Gayer
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And then you both woke up. 😉
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The kind of fishing that might interest a few of the younger crowd. I’ll stick to an isolated spot somewhere and a bit of peace and quiet! 🙂
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Where’s the excitment in that, Iain? At my age, I wouldn’t know what to do with a catch like that if I’d have landed her.
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We all inhabit slightly different worlds, some stranger than others
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Very true, Neil.
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To me it sounds like her boyfriend was more big-game hunter than a fisherman, hunting carnivores with your bare hands is the next big thing, and bringing a lure is a great trick
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Yes, I’d say her boyfriend has some issues and sees himself as a he-man. Breaking another man’s rod is a crime and assault with a deadly weapon. He did bring a nice lure though.
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Breaking another man’s rod made me think of something that has nothing to do with fishing
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Ha! My thoughts exactly when I was typing it. 🙂
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So glad to see you back and eliciting a guffaw from me, to boot!
Methinks the fisherman’s tale is probably thiiiiiiiiiisssss big!
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Thanks, Dale. I would love to hear him describe the battle the “fish” put up and the exact measurements of the catch.
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So would I!!
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Catch of the day! The boyfriend spoiled the saga.
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Ain’t it just like a boyfriend to ruin a perfect day’s fishing.
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This story had me grinning, Russell. The vision of the ‘fish’ swimming from end to end while you delicately try to land her is hilarious!
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Thanks, Penny. When you hook a big one, you really have to play them or they’ll break your line.
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Naughty, naughty!
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🙂
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Haha I love this! So funny!
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Thanks, Tasha. When I first saw your comment, I thought it was from Tina Louise (of Gilligan’s Island fame). 🙂 She was quite a catch too.
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Haha I can’t say I’ve heard of her, I don’t think we had Gilligan’s Island in the UK!
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You should look her up.
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HAHAHA! Mermaid-approved! 😀
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Excellent. I appreciate the 5 star rating.
Perhaps Henri would like to go fishing with me sometime.
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He would love to! 🙂
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Even I would enjoy that kind of fishing! You can keep your carp!
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It’s dangerous business, but certainly has its moments.
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oh my, the boyfriend is one mean hot rod man. 🙂
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Oh, he was defending the girl’s honor and warding off a potential dirty old man.
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Oh dear, he must have made that up. I bet she broke the rod herself, and didn’t need a boyfriend. This made me chuckle.
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I’m sure she could have as many boyfriends as she wants.
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Love it – catch and release. If the boyfriend doesn’t fit – get rid.
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That’s another way to look at it.
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Funny but slightly creepy! An interesting take on the prompt for sure.
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It’s purely fictitious. Who would go fishing in a cement pond?
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Reblogged this on Musings on Life & Experience and commented:
Two more hilarious stories for free. If you want to read more of this zany humor, just rise to the top right of this post and click on one of the book covers there. You can help out Russell even more by reblogging this post on your blog.
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Where’s the love button? Thanks for the reblog, Suzanne.
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I’m with you, Russell. I don’t plan to live beyond my 100th birthday which would be 2041. So far, no one on either side of my family has lived through their 90s. Anyone who says they want to live to be 100 is probably not much over 55 years of age or has visited a retirement home. —- Suzanne
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Personally, I thought that was the most ridiculous writing prompt ever. Write what you’ll worry about? The last thing I want to worry about is worry–and it sure doesn’t sound like a fun or interesting topic.
I don’t plan to live forever either. When it stops being fun, I hope the Lord calls me home.
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I pictured this all…and laughed out loud!
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It’s about long enough for a GEICO commercial. Wonder how much they’d pay me for it?
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Buck two ninety-eight?
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Wow, that much? Maybe I should submit it.
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