What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Surfboard of Denial
Friday night, we played cards with another couple. For a twist, I suggested we name our teams and add cheers or fight songs like you might hear at a high school or college sporting event.
Instead of choosing a fierce animal, bird, or renowned race of fighting people, we chose vegetables for our mascots. Ross and I were the Onions—known for our pungent odor and ability to bring our opponents to tears—while Connie and Peg decided to call their team the Beets. As the night wore on, the ladies’ became Un“Beet”able and won every game.
What rough & ready fruit or vegetable would you choose for your team mascot?
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the Kansas City Kumquat, who posts our photo prompt each week, is Mayapple Fritter Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
Who were these strangers at our class reunion? Not one resembled their image in our high school yearbook.
Gray hair, no hair, wrinkles, and beer guts had overtaken the firm, athletic physiques of my classmates—and that was just the women. The men were even more wretched and despicable.
I’d heard of people getting old, but assumed it was a matter of choice. Failing body organs and memory loss made aging like performing death-defying stunts blindfolded—or writing cursive with the wrong hand.
That night I realized not everyone is equipped to handle the trials and tribulations of old age.
44 Comments on “Surfboard of Denial”
I'd love to hear from you
Purchase ‘One Idiot Short of a Village’
Purchase ‘The Perils of Heavy Thinking’
What's So Funny? 
We often don’t factor in that the people we remember from the old days have probably aged too. You captured that well, Russell
LikeLiked by 2 people
You’re right. We all still feel 25 inside.
LikeLike
So, getting old is a matter of choice? Nice way to shatter my hopes and dreams. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Whatever happened to “You’re only as old as you feel?”
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Onion Ring,
This puts me in mind of the reunions Jan and I have attended. Both his and mine. We’ve decided we’re not too shabby for a couple of senile citizens. I often swim laps in the Denial River. 😉 What’s sad is we show up for those reunions to see who’s still alive. Wow, I’ve depressed myself. Hope you’re pleased with your smelly self.
Shalom,
Mayapple Fritter W(T)F
LikeLiked by 2 people
Dear Mayapple Fritter W(T)F,
I bet there were a lot of other Mimes in your class at Walla Walla Bing Bang. That should make for some riviting conversations. 🙂
Nuf said,
Onion Ring
LikeLike
Personally I’d run a mile from a reunion. There are just some truths that you shouldn’t have to absorb.
LikeLiked by 2 people
It’s okay to look, but don’t touch.
LikeLike
It’s funny. Many of my gang still get together and next year is our 40th (what???) high school reunion. I can tell you that a heck of a lot of ’em are still mighty fine looking…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yourself included. 🙂 Have fun at the reunion. I enjoyed my 40th.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Awww shucks… Thanks, Russell.
It’ll happen if I get involved 😉
LikeLike
Onions vs Beets! 😀
The good news is, due to memory loss, you won’t remember a thing from the reunion. 🙂
LikeLike
You always have a way of looking on the bright side, Morgaine. 🙂
LikeLike
That’s because I live in the dark side. 😀
LikeLike
I think I’d call my (female) team the Tomatoes!
My 55th! high school reunion is coming up. I probably won’t go. So far away, and I don’t enjoy flying any more. Might be kind of fun to see people, though. I imagine that very few of us look much like those senior photos in the year books 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know I don’t look like my senior photo. I had hair down to my shoulders (and my hair was dark). Today, I still have lots of hair, but it’s short and all silver.
LikeLike
I would be the common potato – unspectacular but reliable, with the ability to be turned into delicious fries!
Let’s not talk about growing old, it’s too painful.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Potatos are good, but not to fierce. Now, if you were a sweet potato . . .
That opens up a whole new group of options.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Can’t quite stop the march of age, and you are right not everyone handles it the same. Love the second paragraph. I would choose beet too because I love beets, I just steamed a mess of yellow and red and they are delicious, and of course it would be so fun to beet you. Oh hey, I saw a bunch of beautiful fish that had just been caught, where did you buy them?
LikeLike
I like Beets too, especially Connie.
As to the fish, I will not, under any circumstance, reveal my source. I tell everyone who ask where I caught them, “I caught them all in the mouth.”
LikeLike
Humorous reality check. I’d be a tomato.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What? With all those good options like asparagus?
LikeLike
Being far away from the possibility of any school reunion makes me super happy. Donn goes to his when they happen. He loves them! Fun story Onion Ring. Lish
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Potato Eye,
You might have to go to Idaho for you reunion. I hear they grow red, white, and golden potatoes there.
LikeLike
Isn’t it strange, Russell, that everyone is showing signs of decrepitude except you and me?
And I’m not really so sure about you…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, I was going to say the same thing about you C.E.
LikeLike
i remember attending our high school reunion. folks looked really old. but who’s talking? i did too. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sometimes I feel lucky just to be alive long enough to attend a reunion.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The other day I saw a woman who I really fancied when she was a girl in our school day. OMG! Say no more!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can’t help but wonder what she thought when see saw you too.
Still handsome after all these years, I suppose.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It seems aging is not for the faint-hearted. No reunions for me, I am not that strong.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nah, they are not. I went to my 40th. It wasn’t that bad. I looked better than the majority–except for those who were already deceased.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nothing a fountain of youth can’t fix. Fun story and preamble!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, the fountain of youth makes excellent bath warm as long as you don’t stay in too long.
Thanks for dropping by and your lovely comment. 🙂
LikeLike
Not everyone is equipped, which is why I keep trying to deny the process, which brings me to fruit, Kiwi (ripe) – hairy on the outside, gooey mess on the inside.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re right. Aging isn’t for the weak of heart.
I love your team name, The Kiwis. They sounld like a force to be reckoned with.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I always think I look much younger than people my age. I’m obviously not alone in this observation.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re certainly not. You look pretty young to me.
LikeLike
That’s what my step mother says 😉
LikeLike
I didn’t really enjoy my school, and I’ve never been back. Still, I’ve met one or two former schoolmates and we’re not so dusty given it’s over forty years since we were there! I would choose rice as my vegetable…
Fun story, Russell, in a grisly sort of way!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hmm . . . I thought of rice as team mascot, but I guess it could be pretty intimidating.
LikeLike
I loved the way you described the women, too funny. I would have enjoyed attending this school. Great story.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Aging treats some people much worse than others.
However, there was one women who aged extremely gracefully. I wish I knew her secret.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Aging is far more impressive than death-defying stunts! Stunts take only a few moments or hours The former, on the other hand…
LikeLike