What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Sideways in Paris
No intro this month—you can breathe a sigh of relief.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the keeper of bats in the Belton belfrey who posts our photo prompt each week, is Denise “The Purple Menace” Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
Dalia Calvin and Roccella Cline were into the fashion business—big time. Sales of their line of designer clothing had reached double-digits and was threatening to climb into an area known as “the black.”
Then came the invitation.
We would be honored to exhibit your outstanding designs at our fall fashion show in Paris. Models of all sizes are available. *
This was a perfect fit. Roccella specialized in small and petite fashions, while Dalia created dazzling outfits to grace women of Amazon height.
Roccella gasped at the twenty-five-foot Eifel Tower replica. “This isn’t Paris!”
“Is too,” Dalia said. “It’s Paris, Arkansas.”
*This is the paragraph I had to cut.
Dalia fainted upon reading the news. When Dalia finally came to, two glasses of wine later, Roccella poured a glass for Dalia.
47 Comments on “Sideways in Paris”
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What's So Funny? 
They will conquer the fashion world one Paris at a time! 🙂
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Yes, Morgaine. I hear Dalia has something special coming out specifically for mermaids.
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Oh, good! I can use some new scales. 😀
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Dear Vern Wang,
No intro? I demand a refund…or at least half off the admission price. Why do these two fashion designers sound familiar? You’d think Roccella would realize there was a considerably longer distance between Paris, France and Belton, Missouri. Paris, Arkansas? Gay puree.
Shalom and keep your distance,
Denise “The Purple Menace” W(T)F
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Dear Denise “the Purple Menace” W(T)F,
How about two intros next time? With all the international travel bans on, this was the closest Paris these two dreamers could find. I wanted to work a couple “Ehs” in for Dalia, but after the word count limit forced me to drop the paragraph about wine guzzling there was still no room in the inn.
Do you have any purple-striped overalls in big-boy size?
Keeping my distance,
Vern Wang.
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Will need to add Paris, Arkansas to my bucket list 🙂
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That 25 ft Eiffel Tower replica will take your breath away. Don’t miss it!
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Dear Russell,
Ah, Paris in the spring! I hear the city fathers are thinking of changing the Cove Lake Recreation Area name to Covid Lake….
Don’t go swimming. Love to Connie. Stay safe.
Cheers,
Doug
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Thanks for stopping by, Doug. I’ve been enjoying reading your posts and glad to hear that New Zealand is almost out of the woods. Covid Lake sounds familiar. Isn’t it a cesspool?
Best to you and your love,
Russell
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Loved the 25 foot Eiffel Tower replica
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It was on 18 feet tall, but they added a 2 foot tall water fountain to raise it up a bit.
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Arkansas, France, what’s the difference? Oh yeah, everything. Good one.
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Yep, it’s all good.
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They’ve really hit the big time then. Well maybe the slightly more than small time.
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Well, you know those two. They can have a big time anywhere they go.
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Wrong Paris… How disappointing lol.
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Nah, Calvin seems okay with it. Cline is not so thrilled.
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Ha ha – why bother to travel to the real place, eh? That would mean risking a genuine experience – shock, horror! Nice one, Russell.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Paris, Arkansas is a real place. Just not a real BIG place from a well-known global perspective. Glad you enjoyed my take on Calvin & Cline, Susan.
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i googled paris, arkansas and was shocked to find out that it really exists. good luck on the fashion show. 🙂
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Nice little town too. I hear you can even get French Fries there.
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Ha! Paris, AK. What a let-down. Or perhaps just a step in the right direction. Thanks for the smile.
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It’s actually, Paris, AR, But don’t feel bad. A lot of people get us mixed up with Arizona and Alaska.
I suspect the short one will be wearing purple striped overalls for this show.
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Roccela and Dalia, eh? You do need models of all sizes to properly represent. And hey, Paris, Arkansas is a start… We can only move up! Woot!
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How did you like the last names, Calvin & Cline?
Good luck with the fashion show.
I can only assume all the small size oufits are purple. 🙂
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Very much…
Thank you, very kind…
And yes, the smaller sizes come in various shades of said colour. 😉
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What language do they speak in Paris, Arkansas?
And do they have an Arc de Triomphe made of Lego?
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They speak Hillbillyese, which can be difficult to process for those across the pond. It sounds something like this, “That thar is some fine feed-sack dress that yung gal is waring. Awful short tho–you can still see her ankles.”
They do have Legos, but haven’t figured out how to build an arch.
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Hey, you seen one Paris, you seen ’em all. What’s da problem?
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True, and at least the people in Paris, Arkansas are friendly.
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Ahh! So much for being in the black!
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It’s highly overrated anyway.
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Apparently.
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Yeah, Paris, Arkansas — the only place where they had to widen the main road to put the white line down the middle. Been missing you and the stories, my friend. I guess there IS a reason for Covid-19 after all.
Five out of five Osceolas to go with that wine.
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Perhaps Shelley told you that there is a character in Criminal Mimes that shares much of your background and mannerism. He’s a cable installer who likes to think of himself as producing HBO for his customers. Theo is a hoot. I tried not to be too mean. 🙂
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Yes, I saw it. I cracked up. It was just what I would have described someone. I have run into a LOT of people like that who you wonder HOW they even got in TV in the first place.
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Oh, that’s hilarious! I kept waiting for the punch line, which you very wisely saved until the very end.
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Well, you know how those two can be. They are definitely the long & short of it. I have a good time picking on them and they are such great sports about it.
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They sure are. Lots of fun.
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Ah, so sad there’s no intro. Hoping for next time. Calvin and Cline certainly have had their break, next stop Milan (Missouri) and then who knows! =)
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Sorry about the lack of an intro. Perhaps I’ll write two next time.
I’m sure Milan, Missouri would welcome those two, but the town would never be the same again.
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Wonderful last line! A great take on the photo.
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Glad you liked it. I hope you picked up that the two characters are Dale & Rochelle. They’re good buddies of mine, and I love to pick on them every chance I get.
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I hear they made a great movie about the place ‘The Last Time I Saw Paris, Arkansas’. Calvin and Cline should get together and form a new label Calvin Cline. A catchy name it might even work.
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I loved the line “threatening to climb into an area known as “the black.”” Had me grinning with that one, Russell!
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Reblogged this on Musings on Life & Experience and commented:
Another humorous tale from Russell. His humor is a great way to spend time at your home. If you enjoyed this fanciful story, just rise up and to the right of this post and click on the book covers there. You can also reblog this post as I did.
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At this point, Paris, Arkansas sounds exciting, Russell. 😀 — Suzanne
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