Joined at the Lip

Posted on June 10, 2020 by

54 Comments

Until recently, if you wore a mask into a liquor store people would assume that you were either a robber, or a Baptist hoping a fellow parishioner didn’t recognize you.

Today, thanks to the coronavirus, it’s fashionable for everyone to wear masks in public. All you need is a head to hang it on and a face to attach it to. Despite the fact that the majority of the public can meet this simple criterion, many people are intimidated by the thought of wearing a mask. Don’t be afraid. They don’t hurt. Plus, your mask will never tell your innermost secrets or go bragging to other masks about how many times you wore it in public last week.

If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the pint-size Superhero who presides over this hallowed institution is The Periwinkle Gnat Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.

copyright – Ronda Del Boccio

Louise leaned over the backyard fence and called to her neighbor, “Hey, Betty, wanna go—”

“shopping? Sure.” Betty’s eyes lit up. “We can go to TJ Maxx and—”

“then swing by Pancho’s Mexican for lunch—”

“and a couple of Mango Margaritas.” Betty tossed her garden gloves in a chair by the back door. “Just give me a—”

“a minute to freshen up and I’ll meet you at the car,” Louise said.

Betty’s husband shook his head. “Those girls are so close, if one of them took a laxative, they’d both have to go to the bathroom.”

 

Category: humorTags: , , , ,

54 Comments on “Joined at the Lip”

  1. Dear Mister Liza Jane’s Daddy,

    Your intro made me roll on the floor, seizing with (I hope) laughter.

    I have friends I’m almost that close to. I don’t think I’ll give the laxatives a try through. That would just precipitate more run off. Tanks for a good laugh.

    Shalom

    The Periwinkle Gnat (‘s whistle) W(T)F

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Dear Periwinkle Gnat W(T)F,

      Let’s hope the siezures stop soon. It probably has something to do with your addiction to purple (not enough lavender in your life lately?). Glad to hear you have some friends. Do they know about the mime thing? I bet there’s not a DNR tag left in their house.

      Try to stay out of the path of the run-off,
      Liza Jane’s Daddy

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  6. Ha! Made me smile so much! And yes, no need to fear the mask – me and my mask have become very close of late. She accompanies me everywhere 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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  7. And if one laughs, the other holds her sides?
    We live in interesting times when it is compulsory to wear a mask to go into a bank…

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Yes, that’s closer than I want to be with my friends–although we do have a two-seat outhouse. Batman and the Lone Ranger wear masks too, just over the wrong part of the faces.

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  11. LOL! I know some friends like that … And … hey, if you take a laxative, and have to spend a lot of time in the bathroom, might as well have a friend there for company … 😉

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  12. My problem is that if I wear a mask into a liquor store, people say “Perry, how are you? The usual beer, wine, liquor? And why are you wearing a stupid mask?”

    Liked by 1 person

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    • My guess is, you’re wearing the mask wrong, Perry. It’s supposed to cover your nose and mouth, not the top of your head. That’s where your kippah goes.

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  14. Strange times indeed when you are looked at askance for NOT wearing a mask…

    As for your story, there’s close and then there’s CLOSE… I draw the line at sharing the bathroom…mind you, with a stall between ’em…

    Liked by 1 person

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    • What I’ve found is that at certain stores a majority of customers wear masks and at others none. I find this disheartening, especially with the rise in cases in Northwest Arkansas.

      I’m sure you have some really close friends, Dale. However, I doubt you’ve ever invited someone over to share a roll of toilet paper. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      • It’s weird how some conform and others don’t. I don’t understand why they don’t enforce it more

        There is close and there is invasive. Some things should be done alone. I’ll share the paper, not the space!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Some American’s (I’ll not say which political party they support) are a rebellious and stiff-necked people. They get their panties in a wad worrying about their “rights” but have no consideration at all for the health and well-being of others–even their own family members. Stupid and Sad.

        Like

  21. I’ll bet Betty’s husband is secretly pleased that the two of them are so close. He doesn’t have to go shopping with his wife… woohoo!

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    • You’re right. Connie had a close friend named Nancy. Unfortunately, Nancy moved to Kentucky. I told her she was being selfish by not taking into consideration what was going to happen to me once she moved. She laughed and went to Kentucky anyway. Now, I have to go shopping . . .

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

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