What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Slow Times at Belton Jr. High
During my work career, I attended several classes on Time Management. The curriculum focused on scheduling activities and other tools to gain efficiency and become more productive.
However, occasions often arise where neither efficiency nor productivity is important. That’s why I decided to create a course called Time Wasters.
This class is designed to help people slow down and appreciate doing absolutely nothing. There are no lofty goals to achieve, no stressful timelines, and best of all—it’s impossible to fail. Our motto is, “Aim low and you’ll always miss your mark.”
“So, you going to the dance tomorrow night?” Shelley asked.
“No.” Clarence didn’t look up.
“It might be fun.”
“I doubt it. I don’t dance.”
“But you could listen to the music. Beeswax is playing.”
He shrugged. “I’d rather listen to ear wax.”
“You could hang out with your friends.”
“Don’t have any friends—‘cept Melvin—and he’s taking Debbie.”
“I don’t have a date either.” She sighed. “No one wants to go out with a short girl with curly hair.”
He stuck a finger in his ear and gave it a twist.
“Wanna listen to ear wax with me?”
29 Comments on “Slow Times at Belton Jr. High”
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What's So Funny? 
Dear Clarence,
What’s not to love about a short girl with naturally curly hair?
Time wasters sounds like an unworthy investment. Where do I sign?
Hope you can solve your WP woes.
Shalom,
The Nameless Wonder
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Dear Nameless in Belton W(T)F,
There’s a reason Clarence didn’t have to look “up.” I doubt the curly hair was much of a turn off. It was probably the sharp wit and twisted sense of humor.
Not sure you could pass the Time Wasters entrance exam. You are far too productive.
I’d love to give WordPress a piece of my mind regarding their recent upgrade, but I have so little mind left it seems pointless to share it.
Clarence,
Lost in Goshen
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Dear Clarence Lost in Goshen,
On the other hand, I think WP can use all the help it can get. Perhaps I should stand ladder and JAP slap the powers that be. (Pretty intimidating, dontcha think?)
Shalom
Nameless in Belton W(T)F
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I’d like to apply for a job as Professor in the school. I am highly qualified to teach Time Wasters? Want to see my resume? You’ve just see it. So when do I start?
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Perry,
Not only are you highly qualified, you’re OVER QUALIFIED! However, I would question your motives for wanting to teach. Does it have anything to do with the cute coeds who’ve already signed up for this course? Better stick to giving political advice (and directions to the nearest buffet) to Chris Christy.
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Quite the love story you’ve written there, Russell. As always, made me laugh.
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Thank you, Honie. Long time no see. Thanks for stopping by for a giggle.
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Maybe he has some hidden qualities other than ear wax that will make him a perfect date?
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Well, does have a nice collection of zits. She could play connect-the-dots and draw a giraffe. You know how Shelley loves art.
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He’s a charmer for sure.
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Yep. A girl doesn’t run across a boy like Clarence every day.
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Still cringing at the finger in the ear. Sweet story. (I’m not talking about the taste of ear wax!)
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Thanks, Mags. I’m sure the sound of ear wax is deafening. A budding romance it ain’t.
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funny as always. enjoyed it very much. 🙂
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Thank, Plaridel.
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Hey. Short girls with curly hair are adorable! And this boy is SO junior high 🙂
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Your comment made me chuckle, Linda. Yes, he’s definitely junior high!
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A good chuckle from that one.
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Thank you. That’s what we strive for here at “What’s So Funny?”
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I never attended a class on time management as I thought it would be a waste of time. I already know how to do that. 😉
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Perhaps you should consider joining the fauculty. I assure you, it would be a total waste of your time.
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I can surely add to the long list of time-wasting techniques. 😀
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Not the best chat-up line I’ve heard!
Here’s mine!
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No, his style could use some improvement.
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Ew!!! No thank you. To the dance alternative. I have quite enough ear wax of my own without needing – or wanting – to share, thanks. As for the time wasting club, I am afraid I have quite enough of those already, but I may look into it when I have more time. 😉 Both the story and the prequel made me laugh. Well played, sir.
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Thanks, glad you enjoyed the prequel. That’s part of the fun.
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This is fun. And it perfectly captures that awkward “going to the dance, not going to the dance” thing. Cheers! Lish
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Thanks, Lish. You have to feel for poor Shelley, though.
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I dunno…. I’m all in for the Time Waster class. Gonna skip on the earwax…
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