What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Parting the Yellow Sea
For those of us in the United States, yesterday was an important day. Grown men wearing top hats yanked a large rodent from its burrow and proclaimed Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow. I wish they’d pick a name that’s easier to pronounce. How about Punxsutawney Neil, or Punxsutawney Linda, or Punxsutawney Sacagawea?
And what’s up with the letters “PH” sounding like an “F?” It’s a conspiracy, I tell you. To prove my point, “H” even teams with “G” sometimes to make an “F” sound, as in EnouGH of this Phoolishness. What are they trying to do, kick “F” out of the alphabet?
Here’s your assignment. In the comments, change any word spelled with an “F” to “PH” or “GH” and words spelled with those letters to an “F.” Here’s an example: Who’s Aphraid ough Virginia Woulgh?
If you’re new to Phriday Phlash Phiction, the Phractured Phreda who runs this program is Fyllis Dilla Wisough-Phields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the Ph.Ph.Ph. Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
Three or four of us ten-year-old boys were milling around the bathroom when I discovered that one of the toilets was clogged. If you flushed it, water would surge over the bowl and create a mini tsunami across the floor.
Too bad we didn’t have some toy Egyptians and Hebrews. It would have been a great time to stage a reenactment of Moses parting the Yellow Sea.
A tattletale ratted me out and I was sent to the principal. On my way back to class, visions of Pharaoh and Egyptian chariots flooded my consciousness.
One more flush couldn’t hurt anything.
35 Comments on “Parting the Yellow Sea”
I'd love to hear from you
Purchase ‘One Idiot Short of a Village’
Purchase ‘The Perils of Heavy Thinking’
What's So Funny? 
Phew can be bothered with these antics
LikeLiked by 2 people
Phunny stuph, Russell. Someone was going back to the principal’s office. 😀 — Suzanne
LikeLiked by 1 person
Naw, not this time. The tattler was too busy ratting on someone else.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Punxsutawney Neil,
Let’s just be thankful it was only a Yellow Sea instead of a darker color.
LikeLike
Had to lauff…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great. You don’t know how hard I worked to try and be phunny.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yep, it ain’t easy being the town’s ghool. Or the town’s ghoul, for that matter…
LikeLike
PHoolish child – they’re bound to guess it was him!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Naw, It could have been anybody. Witnesses were threatened to be phlushed.
LikeLike
Such a temptation ghor a young boy, Russell. They’d better call the caretaker bephore things get out ough hand.
We have Wiarton Willie up here; but really we’re all waiting to see iph Doug Ghord sees his shadow today, or iph it’s 6 more weeks in lockdown.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well Jen, let’s hope Doug Ghord didn’t see his shadow and there’s only 2 more weeks of lockdown.
LikeLike
Reblogged this on Musings on Life & Experience and commented:
If you enjoy this hilarity, swim to the top right side of the blog and click on one or both of the book covers for more of it. You can also reblog this post as I’ve done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That was sweet of you, Suzanne. Glad this one tickled your phunny bone.
LikeLike
What is it with boys and their toilet humour? A-Ha, managed a comment without a ph sound!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, and we’re going to have to send you to the principal for phailing to phallow instructions. No cake and ice cream for you today, Iain.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh phiddlesticks!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Atta boy. Okay, maybe a little cake.
LikeLike
Dear Punxsutawney Phlush,
I knew this particular prompt would be your phorte. Why do I get the pheeling this story is true? Splish Splash and plop plop phizz phizz. Thank you phor making a special appearance. I’m relieved. Oops.
Shalom,
Fillis Dilla W(T)Ph
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Fyllis Dilla W(T)Ph,
Glad you enjoyed it. Another title could have been “Phun With F Words.” The story is mostly true and can be phound in “One Idiot Short of a Village” under the title, “The Backside of Learning.”
I happy you’re relieved and sincerely hope you did so in the bathroom rather than the sofa.
Give my love to Phang,
Punxsutawney Phlush
LikeLike
Phor crying out loud! This is too phunny! 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Glad it gave you a chuckle or two, Morgaine. Here at What’s So Phunny, we try to give the best value for your humor dollar, pound, euro, etc.
LikeLiked by 1 person
it must be fun while it lasted. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hate to tell you this, Plaridel, but you misspelled phun.
LikeLiked by 1 person
An incorrigible and very phunny kid.
And I do NOT want a phat rodent named Linda!
LikeLiked by 1 person
What? I thought you’d be phlattered? The rodent is not phat. She’s just ghurry and very cuddly. 🙂
Not only that, she can predict the weather. How many other rodents can do that?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beats me :). Anyway Punxatawney Phil is alliterative–almost– and ddPunxatawney Linda just isn’t very harmonious 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh to be a ten year old again, great ghun.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah, yes. The carephree days of youth.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I had to get help ghrom a ghriend here, Russell.
AnElefantCant believe he’s invited
To be involved in all this tomphoolery
Since time immemorial
He avoids humour lavatorial
When each ghlush has an ephghect quite undulary
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nice poem, C.E. Just think of all the toy Egyptians who drowned in the Yellow Sea.
I knew you’d like that part.
LikeLike
My vote is Punxsutawney Sacagawea. I homeschooled my kids (we lived overseas) when they were little and I taught them fonetics. Nightmare!! This letter says this, except when it DOESN’T!! Phrankly, it was ghrustrating and drove me nutty as a phruitcake! I still haven’t phully recovered. (Few, that was phun!)
For your story, yuck to the yellow sea (haha), but haven’t we all had this happen at one time or another. Love the last line!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Brenda. Fonetics was ridiculous. Who needs rules that only apply occasionally?
As for the Yellow Sea, it really wasn’t that yellow. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very amusing, Russell. It reminded me a phair bit ogh my school days and particualrly the urge that schoolboys have to succumb to. Sometimes, whatever the punishment phreat, phings have to be done.
Did I get the letters in the right places?
LikeLiked by 1 person
You did all right, Michael, except on threat and things. Neither of those contain an F, but I still got the dright of what you were saying.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Fank you
LikeLike