Russell Gayer, author speaker
For centuries, man has attempted to modify nature by crossbreeding different plants and animals of similar species. Sometimes the results have been successful and at other times a total disaster.
Oranges are a hybrid fruit, traced back to a cross breed between a pomelo and mandarin. Mules are also a classic example of successful crossbreeding.
But the worst example of genetics gone awry is the Spork. Sure, these two sleep together in the same silverware drawer, but that’s no reason to force them to have sex. It’s wrong. It’s unnatural. And just plain perverted. What’s next, Spork porn?
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the munchkin who oversees this virtual circus is Olive Brasso Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
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This is the blog of a woman who is seriously on the edge and I mean right ON the edge…no, not there… just a little bit further… further than that…no, further still…just a tiny bit more… just move slightly to the right a little…no, that’s too much…just move a tad to the left…that’s right, just there…now you’ve moved too far to the left… Damn, what part of the ‘on the edge’ do you not understand? Oh, and her matricidal boy genius, come devil spawn.
Or the three people I guilted into reading this blog, whatever.
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And the worst things. And all that weird stuff in between.
Dear Emmett Gee Whiz Kelly,
Quite the mystery. Although I suspect Mr. Ayr. He had motive and is well known for his violent temper and sinister nature. 😉 That’s what happens when the clowns run the circus. Eh?
Shalom.
Olive Brasno W(T)F
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Dear Olive Brasno W(T)F,
While Ayr is the obvious choice, it’s too easy. I suspect someone is trying to frame him. But who?
Could it be the bearded woman who’s tired of his cruel jokes and sexual innuendos? Charlie may have to call in Colton Lowry to help with this case.
Emmett Take-a-whiz Kelly
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🤣🤣🤣
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Sporks belong in Ripley’s Believe It Or Not. Not my circus, not my monkeys? 😀 Hilarious as always!
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Sporks belong in outer space. Far, far way from our galaxy.
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I’d watch out for anyone with the surname Kelly. Bound to be involved.
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“Beware of the Irish,” my mother said. And then I married a Kilpatrick. Always up to something.
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The one I least suspect is the one I most suspect
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Good strategy, Neil. My money’s on the mime.
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As long as the spork buried in the cotton candy mess isn’t… oops, I mean, it sounds like an intriguing case.
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Dear Trent Lo,
So, you confess to jamming the cotton candy machine with sporks. How devious. But why, oh why, did you cut the bottoms out of all the popcorn bags? The children look so sad holding empty paper sleeves.
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I know nothing about no popcorn bags, see? I’d go ask that Mr. Kelly guy….
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Think I will. Kelly is probably sabotaging the circus so he can buy Cassandra Crook out cheaply.
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OH MY! Hilarious and thought provoking in one…wait, that’s how I describe sporks too. ;-D
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Hideous, arent they? And to think–some people stick them in their mouth. GAG!!!!
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The killer is Russell Gayer! Very clever of him to plant clues that lead in every which way except to him. I hope that great detective Blockson will be picking him up soon. Another case successfully solved!
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Much more clever than I’m capable of.
That Blockson is always nosing around somewhere (and I mean that literally). His beak makes Jimmy Durante’s nose look like a pimple.
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somebody who can slither and slide into a tight spaces is highly suspect. 🙂
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I only know one circus person small enough to do that.
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That was clever and fun!
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Thanks, Jenne.
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Lots of fun with this one!
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Thanks for the comment. Glad you enjoyed it.
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The rumours of a love triangle aren’t true! I categorically deny them! All I’ve even swallowed is swords!
Hilarious take on the prompt, Russell.
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I didn’t expect you to confess, but don’t worry, you’re not under oath. However, there are a lot of suspicious activities going on inside that circus tent.
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It’s the revenge of the Sporks. They genetically manipulated the popcorn and fed it to Jennifer who then turned into a giant fly. The others had no choice than to do battle with insecticide and the fly swatter. Then they cut the bags of popcorn open to preven the children from turning into more giant flies. There. Case closed.
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Those darn Sporks. I knew they should never have let them inside the big top.
Thank God the children were saved!
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Very creative, as always, and entertaining tale!
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Thanks, Brenda. Perhaps you’ll have role in one of my future productions. 🙂
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It’s a fair cop, guv, it was me what done it!
Y’see, BigNose, the Mime fed the popcorn to my cobra, who ate the Fly, then the lying, I mean Lion, dude gave her a spider which of course wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.
So I had no choice, see, it wuz me or them, and there ain’t nobody gonna push around Wadsworth (really, Wadsworth?) Ayr, okay?
But you’ll never take me alive, copper!
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I’m not buying your confession, Wadsworth (yes, really) Ayr. The only part that sounds legit is the spider wriggling and jiggling and tickling inside her (I’ve read that story to my grandchildren many times).
I think you’re covering for somebody. Probably than sneaky little mime with the purple beret. What does she have on you? If you won’t talk maybe your snake will. We’ll get to the bottom of this yet.
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Laughing all the way 🙂
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