What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Damaged derrières
How many of you have attended a tent revival? Mom dragged me to one in 1967. It was scheduled during the hottest week of the summer and held in large army-green canvas structures. Inside, the heat and odors were suffocating. If bottled, the fragrance would’ve been labeled Eau de Gym Locker.
The evangelist was a silver-haired version of Ichabod Crane. His boney fingers trembled even when he wasn’t pointing them at every lost sinner in the congregation. From his point of view, if you weren’t going to speak for an hour, why bother opening your mouth. Then came the altar call, which lasted a full thirty minutes.
When we got home, I had to peel my clothes off and draped them over a chair. The next day they could stand by themselves. If Hell is anything like a tent revival, I sure don’t want to go.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the chirping beak who emcees this show is Eleanor “Bird Woman of Belton” Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
The musical of group Ronnie, Ray, and Stevie, known as The Three Blind Mice, filed suit today seeking punitive damages against Eva MacDonald, wife of local farmer Ol’ MacDonald.
The plaintiffs are asking for $3 million compensation for the loss of their tails, which they allege the defendant chopped off with a carving knife.
Lawyers for Mrs. MacDonald claim she acted in self-defense, fearing for her life. “The mice were chasing her. This lawsuit is clearly a promotional stunt to draw attention to their new album.”
The trio plans to release the recording under the name The Three Bob-Tailed Rodents.
30 Comments on “Damaged derrières”
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What's So Funny? 
😀 Hilarious! I should have sued those mice that invaded my home last year!
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You should have. But my question is, were they good singers?
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There’s no getting away from it. The original three blind mice is a brutal tale. I alway thought so as a kid and never sympathised with the farmer’s wife
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Perhaps, but I think the compensation they were seeking was a little over the top.
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Hmm… I’m normally on the side of the mice in that story, but as my kitchen bin is currently the final resting place of all three band members, the farmer’s wife might claim the moral high ground.
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You can erect a little memorial so pilgrims can come visit.
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Loved it. Absolutely hilarious.
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Thanks. I’ll give you 30 minutes to stop saying stuff like that. 🙂
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I’ll buy it. The story that is, not the album.
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What? You don’t want to hear their rendition of “I Can See Clearly Now” and their big hit, “Hack the Knife?”
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Those tent revival things fascinate me – not that I’d ever contemplate attending one, but man, how they manage to gather all the believers blows my mind.
As for the mice, I feel for them. As long as they be hanging elsewhere than IN my house 😉
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I don’t see many tent revivals these day. They must’ve fallen from grace.
I thought you’d open a B & B for the mice when they toured Canada?
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I imagine they have.
Welllll…. 😉
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Did you ever see such a thing in your life as The Three Bob-Tailed Rodents?
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Never. Imagine the horror of being chased by blind rodents?
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Dear Outback Wrangler,
EEEEEE AYYYYY EEEEEEE AYYYYY OOOOOOOOHHHHHH. Cute names for the mice. 😉 Perhaps Eva was stressed out after the sweaty tent revival and lost her head. At least they weren’t three blind mimes with invisible boxes. About time you showed up.
Shalom,
The Bird Woman of Belton W(T)F
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Thanks for noticing the names of the mice. 🙂
Let’s hope Eva goes to the altar and asks for forgiveness.
Yes, I’m thankful they weren’t blind mimes. 🙂
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Oops. I replied in the wrong spot.
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Ha! Great take on the prompt. You always bring a laugh into my laugh. Thank you!
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A laugh to your laugh, huh? That’s a new one on me. But thanks. 🙂
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So I’ve been awake since midnight! Laugh into my life!
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Life is hard for blind mimes. They keep running into invisible walls and bumping their heads.
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HA HA HA too funny and a perfect lift for an afternoon inside due to scorching heat.
Thanks for the hilarity, Russell. The mice album might be a big seller since they are tailless,
I have been to a revival tent, only once. A friend was going. I was curious, as I always am. Nope, not my thing but good for anyone that enjoys them.
Isadora 😎
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Wishing the band much success and hope they don’t leave too many little pellets on stage behind them.
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LOL … watch your step 😀
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Lets hope the stunt works or else they will be chasing their own tails. Fun read.
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Well, at least they got some publicity here. I’m sure many in the audience will be wearing tiny fake mouse tails as a tribute.
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My cat is available for hire as an alternative assassin. The other day, to add to her store of shrews, mice, fledglings and rats she proudly deposited a slow worm on the hall carpet. Love your story. Your tent revival clothes… meh… not so much.
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I’ve always wondered why the farmer’s wife didn’t aim for their heads. Well, maybe she did 🙂
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Brutal Eva should have to pay, that’s my opinion and I stand by it. Now, where can I download their music?
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