I’m a fun-loving humorist who has published two books, The Perils of Heavy Thinking: A Collection of Humorous Shorts in 2014 and One Idiot Short of a Village: and Other Stories of Wacky Characters in Quirky Places in 2018. Both books are available on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback form.
Want to laugh until you can’t breathe? You must check out these books! I can even send you an autographed copy if you contact me directly.
In the titular novella wrapping up this collection of comical short stories, readers join the tiny hamlet of Nasal Falls, Wisconsin, in their steadfast effort to become a bona fide Village. City leaders have discovered that one critical element is missing—an official Village Idiot.
Every village must have an idiot, you know. But where can you find a genuine idiot and how much will it cost? “Good idiots don’t come cheap,” says Treasurer and Councilman, Rip Skinflint.
An exhaustive search reveals a wealth of incompetence for hire but, in the end, it’s narrowed down to two of North America’s dimmest bulbs who compete as finalists. For the hamlet residents/aspiring villagers, the path to their goal leads through a wildly unpredictable obstacle course populated by a crew of zany, irrepressible characters.
It’s a hilarious journey, devoid of common sense, with a destination where every day is April Fool’s Day. From the funhouse that’s laughingly called Russell Gayer’s brain come another 13 wonderful ventures into wackiness. Pack up your troubles and set them out the back door—there’s no room for them in this nutty world.
From the warped mind that brought you The Perils of Heavy Thinking come more lighthearted snorts and giggles. This one will bring sidesplitting laughter into your life. You can thank us later…after you catch your breath.
Russell Gayer has become one of my go-to authors in a friendly flash fiction writing group known as the Friday Fictioneers. The humorous way he portrays the trials and tribulations of life never fail. In One Idiot Short of a Village, his short stories take the reader on a tour of The Academy of Spoiled Rotten Brats, provides a money winning endeavor in The Ins and Outs of Bellybutton Lint Farming, and lets you know what will happen if you ignore signs that say Don’t Tease the Squirrels.
The final novella-length story, One Idiot Sort of a Village, will inspire you to end your next road trip in the newly minted village of Nasal Falls, home of Kowalski cheese. Russell’s description of how the quirky occupants turn Nasal Falls from a mere hamlet to a village will keep you laughing and scratching your head.
If you answered Yes, No, or What? to any of these questions, this is the book for you.
This collection of hilarious short stories and essays from funny guy Russell Gayer will take you on a wild ride from medical mishaps, to failing fishermen, GPS goofballs, and painful politicians.
Along the way, you’ll meet people who talk too much, think too much, and eat too many deep-fried, sugar-coated pastries. Pull up a comfortable chair and learn the secrets of mediocrity from the Master of Laziness and Procrastination.
He’ll teach you:
You will also meet Rachel Crofton, creator of the revolutionary new diet, The Food Triangle. Get in on the secrets of how to properly select and care for peeves as pets. Discover what you should expect your teenage daughter to learn in Driver’s Ed, and how to cope with the pressure of a mother-in-law named Cruella.
This book may not cure all the world’s problems, but it is guaranteed to provide hours of stress-free entertainment and laugh out loud moments. Even the most irritable funny bones will be tickled with delight.
I feel I owe Russell Gayer a debt of gratitude for airing his humorous shorts in public. In the Perils of Heavy Thinking, Gayer machetes his way through today’s tough topics such as: the evils of donut addiction, his slow recovery from a devastating bout with Home Project Shock Syndrome, and lets us in on how to tell if we might be suffering from the heartbreak of Irritable Vowel Syndrome.
Gayer’s wild and witty imagination can be traced back to his harrowing very first day of school, “back when dragons roamed the hills and hollows of North West Arkansas.”
“Cautiously, I climbed the steps and heard the monster’s teeth slam shut behind me. It had already consumed eight or ten kids, none of whom I’d ever met. I plopped down in the first row, unaware of the terror I was about to behold.”
Gayer also tells us about such things as The School of Hard Knocks, how he was able to realize his Dreams of Mediocrity as well as his “Moses Moment” when he was appointed to write the ultimate instruction guide entitled: How to Write “How to” Books.
I especially loved the essay about how Gayer got to meet Dave Barry at a book signing:
“Earlier in the evening, during our introductions, JB Hogan my cousin and fellow writer, informed Mr. Barry that many people considered me to be the Dave Barry of Northwest Arkansas. To which Mr. Barry replied, “That’s interesting. Everyone considers me the Russell Gayer of South Florida.”
In What to Wear? What to Wear?, Gayer describes his experiences as an athlete-ordinaire,
“At the peak of my athletic ability, I was mediocre at best. The coach soon realized that I had a God-given talent for getting in the way.”
The Perils of Heavy Thinking is a fun and witty collection of essays that the author has honed as tightly as Kim Novack’s Oscar face, and I found it to be a satisfyingly humorous read!
Poetry, Horror, Psychological Thrillers
Stories From Within
Finding ways to make words sparkle
This is the blog of a woman who is seriously on the edge and I mean right ON the edge…no, not there… just a little bit further… further than that…no, further still…just a tiny bit more… just move slightly to the right a little…no, that’s too much…just move a tad to the left…that’s right, just there…now you’ve moved too far to the left… Damn, what part of the ‘on the edge’ do you not understand? Oh, and her matricidal boy genius, come devil spawn.
Or the three people I guilted into reading this blog, whatever.
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