Occasionally, I’ll watch a cooking show on TV. The chef will combine a large number of hard-to-find ingredients then sauté, braise, broil, deep-fry, or bake the delicacy to perfection. It never turns out lopsided, burnt to a crisp, or looking like you scraped it off the road. (They must be using with a different wine.)… Read More The Shoe Sale
Last week, Linda Apple helped me set up a Facebook account. Like many older adults bordering on senility, I find new technology challenging. Not that Facebook is new—it’s just that I’ve been circling it in fear like a caveman who’s been asked to trade in his trusty spear for a missile launcher. I know it’s… Read More Crusty
Let’s talk about bumper stickers. Either you love ‘em or hate ‘em, right? I like them best when they’re on the back of someone else’s car. One of my favorites reads; “The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful.” Other popular options brag about how “Terrific” their kid is or feature images of stick families… Read More Adventures in Camping
The Washington County Fair opened yesterday. I suppose the reason they call it a Fair is because it’s only slightly above ho-hum, average at best. It would be nice if they held an exposition that was knock-your-socks-off fantastic, but I guess we don’t want to set the bar too high, now do we? There are… Read More Tour Guide at Belton Sanitarium
I’ve just returned from Little Rock where Dr. John Dornhoffer laid over my right ear and replaced my pea-sized brain with one the size of a marble. So far, the results have been fantastic (except for the excessive rattling). My muse has returned full force and my wit is sharper and stronger than ever as… Read More The ?FoneIX and MeTube
Let’s talk about emotions for a moment. How do you deal with anger? Some people scream and curse, some eat chocolate, others get even. Revenge has never served me well, even when dished out at sub-zero temperatures. I generally blow off steam by firing up a small gasoline engine, such as a weed-whacker or chainsaw… Read More Enlightenment
Connie sent me a text this morning stating that she’d stumbled across a list of best humor writers on the internet and that I was rated number sixty-seven. Let’s hope none of those above me are mimes. That would be embarrassing. I also assume this means “living” humor writers. In which case, I need only track… Read More Hard Knocks U.
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This is the blog of a woman who is seriously on the edge and I mean right ON the edge…no, not there… just a little bit further… further than that…no, further still…just a tiny bit more… just move slightly to the right a little…no, that’s too much…just move a tad to the left…that’s right, just there…now you’ve moved too far to the left… Damn, what part of the ‘on the edge’ do you not understand? Oh, and her matricidal boy genius, come devil spawn.
Or the three people I guilted into reading this blog, whatever.
Growing older is inevitable. Growing up is optional.
Confessions of a Delusional Maniac
I may make you feel, but I can't make you think.
All the Blogging That's Fit To Print
AS I TOLD THE GIRL THAT I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO, THANKS FOR LAUGHING AT ME HERE TODAY.
I don't write, I touch without touching.
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Stylistically Abusing Language for the Betterment of Mankind
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